Thanks to everyone for their input. I know there were a lot of questions, and it's hard to address them all... Probably the biggest question people have is about the FRO issue. Even I have trouble answering that, because my ex doesn't share this info with me.
Here's the outline of the Fro issue in point form:
- SA was made in 2009, and we agreed that I'd just give her post-dated cheques a year at a time.
- I never missed a payment, and only a couple of times I asked if she could just wait one extra day because of the biweekly nature of my paydays.
- By 2011 my work schedule changed radically so I only had to work 4 days a week with very flexible time off and lots of vacation and stat days, so I asked for mediation to alter the SA to increase my access to closer to 50% and reduce my support (she began living with her affair partner the day I moved out).
- She refused to change anything, so I began legal proceedings. This angered her, so she filed with FRO for revenge, as she knew it would affect my credit rating.
- The first Judge suggested we mediate with the lawyers, and we compromised on more days and less support (with many other outstanding issues).
- (Here's where it gets tricky...) The new access and support arrangement went by another judge, where at that point the ex was supposed to file it with FRO. I have no idea if she ever did.
- By the next court appearance, my lawyer and I had made significant progress and the Judge was sympathetic, but insisted we mediate the final details ourselves.
- Bored yet...?
- We mediated with our lawyers present and I successfully increased my days and decreased my support. At the beginning it was $1000 a month, and now I was at $465. The ex refused to let me get near 40% access, of course. The mediator told her that she had to contact FRO again to notify them to suspend any action with arrears because our new arrangement was going to begin immediately and there wasn't a court order to file with the amount yet. It was left that we had to finish some things ourselves and the mediator would finalize it, and sign it, file it and whatever for us.
- Flash forward and I have no idea if she ever contacted FRO. The ex didn't do her part for any of the paperwork and refused to go back to finalize things and just kept blowing me off about signing anything after I did all the paperwork myself.
I'm terrified to contact FRO, for fear that they'll pounce on me. But I haven't paid the full 2009 SA amount to them in almost 3 years, so I have no idea where my arrears might be. At a court appearance last year her lawyer said it was around $3500. I just don't know....
Here's the outline of the Fro issue in point form:
- SA was made in 2009, and we agreed that I'd just give her post-dated cheques a year at a time.
- I never missed a payment, and only a couple of times I asked if she could just wait one extra day because of the biweekly nature of my paydays.
- By 2011 my work schedule changed radically so I only had to work 4 days a week with very flexible time off and lots of vacation and stat days, so I asked for mediation to alter the SA to increase my access to closer to 50% and reduce my support (she began living with her affair partner the day I moved out).
- She refused to change anything, so I began legal proceedings. This angered her, so she filed with FRO for revenge, as she knew it would affect my credit rating.
- The first Judge suggested we mediate with the lawyers, and we compromised on more days and less support (with many other outstanding issues).
- (Here's where it gets tricky...) The new access and support arrangement went by another judge, where at that point the ex was supposed to file it with FRO. I have no idea if she ever did.
- By the next court appearance, my lawyer and I had made significant progress and the Judge was sympathetic, but insisted we mediate the final details ourselves.
- Bored yet...?
- We mediated with our lawyers present and I successfully increased my days and decreased my support. At the beginning it was $1000 a month, and now I was at $465. The ex refused to let me get near 40% access, of course. The mediator told her that she had to contact FRO again to notify them to suspend any action with arrears because our new arrangement was going to begin immediately and there wasn't a court order to file with the amount yet. It was left that we had to finish some things ourselves and the mediator would finalize it, and sign it, file it and whatever for us.
- Flash forward and I have no idea if she ever contacted FRO. The ex didn't do her part for any of the paperwork and refused to go back to finalize things and just kept blowing me off about signing anything after I did all the paperwork myself.
I'm terrified to contact FRO, for fear that they'll pounce on me. But I haven't paid the full 2009 SA amount to them in almost 3 years, so I have no idea where my arrears might be. At a court appearance last year her lawyer said it was around $3500. I just don't know....
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