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  • #16
    From what I see it is less rare especially when you are well prepared, reasonable and you have a professional background. I offered to have everyone pay their own way and I am the respondent in a pretty frivolous filing.

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    • #17
      OK, keep us apprised. From what I have been told by lawyer, it is rare to receive even 1/2 of what you put in towards costs. You may get some costs back to you on the basis of the frivolous filing. Remember, frivolous to you, may not be frivolous to the applicant....

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      • #18
        Originally posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
        No matter who "wins" costs, it won't nearly be as much as you have put in.

        For those who win a costs award with a lawyer, they "may" recover 25% of what what they spent on legal fees spent.

        For self-reps, it is EXTREMELY unlikely you will be awarded a costs award. There are rare cases where a self-rep will be awarded a cost value on the time spent preparing for the case. These are extremely rare where the other party was completely unreasonable and just wasting everyone's time and resources. Again, for self-rep, it is extremely rare to be awarded a cost award.
        Some interesting research on the subject here: https://representingyourselfcanada.com/

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        • #19
          Originally posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
          OK, keep us apprised. From what I have been told by lawyer, it is rare to receive even 1/2 of what you put in towards costs. You may get some costs back to you on the basis of the frivolous filing. Remember, frivolous to you, may not be frivolous to the applicant....
          Will do. No lawyer will tell you that a SRL will get costs. And most will mislead their client to think costs will be awarded to them. Then surprise, nada. This is what I call sharp practice, unfair, unethical and just plain mean. Taking cash out of he kids education fund is all it is. Like robbing the collection plate. Ask me what I really think.

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          • #20
            WorkingDad on here won significant costs in his matter. He was self repped through almost all of it if not all of it if I recall.

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            • #21
              It is shared custody. I have been paying my share. Increase if 50% of what I pay has been requested. Before I agree on paying , I have asked for evidence that warrants that increase.
              3 month pass by and on monthly basis, I keep on asking. Finally a motion gets served on me and the kids are asked by the EX if their father received it . How sad.

              Children in therapy but not parental alienation therapy. As the EX refuses to acknowledge that this is parental alienation and claims that she can’t support the therapy , it will be an uphill battle to enrol in parental alienation therapy.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Keepgoing View Post
                Children in therapy but not parental alienation therapy. As the EX refuses to acknowledge that this is parental alienation and claims that she can’t support the therapy , it will be an uphill battle to enrol in parental alienation therapy.

                This isnt alienation. She is INFLUENCING the children and INTERFERING in the relationship but has not alienated them. You still see them. You still have parenting time with them. You can still enforce your time with them.

                Alienation is a whole other ball game and you need to stop throwing that term around. You want to stop being marginalized and denied time.

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                • #23
                  Currently I have access refusal and the EX is claiming that the kids feel unsafe and therefore they will not be encouraged to go see me during access.

                  The EX is requesting OCL involvement? Anyone had OCL involved? I hear it is like rolling dice in terms of who you get in your case.
                  Thanks

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Keepgoing View Post
                    Currently I have access refusal and the EX is claiming that the kids feel unsafe and therefore they will not be encouraged to go see me during access.

                    The EX is requesting OCL involvement? Anyone had OCL involved? I hear it is like rolling dice in terms of who you get in your case.
                    Thanks

                    I thought, you were already progressing through court stages, given you said this:


                    Originally posted by Keepgoing
                    Alas the final attempt to settle with a judge is next week and if not off to trial. Their single offer was a joke, adding claims and ridiculous changes that were not in the original pleadings.

                    So where in court process are you then, and what is her motion about? I thought it was just seeking more money? I'm doubtful that OCL would happen at this point, or if that's what the motion addresses.



                    If you're being denied access, make sure to document it, and try to get her responses denying access, in writing (email). Or if it's texts, I guess - email is better though.



                    It's helpful, to show in court, you're being denied access, while moving through the motion, especially, when the ex's motion seems to be focused on child-support/or additional money.


                    Make sure too, to document as well, your ex's "refusal" to support therapy for the kids.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                      WorkingDad on here won significant costs in his matter. He was self repped through almost all of it if not all of it if I recall.

