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other parent using child as a carrier

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  • #16
    Another poster described this as dysfunctional.

    Think of it this way: you and ex are using your child as a medium to debate whether or not tylenol should go in the fridge.

    Yes, your ex shouldn’t have sent the tylenol or storage instruction. And you shouldn’t debate with child or show the label to prove the point you are right. You are both contributing to the debate and you are both doing it through the child.

    Pick your battles. If can’t tell and are too emotional to tell them just don’t say anything to child bounce you concern off a friend (not the kind who tells you want to hear) or use this forum and never send an email in the heat of the moment, wait until the next day to read it

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    • #17
      Simply explain to the child that mom does things her way at her house and you do things your way at your house, and it's ok.

      Maybe you sort your laundry by colours, and mom doesn't. Or mom makes the bed every day and you don't. It would honestly be the same if you were still together. When you lived together did you do everything moms way? If so, kidlet may be used to everyone doing everything mom's way. If not, just remind the kid of that whenever it comes up.

      It's honestly really not that big of a deal or difficult to deal with. They see people doing things differently all the time, at other people's houses, at school and they will see it at mom and dad's houses as well.

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