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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #91  
Old 09-29-2019, 09:39 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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9 years! I've been at it for 6! I will be praying for you that tomorrow brings a favourable outcome. Please keep us posted. God is in control.
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  #92  
Old 10-03-2019, 10:59 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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Not sure if anyone is still following this but starting a new thread and explaining my story would be too time-consuming and I'm exhausted as it is. So I'm taking my chances here... I could use some advice...

The long motion was scheduled for tomorrow...since my ex-husband is deceased it cannot be heard "at this time" but the judge said he wants to "address the matter".

I finally found a lawyer that may be able to represent me but the earliest they could fit me in was Wednesday the 9th.

I didn't serve my motion material since the motion can't be heard as originally scheduled. I told his lawyer that I am seeking legal representation as there's been substantial changes and think it would put me at a disadvantage to serve her without legal advice.

Since he has passed she has:

1. She served me with an affidavit just 24 hours after his death.
2. Told me it would be legal advice to tell me who has current custody of my
children.
3. Asked me what my intention is regarding my Motion to Change
4. Told me that my motion material was expected on Sept 19th (the day after he
died) and threw this 15 days before the motion thing at me, which I couldn't
find anywhere but now know that long motions are to be responded to 15
days before. (She originally served me with a regular motion notice but r
realized she made a mistake and asked to adjourn it to a long motion date.
The short motion time to serve is 4 days before.)
5. Asked me if I will consent to an amendment of the Response to Motion to C
Change, to add a claim for child support.

And the very latest late this afternoon:

6. Urges me to consider settling this matter in order to end the litigation
7. provide some indication as to what a settlement would "look like" from my
point of view
8. asked if I intend to proceed with my Motion to Change
9. doesn't want the matter to remain in "limbo" so wants to make efficient use of Court time to move the matter forward.
10. plans to ask the court to make the following orders: appoint the "step-mother" in his place, appoint a lawyer from the OCL for my girls
11. Specify a deadline for me to serve my material
12. Asked me again if I will consent to the amendment for child support and said if I don't consent she will be serving an amended Response and amending their motion to seek child support.
13. asking the court to order me to provide a financial statement along with 3 years of tax returns and notices of assessments so they can deal with child support. (She already asked me a few weeks ago for 2018, 2017 Notice of assessments and already has 2014, 2015, 2017)

So I need help! What do I do tomorrow? What do I do tonight to prepare for tomorrow? When I responded to her I told her that I will be proceeding, I will be asking for sole custody, and that the "step-mother" standing in his place would be a bad idea after her threatening text. I also told her for the 3rd time that I have an appointment on Wednesday to get legal advice.

I swear she's trying to break me so I lose my mind and give up! I am losing my mind but I will not give up on my babies!
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  #93  
Old 10-03-2019, 11:04 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Go tomorrow and request an adjournment so you can retain legal representation. Not showing up tomorrow isnt going to help you any. Im certain you will get an adjournment but Id also want to know what the judge wants to discuss with you.


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  #94  
Old 10-03-2019, 11:24 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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I agree show up and listen to the Judge. I think the other lawyer is trying to bully you into a Consent Order to hand over custody of your girls (and their new-found money and now child support) because if you signed your parental rights away on Consent the Judge would probably not object.

So go to Court tomorrow and state you want sole custody, that you have the ability to provide stability for the girls as well as a relationship with their siblings and extended family, that you have attempted contact and received a response (have three copies of both your txt and the response).

Do NOT sign anything on Consent (except Final sole custody) - state you have an appointment on Wednesday with legal representation and give the Lawyers name. I really hope the Judge simply Orders sole custody as you have been requesting.

Any communication with the other lawyer just respond with my lawyer will respond after Wednesday. You will be stronger than her intimidation for your girls. The whole 15 days before the Motion is moot because the Motion is not being heard tomorrow - again, that lawyer is trying to confuse and overwhelm you so you make a bad decision in her clients favour (and also so the lawyer can get paid now her cash cow is dead).

Youve got this. Ill be thinking of you tomorrow.

Last edited by tilt; 10-03-2019 at 11:29 PM.
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  #95  
Old 10-03-2019, 11:28 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Go tomorrow and request an adjournment so you can retain legal representation. Not showing up tomorrow isnt going to help you any. Im certain you will get an adjournment but Id also want to know what the judge wants to discuss with you.


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There's no way I wouldn't be going tomorrow. I've got my mom and my fiance coming for support...and for protection if she decides to do something crazy as she said she would.
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  #96  
Old 10-03-2019, 11:33 PM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tilt View Post
Any communication with the other lawyer just respond with my lawyer will respond after Wednesday. You will be stronger than her intimidation for your girls. The whole 15 days before the Motion is moot because the Motion is not being heard tomorrow - again, that lawyer is trying to confuse and overwhelm you.
Is there not some kind of rule against lawyers intimidation and confusing unrepresented parties? I was sure I read that somewhere before but now that I'm looking for it I can't find it of course.
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  #97  
Old 10-03-2019, 11:34 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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Ideally, you want your text and her response to be attached to an affidavit you have sworn. The clerks can sign that you have sworn it, if you get there early enough. Good luck.
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  #98  
Old 10-03-2019, 11:39 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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Nope, lawyers DEFINITELY use intimidation and bullying. My spouses lawyer out right lied to me in a settlement meeting the judge Ordered and I called him on it and said I would request direction from the Judge. When we were in the courtroom and I asked for clarification stating my understading of the law vs my learned friend, the judge was EXTREMELY annoyed at the other lawyer (in that super subtle way that judge show disapproval). There are good lawyers out there, but there are also a lot of really sleazy, manipulative ones in Family Law, sadly.
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  #99  
Old 10-03-2019, 11:46 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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Also, stay focused tomorrow. Listen HARD to what the Judge is going to say and ask for clarification if you arent 100% sure. If he asks if you Consent to the step mom being added as a party, say no, and again state you have an upcoming meeting with a lawyer. Push for sole custody as the only biological parent as per the CLRA as it is in best interest of the children. If you have any connections with his side of the family (grandparents etc), mention them as well and emphasize that you wish to expand access to both sides of the family for the girls sake.
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  #100  
Old 10-04-2019, 12:05 AM
Mummaa222 Mummaa222 is offline
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Thank you! I have been trying to figure out how I get those texts to the judge and if I would be allowed to request custody since they've said the motion cannot be heard. An affidavit is exactly what I will do!

I'm so afraid I will start crying if I try to speak about my girls and their daddy, actually I already know I will, so an affidavit is probably the best way to get through it. I live just down the street from the courthouse so getting there early is not a problem!

Thanks so much!!!
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alienated, death, p.a.s., sole custody, step-mother


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