                      As an aside;
                      I wonder how much of the awarded costs WorkingDad has seen come his way though.



                      In my court process (it's been long), I've been awarded a few times, some costs, but haven't seen a cent yet. Trying to get them included as part of final order, with child support, to be enforced through FRO. Don't have a high expectation of seeing the costs though.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                        She is obligated to provide you with parenting time. A simple “I will be at your home to collect our children at x time.” And then get them.
                        I am in a similar situation. I have court mandated telephone access with my children (13 year old daughter, 14 year old son) and also a liberal access schedule. We have joint custody.

                        My daughter is going through some emotional problems and says she is hearing voices. Her mother would not take her to see a doctor (she does not even have a GP for the kids) so I took her to my GP who is looking into getting her a therapist.

                        My daughter asked that she be the one to tell her mother about seeing a therapist so I let her do that.

                        My wife freaked out. She has told me that she believes that my daughters problems are all my fault and has said that the kids "have unequivocally told (her) they need a break" from me.

                        Now, I am being denied court mandated telephone access to both my kids. I am told they do not want to see me or talk to me at all. Previously, they looked forward to our time together and now, seemingly all of a sudden, my daughter will not answer my texts, my son is accusing me of beating him, being mentally ill and a drunkard (these allegations are false and the way he speaks about it sounds exactly like things my ex wife has said about me previously) and being the cause of his low self-esteem.

                        I am also told that my daughter believes that I am the cause for *her* low self-esteem. I don't know what my daughter is actually thinking or feeling because I haven't been able to talk to her in over a month. My ex wife will not answer the phone when I call and the kids will not answer either. And my texts to my daughter go unanswered.

                        I have missed two access visits and the March Break is coming up. If I just show up at my wife's house to take my daughter for our court appointed access time and she does not want to come with me because of the alienation that has apparently occurred, what should I do?

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                        • #27
                          At 13 and 14 the saying goes their feet will do the talking. Children at 13, 14,15 have a lot to say when it comes to where they wish to be.
                          Such a tough situation for the kids. I sincerely hope that they are not actually being influenced that way.
                          All you can really do is document carefully, try your best to communicate and stay calm.
                          If your children need psychological counselling this is normally considered to be a joint decision unless an emergency.
                          You could try to find a therapist for yourself that has experience in high conflict divorce for some independent guidance and to help you manage your own emotions.
                          There are loads of resources online as well.

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                          • #28
                            My understanding was that 14 was the age at which the kids are not obligated to attend at access visits?

                            There is no doubt whatsoever that there is parental alienation at work here. There is a very good chance that I will not see either of them again for a long time if there is no legal recourse for me here.

                            And I am worried sick about my daughter. This is completely out of character for her.

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                            • #29
                              Boy does this hit home... I've been in your situation and am still going through it now. I have 3 daughters and they have all gone through some sort of separation from me. I left their mother (not for anyone else) and it's been one hell of a climb to keep them in my life. I've seen my youngest drift away, when we've had such a strong relationship in the past. My oldest one drift in and away at times... but she's also a new Mom these days. My middle daughter was the most resentful in the past, but has been around more than anyone else. It's not an easy road and I have a ton of proof regarding the alienation. I've been told and have always taken the high road. I've been accused of all sorts of things and has even extended to all my family as well. I would say stay true to who you are, always take the high road and never speak ill of your ex. It's not easy and accusations will always be there. Correct softly and calmly when needed, but don't fight it. They need to blame someone and unfortunately, you appear to be the target. When the time is right, they will come around and want to talk. Prepare for that moment the best you can and stay strong. Seek counselling for yourself now, as it will surely help you through this process. It's going to hurt like hell, but you will make it through this. Prayers for you through this tough time.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Keepgoing View Post
                                The EX is requesting OCL involvement? Anyone had OCL involved? I hear it is like rolling dice in terms of who you get in your case.
                                Thanks
                                There are plenty of threads in this forum on OCL involvement. To receive answers to these questions, it is suggested to search the forum or start a new thread.

                                Comment

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