Unbelievable, really.

[gettingtakenforaride]

I'ts gone three in the morning and I've effectively given up sleeping, my lawyer informed me that my X is 100% opposed to a shared custody regime where in the children spend a month with me and the next with her (work schedule forces me to be away a month at a time).

My lawyer has also informed me that I'm up the proverbial creek and in the same breath that the courts "absolutely encourage maximum contact with each parent, they also like to keep things steady for the children"

I'm sorry i don't understand how steady (set schedule) and maximum contact (50/50) do not apply here.

My lawyer has indicated that I'm obviously allowed to pursue this course of action (50/50) and will gladly offer up a more "suitable attorney" for my case in order to save me the added expenses of travel.

So perhaps my general mistrust of lawyers but what the hell has she done to help me?

And secondly, if I see the natural progression of all this, even though I want my children, my X wants to play gate keeper and is apparently well within her rights, I'll also be responsible for paying her full CS because she just doesn't wanna share (which was one of the reasons I left in the first place)

This can't be right, in anyones mind.

[NBDad]

How old are the kids? Was the status quo while you will still together close to month on/month off? (ie. that you did the bulk of the "kid stuff" on your month home?)

Does the ex work?

Final question: Without thinking about it, what's more important to you? Kids or Job?

[wretchedotis]

Tough question NBDad. Pretty hard to raise kids w/out a job to provide a roof over their heads.

I say find yourself a new lawyer.

The points to consider is that depending on age - month on/month off may not be a suitable arrangement for the kids. I would think this isn't good for the children if they are too young. Don't ask me what too young is, however.

Finally, its not right. You're 100% correct. But we're talking about the way things are - not whats 'right'. Mom always has that favour thing on her side in Family Court. Get used to it.

[NBDad]

I was leading into other stuff with it...and you are right, it's a tough question.
But if push comes to shove and he has to pick, what's he going to pick? Everything else stems from that.

As long as you aren't picky there are tons of jobs out there if you are willing to work. Is there maybe other employment more locally that doesn't entail leaving for a month at a time?

My ex cost me two jobs over the course of a single year with her shit. Each time I chose the children vs. the job. It totally ruined me financially for the next couple years, but in the long run, it's just money. We get by, maybe not as well or as easily as before, but we do it.