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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 09-28-2010, 10:43 PM
Hoover Hoover is offline
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Exclamation ex-wife fled the country with my daughter

Originally back in 2006, my ex-wife fled the country with our daugher. She forged my signature in order to take her oversease with her new husband in hopes to delete my daughter from my life and start fresh again without me in the picture. After countless hours trying to find where she was with my daughter, numerous lawyers visits and an obsene amount of money in lawyers fees...turns out she was forced to return to Canada and make up the time lossed with my daughter. She basically got a slap on the wrist within the family courts and now it's happening all over again. Accept this time, my ex-wife is trying to do it "legally". I received a letter in the mail today from her lawyer that states that her new husbamd is being forced to take a job in North Carolina and that they will be moving with my daughter in January 2011. My ex-wife makes empty promises to me about seeing my daughter and I am afraid I will never see her again. I am NOT one of those deadbeat father's who refuses to pay his child support. It was actually my choice to make payments throught FRO so that I didn't have to deal with my ex-wife. What if they move with or without my conscent and I never see her again? My daughter is now 12 years old and apparently she has "voice" within the court system now but she's too brain washed and afraid of her mother to use her voice. Is there anything I can do in this situation? My ex-wife has told her lawyer that she is willing to send her on a plane in the summer months to spend time with me.... I know that certainly won't happen...trust me, I know! I have no problem paying the $450.00 child support payment every month but I am also very concerned about losing contact with my daughter and/or the ex-wife and not being able to keep track of whther or not she's still attending school or even living under the same roof as her mother. Those custody payments are said to be stopped if she no longer resides with her mother and/or she finishes her first degree/certificate in school. Our custody agreement is pretty standard (I think)... I had her every other weekend, although, I haven't seen or spoken to my daughter since July 2010... she is suppose to provide me with resonable access to our daughter... if they move and she doesn't send her to me in the summer time or finds an excuse to tell me for example: "she doesn't want to come, she's too busy" that's not reasonable access! What are my options? Can I simply not sign the waiver that allows her to cross the border and leave the country with my daughter? Do I have that option or is that not in my best interest? Can I contact the police and make them aware of the situation and have them contact the borders in our area to have her red flagged when she tries to cross the border with her? She will try, I promise that! I wouldn't put it past her to say she's leaving in January 2011 but actually leave this coming November in order to get away under my nose. I really am stuck here, I don't really know what to do or if I can do anything at all... no one knows what my ex-wife is capable of.... she manipulates the system and everyone in it to get what she wants and what's best for herself, not what's best for our daughter. My wife and I really don't have the money to allow this to drag in court. We are already in debt because of her crap the last time she fled the country!
A Dad in need of some answers.
  #2  
Old 09-28-2010, 10:52 PM
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She can't just up and move your daughter to another country legally. File a motion to stop her. If she still wants to move after they block it, wish her well and tell her she can come visit her daughter at your place whenever she wants.
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Old 09-28-2010, 11:34 PM
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You need to search "mobility" in this forum and spend some hours reading up on the issue. You are probably going to be encouraged by what you find.

She has already proven that she is a flight risk so that will actually help you in bringing a motion to stop the move. But you better do the research and you better bring the motion to block the move - sooner than later.
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Old 09-28-2010, 11:57 PM
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Start by replying to her lawyer that she is free to move so long as she gives you the child.

Point out to her lawyer that she has already absconded with the child, and you will not permit her to remove the child again.

Then get your butt into court and make an application to prevent the child from leaving the country.
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Old 09-29-2010, 09:29 AM
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I would advise your ex that you are fine with her moving, but you object to your daughter moving and will not provide your consent.

Advise her that should she try to move with your child you will go to court and request a change in custody.

Quote:
I had her every other weekend, although, I haven't seen or spoken to my daughter since July 2010... she is suppose to provide me with resonable access to our daughter...
What is the reasoning behind not seeing your child right now? If your agreement provides for EOW, then you advise your ex that it is your intention to exercise your parenting time pursuant to your agreement and that your daughter should be ready for the parenting change at the prescribed time.

If there is no set schedule, I would advise your ex 1 week in advance that you intend on exercising your parenting time on the following weekend pursuant to your entitlements in your court order.

Oh, and do this all by email or letter. Don't call your ex and if she calls you, let it go to voicemail and respond by email.

