Hello all! New member who had stumbled across these forums a while back in my quest for information. Seems like a lot of good stuff here, so wanted to add my journey here also.
Separated for almost two years now after a 13 year marriage, with a 9 year old son, and just trying to finalize a SA which we have been working on for almost a year through the collaborative law process.
I won't go into the whole history of the ordeal, but as all here have experienced the resentment, frustration, humiliation, etc. I think you get the idea.
Basically we have worked out the terms, amounts, duration, and everything looked good. Had her lawyer draw up the draft and picked it up last Friday to review it with my lawyer. Not fair (for example I handed her $75K equity in the house) but the cost of litigation would far outweigh the couple of hundred dollars per month I would gain. Eventually you don't taste your pride when you have to swallow it every day.
Now, I pick up the draft at my lawyers, he flip the pages, says it looks good (I will refrain from commenting on this Barrister's stellar performance, let's just say family law is not a strong suit). I take it home and find things like fixed for 7 years regardless of any change in either parties circumstances or shall only terminate on October 1, 2015. There were other items, such as the issue of CPP pension splitting (never mentioned until I saw it in the agreement), or how about this: ...inoculate them from any judicial review now or at any time in the future... or ...they do not wish to have a court order a change in support which deviates from or overrides this agreement, especially with regard to spousal support... or ...any court reviewing this agreement at any time in the future is to uphold this agreement in its entirety...
Now over the last 2 years, we have had our ups and downs, but have remained for the most part amicable, and kept our son insulated from our differences. We are fed up with the delays and the $25 phone calls and $900 interim bills for sweet FA, and have started to try and tweak this ourselves.
What about situations such as sickness or injury which would prevent me from fulfilling the SA with my signature on the back? Am I supposed to lose everything, then go bankrupt, before she realizes you don't bite the hand that feeds you? She had discussed co-habitation with guy she's been dating. That's fine, but am I expected to pay his living costs too? Does a change of circumstance apply here, as his income is the same or more than mine?
She thinks through litigation that she would retain the locked, non-negotiable clause how it is currently written. She doesn't realize I won't be going to court with a wimp. It's discouraging to get so close only to have it fall apart because of stubbornness.
Any thoughts/insights appreciated.
Separated for almost two years now after a 13 year marriage, with a 9 year old son, and just trying to finalize a SA which we have been working on for almost a year through the collaborative law process.
I won't go into the whole history of the ordeal, but as all here have experienced the resentment, frustration, humiliation, etc. I think you get the idea.
Basically we have worked out the terms, amounts, duration, and everything looked good. Had her lawyer draw up the draft and picked it up last Friday to review it with my lawyer. Not fair (for example I handed her $75K equity in the house) but the cost of litigation would far outweigh the couple of hundred dollars per month I would gain. Eventually you don't taste your pride when you have to swallow it every day.
Now, I pick up the draft at my lawyers, he flip the pages, says it looks good (I will refrain from commenting on this Barrister's stellar performance, let's just say family law is not a strong suit). I take it home and find things like fixed for 7 years regardless of any change in either parties circumstances or shall only terminate on October 1, 2015. There were other items, such as the issue of CPP pension splitting (never mentioned until I saw it in the agreement), or how about this: ...inoculate them from any judicial review now or at any time in the future... or ...they do not wish to have a court order a change in support which deviates from or overrides this agreement, especially with regard to spousal support... or ...any court reviewing this agreement at any time in the future is to uphold this agreement in its entirety...
Now over the last 2 years, we have had our ups and downs, but have remained for the most part amicable, and kept our son insulated from our differences. We are fed up with the delays and the $25 phone calls and $900 interim bills for sweet FA, and have started to try and tweak this ourselves.
What about situations such as sickness or injury which would prevent me from fulfilling the SA with my signature on the back? Am I supposed to lose everything, then go bankrupt, before she realizes you don't bite the hand that feeds you? She had discussed co-habitation with guy she's been dating. That's fine, but am I expected to pay his living costs too? Does a change of circumstance apply here, as his income is the same or more than mine?
She thinks through litigation that she would retain the locked, non-negotiable clause how it is currently written. She doesn't realize I won't be going to court with a wimp. It's discouraging to get so close only to have it fall apart because of stubbornness.
Any thoughts/insights appreciated.
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