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  • Stopping Baptism?

    So, Hi again everyone. I want to baptize my son and obviously would like the x to attend. We're both Catholic and our other son was baptized already. If I give him a months notice (it will be scheduled on my weekend so to not interrupt his time) can he prevent it? He's been extremely uncooperative with EVERYTHING. I see my lawyer Tuesday, but just wanted some input.

    Thanks Again!<O</O

  • #2
    Send him a message letting him know that you would like to schedule the baptism and give him a time frame (1 week for example) to respond if he has any objections as you would like to go ahead and book it.
    My ex gave me problems too ( same religion, same church) and ended up showing up last minute because the rest of his family who were also invited were coming.

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    • #3
      this is when it all seems so petty. Its not like you guys are different religions or anything. Why do people have to be like that?? Let him know, let his family know and then if he decides to fight it he looks like an idiot for picking a fight where there should not be one.

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      • #4
        The Church should not allow it unless both parents approve. So yes, he can stop it. My ex did just that to me. Called the church and expressed her displeasure. The church would not then go ahead. I suppose if you have full custody they will go ahead anyway.

        I understand what you mean though - her and I are both baptized and always agreed the little one would be - until we broke up and it was another way she could make things dificult between us, that it.

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        • #5
          All mainstream Christian churches require both parents to authorize a baptism; in fact, the RC and ACC demand it, if available.


          In my opinion, if the baptism is going to be taking place in the same faith group as both parents, or the objecting parent is not a practicing Christian, I would not make this a major issue that will just take the focus of the main issues and only incur cost and stress. If the faith group is a recognized cult, perhaps that is an issue.

          Again, just my opinion.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Tracy123 View Post
            So, Hi again everyone. I want to baptize my son and obviously would like the x to attend. We're both Catholic and our other son was baptized already. If I give him a months notice (it will be scheduled on my weekend so to not interrupt his time) can he prevent it? He's been extremely uncooperative with EVERYTHING. I see my lawyer Tuesday, but just wanted some input.

            Thanks Again!<o</o
            Not really. He could try and stop it in court but, because your other child is baptized the status quo has already been set for religious upbringing. Furthermore, many judges see religion as an important element to a child's moral development. It would be an incredibly high-conflict thing to do to try and stop it.

            He should just go and be happy. If he does go on motion to stop it... It would be interesting to see what "evidence" he provides as to why it shouldn't.

            Good Luck!
            Tayken

            Comment


            • #7
              Not me ...

              Originally posted by Kenny View Post
              All mainstream Christian churches require both parents to authorize a baptism; in fact, the RC and ACC demand it, if available.
              I'm in Ontario, I am divorced (joint custody with ex seeing boys EOW). I was NOT married in the Catholic Church but am Catholic and all my boys' attend/attending a Catholic Elementary School AND High School.

              I have NEVER been required to get ex's permission from the church for baptism, 1st Communion or Confirmation.

              Maybe because my kids' are enrolled in a Catholic school?

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              • #8
                I have 4 children...2 are Catholic and 2 are Lutheran. I was also not married in the Catholic Church (I'm catholic). Was married by the Justice of the Peace. When I went to the church to have my son baptized they told they could not baptize him because in the eyes of the Church I was not married. I said fine I'll go to the Protestant Church I'm sure their God loves all Gods children...presto he soon found his way to baptize my son in the Catholic Church.

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                • #9
                  DunnMom: you should as the parent of the child have been contacted prior to the child being baptized with both parents meeting with the priest together or individually.
                  Your child attending Catholic school make no difference as a high percentage of students attending Catholic schools especially high school are "not Catholic and/or the parents are not Catholic".
                  You say your ex didn't get permission from you but were you contacted by the parish office/priest notifying you , asking you questions? that is usually procedure.

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                  • #10
                    TLCRN...you read DunnMoms post wrong...

                    She stated
                    "I have NEVER been required to get ex's permission from the church for baptism, 1st Communion or Confirmation."

                    Which means she never asked her ex about the baptism. Either way...it should be a none issue for the OP because their other child is already baptized.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                      TLCRN...you read DunnMoms post wrong...

                      She stated
                      "I have NEVER been required to get ex's permission from the church for baptism, 1st Communion or Confirmation."

                      Which means she never asked her ex about the baptism.
                      Oh really? And you know this HOW? Are you my ex?

                      My kids have been baptized, made their Reconciliation in Gr. 2, 1st Communion in Gr. 3 and the oldest made his Confirmation last year and the younger one will be making his next year. The church NOR my ex have ever given me grief about it and the church has NEVER asked me for ex's contact info to ensure I got his permission or required to speak to him or for him to sign anything.

                      Ex has ALWAYS been aware but quite frankly isn't religious and doesn't really give a shit. He came to both boys' 1st Communions (4 yrs & 6 yrs ago) but didn't come last year to the Confirmation.

                      Believe it or not, I also cross the border 20+ times a year or more with the kids' who now have different last names then me (remarried) and have never been asked for a letter of consent ... (although I do carry a generic one in my glove box that ex has signed)

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                      • #12
                        Dunnmom....i never meant anything about what you said... i was simply stating that the other poster read your post wrong...and you stated you didn't need your ex permission and from that I took you never ask your ex, I don't feel you freaking out was necessary.

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                        • #13
                          I apologize if I jumped the gun ...

                          if the OP read my post wrong then I certainly read yours wrong but your last line "Which means she never asked her ex about the baptism", implies to the OP, myself & I'm sure others that I simply withheld any information from my ex regarding any religious ceremonies that our kids' were partaking in and that is further from the truth. My ex was/is aware and because of his non-beliefs chooses to not attend which is certainly his choice.

                          I was trying to state that the school (Catholic) AND the church that the kids' go to (in Ontario) know/knew I was divorced and they did not ask for or demand my ex's input or consent. I'm thinking "perhaps" it's because in the eyes of the church, I was never married (city hall wedding).

                          I get furious when I read of ex's who pull stupid stunts all the time but alot of the people who are so adamant to be a integral part of their children's lives despite the obstacles thrown at them by bitter ex's simply don't realize that that in "SOME" cases ... the NCP is in fact happy with going on about their lives and seeing their kids' whenever it suits them (ie. once a month or so) and don't WANT full custody or 50/50 access or whatever.

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                          • #14
                            DunnMom I apologize, but what I got from what you said in regards to

                            "I have NEVER been required to get ex's permission from the church for baptism, 1st Communion or Confirmation."

                            said to me that you didn't require to so you never did... again, I wasn't meaning anything bad with what I said, I was just pointing out that the poster who commented had read your post wrong.

                            Lets just chalk this up to a misunderstanding?

                            I agree with you though, that some of the crap parents pull just to try to get back at the ex is insane, we can only hope that one day those ex's will realize that they are doing their children more harm than their ex. However, I won't hold my breath.

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                            • #15
                              TRUCE ))) ... And I'm not holding my breath either.

                              Sadly, in the last 6 wks alone I've gotten in major disagreements with my own brother & a close female friend over their dealings with their fresh separation/divorce issues ... In both cases they were thinking of how to screw their ex's as opposed to what would be best for their kids

                              Comment

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