And yes, at 12 the child will have a "voice" in court. However, a judge will determine how much of a voice based off of emotional maturity, mental maturity, external circumstances and reasoning for the child determination. Should you kid say "I want to move because mom says it will great for me" a judge is unlikely to order that the child can move.
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Old 10-01-2010, 01:59 PM
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Thankyou to all who replied to me... now... here's the latest...got another registered letter today stating from her lawyer that my daughter needs a US VISA to travel/move to the States and can't get it unless I sign her passport application b/c it expires within six months of needing the US VISA. The letter also states that my ex-wife wants to have my support payments raised due to the fact of her "extra travel expenses". Hah!!! Just when, you thought it couldn't get any better, eh? As sais before I have always paid her on time and I don't even get to see my daugter.... I really need some advice here... does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? Can I simply not sign and drag it out and make her take me back to court? That's certainly what I'm leaning toward doing. Please help!
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Old 10-01-2010, 02:12 PM
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ALSO... I have reason to believe that she forged my signature the last time she fled the country with our daughter.... if I don't sign her passport, what's to say my ex-wife won't forge my signature again??????
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Old 10-01-2010, 02:40 PM
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Have you done anything that was suggested in this thread previously?
If not I suggest that you go back and read it again. Here's the summary;

1. File a motion to stop her from moving with your daughter.
2. Read up on mobility in this forum and plenty of other sites.
3. Advise your ex (in writing) that you intend to excersize your Parenting Time as per your court order.

Are you prepared to have sole custody of your daughter if your ex is determined to move? Are you capable of providing a stable home for her full time? If so get moving! As you said yourself - what's to stop her from forging your signature again?
I think that maybe the most important thing here (trusting she doesn't leave the country illegally) is that you are going to have to start fighting to see your child. If months go by (you haven't seen her since July???) and you do nothing... what do you think that your child is thinking about you? I think that you should try to rebuild a solid relationship with her. If that means going to court and having mom held in contempt - or trying to change custody... you are going to have to do more to see your child - unless you are currently fighting for that and haven't mentioned it in this thread.
Good luck!
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Old 10-01-2010, 03:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoover View Post
Thankyou to all who replied to me... now... here's the latest...got another registered letter today stating from her lawyer that my daughter needs a US VISA to travel/move to the States and can't get it unless I sign her passport application b/c it expires within six months of needing the US VISA.
Advise the ex/lawyer that you are willing to consent to the signing the VISA for travel and vacation purposes, however that you will not consent to any move that causes the child to leave her current school district.

State that you also require that you be provided with a detailed iternary including contact numbers for the child (hotel or new boy-friends address and phone), flight carrier and flight number for both to and from, expected return date and what if any consideration you will with for lost parenting time, which you would require made up PRIOR to your scheduled/missed parenting time (ie. them taking their trip).

Quote:
The letter also states that my ex-wife wants to have my support payments raised due to the fact of her "extra travel expenses". Hah!!!
Not sure what he means here. Did one of you move recently that has caused the cost of exchanges to increase? If she moved, she should eat that cost. If you moved, you would have to eat it.

If he means for her choice to go visit her b/f in where ever the hell he is, tell them to get bent. You are not required to subsidize her choice of location of her new bed-buddy.

Quote:
As sais before I have always paid her on time and I don't even get to see my daugter
Advise them that you were not provided access for your daughter for X, Y and Z dates, and that prior to agreeing to signing anything you require make up time for such missed dates, and that you require your continued parenting to proceed in accordance with the agreement/order, as you will be attended the prescribed place on such exchange dates anticipating your daughter be provided.
  #10  
Old 10-01-2010, 04:46 PM
Hoover Hoover is offline
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I have been fighting since the day of our divorce! I don't know about you, but I don't have millions to be tied up court issues... I am tens od thoudands of dollars in debt from "fighting" the first time she left with her... haven't you learned yet that the father should apparenltly learn to bend over in court because incase you haven't noticed, the courts favor the mother's in most cases. I have a young family (second time around) including a three week old and can't afford to fight a loosing battle any longer! I know it sounds like I'm giving up on my eldest daughter but when you've lost once already... and the ex-wife has a father who opens his wallet for her lawyers bills I really can not compete! But, thanks for the recap.
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