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  • Matrimonial Home

    Hello , I'm new here and find this forum to be helpful as there are a ton of information and advice on separation / divorce. I searched for an answer to a specific question and I'm not clear that I found one.


    My wife has left me 3 years ago and she wants to be separated and not get a divorce, but she keeps putting pressure on me to sell the family home that is in both of our names and split the money, I don't want to sell as I want to keep the house for our kids.


    I will likely need to get a lawyer at some point, but right now I was wondering if this statement that I read online applies for Ontario.


    " If you and your ex own a home that is in both of your names, they cannot legally force you to sell the house. ... Your ex can try to force you out of the home, but they cannot legally. Until the divorce is finalized, you both have the right to remain in the home. Once you are officially divorced you may decide to sell"


    I would really appreciate if anyone would kindly answer this question for me.

  • #2
    She could go to court and try to force the sale of the home.

    Have you considered buying her out?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
      She could go to court and try to force the sale of the home.

      Have you considered buying her out?
      I heard this too but for some reason very few people that demand the house be sold go this route. Lawyers never give a straight answer.

      I can say this. You won't get the money until you get your final order so that money just sits there doing nothing. Maybe they dont know this.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Claudio View Post


        " If you and your ex own a home that is in both of your names, they cannot legally force you to sell the house. ... Your ex can try to force you out of the home, but they cannot legally. Until the divorce is finalized, you both have the right to remain in the home. Once you are officially divorced you may decide to sell"

        This is 99% incorrect. Look up the Partition Act of Ontario. The only time that the court will not enforce the sale of the home is if it can be shown that the applicant is vexatious or acting in bad faith, or if it would cause irreparable harm to the children (one spouse has nowhere to move to).

        As mentioned above, the funds from the sale (after paying off any liens) would be held in trust pending a final resolution and court order - so your ex wouldn't get the money either.

        Find a new place, the sale of the home is inevitable. By delaying all you will be doing is transferring your equity in your house to your lawyers.

        Comment


        • #5
          I don't have the money to buy her out. I'm mostly interested in what is best for our son and daughter.They will not have any pension from work when they retire about 20- 25 years from now, and our home is their pension. She will be retiring very soon with a pension from work and pension from the Government. To make a long story short she wants her money so she can spend it the way she wants.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            She could go to court and try to force the sale of the home.

            Have you considered buying her out?



            I don't have the money to buy her out. I'm mostly interested in what is best for our son and daughter.They will not have any pension from work when they retire about 20- 25 years from now, and our home is their pension. She will be retiring very soon with a pension from work and pension from the Government. To make a long story short she wants her money so she can spend it the way she wants.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by DHTO View Post
              This is 99% incorrect. Look up the Partition Act of Ontario. The only time that the court will not enforce the sale of the home is if it can be shown that the applicant is vexatious or acting in bad faith, or if it would cause irreparable harm to the children (one spouse has nowhere to move to).

              As mentioned above, the funds from the sale (after paying off any liens) would be held in trust pending a final resolution and court order - so your ex wouldn't get the money either.

              Find a new place, the sale of the home is inevitable. By delaying all you will be doing is transferring your equity in your house to your lawyers.



              Thanks for your reply.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
                I heard this too but for some reason very few people that demand the house be sold go this route. Lawyers never give a straight answer.

                I can say this. You won't get the money until you get your final order so that money just sits there doing nothing. Maybe they dont know this.

                Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I'm not the one the one who wants to sell.

                I'm actually doing all that I can to reconcile and do what is best for our family. I'm trying to figure a way so I don't have to sell the house, have a place for us to live and pass it on to our son and daughter.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Claudio View Post
                  I don't have the money to buy her out. I'm mostly interested in what is best for our son and daughter.They will not have any pension from work when they retire about 20- 25 years from now, and our home is their pension. She will be retiring very soon with a pension from work and pension from the Government. To make a long story short she wants her money so she can spend it the way she wants.

                  Your kids are adults and will get what they get. You and your ex acquired the asset and you both get a say.

                  Not to mention that your kids are old enough that it doesn’t matter where they live.

                  If she doesn’t want to reconcile then you are simply spinning your wheels and wasting time. The house will eventually have to be sold with the proceeds split. That includes any assets you had on the date of separation. You should also be monitoring if she is taking any loans out and using the house as equity. Any liens or loans against the property will subtract from the amounts and you won’t get that back.

                  Call and lawyer and ask what you need to do to protect yourself financially and stop thinking of ridiculous things like your kids’ inheritance.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    rockscan those things things he is thinking about are not ridiculous.
                    They may not be possible but they are not ridiculous.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      They are ridiculous. To expect your soon to be ex to let you keep a high value asset so you can leave it to your kids in 20 years is really out there. I get wanting to help your kids but this is one of those “just don’t” arguments in divorce.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                        They are ridiculous. To expect your soon to be ex to let you keep a high value asset so you can leave it to your kids in 20 years is really out there. I get wanting to help your kids but this is one of those �just don�t� arguments in divorce.
                        I agree with Rockscan. 100%

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          You should also be monitoring if she is taking any loans out and using the house as equity. Any liens or loans against the property will subtract from the amounts and you won�t get that back.
                          Just to clarify, ex's debt and liens (including legal aid) would be taken out of ex's equity share. You wouldn't pay for that.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                            They are ridiculous. To expect your soon to be ex to let you keep a high value asset so you can leave it to your kids in 20 years is really out there. I get wanting to help your kids but this is one of those �just don�t� arguments in divorce.



                            No! I do not expect the wife to let me keep the house for me. My son and I live in it at the moment he has a low paying job and could not afford to live anywhere on his own. I even suggested to the wife that we live in the same house but in different bedrooms as we don't really need extra money but she doesn't like the idea. She wants to be single, alone and wants her money and I understand that legally she's entitled to that.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              You and your son could rent something together.

                              While you may have feelings about your ex wife’s motives they are irrelevant and unhelpful. She could have the feeling that she tried for years and just can’t do it anymore. The kids are grown and her responsibilities are done. It’s unfair for you to judge her for her decisions or seek to punish her for what she wants to do. Many marriages break up once the kids are grown as one spouse may feel they have paid their dues and just want to be free of it.

                              Your kids are adults and need to learn how to live on their own and without support from mom and dad. If YOU can afford to continue to house your son, good for you, but he is an adult and needs to take responsibility for himself. You aren’t doing him any favours by continuing to support him. Perhaps he may be able to find a better paying job if he had to live elsewhere or he may have the freedom to apply for something else with your encouragement. In the end, you all have to do what’s best within the situation. Your ex should be able to move on with her life without any additional weights holding her back.

                              Comment

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