Now what??

[Toooldforthis]

I attended the first case conference on Friday. All seemed to go fairly smoothly but we had to find out if funds from a deferred profit sharing plan could be transferred before proceeding any further in the process (which would eliminate the need for ex to obtain a loan or line of credit which would cause financial strain). There was a lot of flexibility on both of our sides and I thought we had made some progress. Fast forward to today. I walk my dog daily at the same park. My ex is aware of this and just as we were about done our walk he drove up and motioned for me to come over to the car. Thinking that he just wanted to see the dog, I went over where upon he informed me that he quit his job this morning, that I would no longer get benefits and that I was a money hungry #%@*ing ????. He informed me that I wasn’t getting half of anything and that he wasn’t paying any support and that I could go &%#* myself. There was none of this kind of display on Friday so he must have been just sitting there accepting offers and making offers with other plans in mind. The judge had suggested a lump sum payment due to our ages and the fact that maybe my ex wouldn’t work until 65 but we didn’t discuss this. My question now is….has anyone here experienced a situation similar to this? If a spouse quits work, can I ask to take a lump sum equal to more than half of the deferred profit sharing plan to compensate for the loss of potential spousal support due to his quitting his job?

[billiechic]

If he quit his job in retailation then you can have his income imputed to him. What an ASS!

[Toooldforthis]

Thanks for the response. Yes, that’s exactly why he quit. He left me a message on my answering machine when he was first served with the support papers threatening to do just this. My lawyer had me save the message and transcribe it just in case he carried through with the threat so that it would show previous intent. I know that we can have his wage imputed, but that only looks good on paper. If he fails to work then you can’t get blood from a stone. This is why I’m wondering if I can put some sort of freeze on his differed profit sharing plan so that it’s not all blown before a decision can be made as to how much of it I can get. Equalization of funds would give me between 26,000.00 – 29,000.00 depending on what value the car would be set at. If he’s not going to work, then I’d like to ask for 50,000.00 and forget the car. At least that would carry me until I can file for old age and CPP. Thankfully, I’m a very frugal person and since I’m living with my daughter I think I can get by on about 600.00 to 800.00 a month….that’s giving my daughter 400.00 a month towards expenses….I don’t expect to live with her cost free. Right now I owe her 1600.00 as she’s been letting me slide until I get some money coming in. I’ve got 700.00 left in my bank account so I don’t have anymore to give to my lawyer. I’m hoping the last cheque I gave him will carry me through to getting this lump sum payment because I won’t be able to keep pursuing my ex for support. After 34 years of marriage I realize now that I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. He always said he’d make sure I was always looked after, no matter what, but I guess that meant “for as long as I stayed and put up with his stuff”.