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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 02-25-2019, 11:19 AM
GreenGrass GreenGrass is offline
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Default Getting information about new common law partner

There is not final separation agreement and the ex has stated they have decided to move in with a new partner in the future.
There was no reason to tell me this unless it was to either upset me or to argue there was no material change in circumstances if/when they do this.

I went through the recent cases and read that if I said I intended to move in with someone before the final agreement and eventually did then I could not claim it as a material change in circumstance. This is a bit different because it would not me stating the intention.

There are other factors like the ex deciding they don't need to work if they have another partner with a paycheck coming in etc.

What should I be asking to have put into the final separation agreement now in order to protect myself on the material change item?

This relationship of the ex's may have been going on for years. They may even have a criminal record, smoke, be abusive, I don't know this person and it would mean my children living with them. What disclosure can be obtained?
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Old 02-25-2019, 11:51 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Okay - I'm definitely getting a whiff of uber high-conflict from your posts.

Could you not simply *ask* your ex about her current partner?


As to the first part of your question...huh? What are you trying to do? Establish that a new partner down the line is NOT a material change...or the opposite?
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Old 02-25-2019, 12:18 PM
GreenGrass GreenGrass is offline
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They don't want me to ask.
No, I can't just ask and even if I did I would not know if they are telling me the truth. They and their lawyer are unbelievable difficult and most everything coming from them has been false and has been easily disproved or unbelievable. They say one thing and write down a different thing.

First part of my question:
I want to take care of it now because they might argue later on that it is not a material change.
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Old 02-25-2019, 12:22 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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You have zero say in who your ex lives with... you have zero right in obtaining any information on your exs new partner. They are your ex, you no longer get a say in their personal life. If the ex has access to the children then obviously the ex is not a harm to the child and thus can make their own decisions in who they have around the children.

Not really clear on what you want to put in your agreement regarding new partners being a material change but if your worried about the ex not working because of a new spouse state that cs will always be based on minimum of $X amount regardless if they are working or not.

My cousin had it put in her agreement that her ex would pay CS based on a minimum of $104,000 regardless of if he showed he made less. Hes owns his own real estate business and his average before separation was actually $120k but the year of separation he only showed making $80k, so this protected her from her ex putting money in his new partners name


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Old 02-25-2019, 12:26 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Your exs personal life is non of your business.

If you have offset cs, you will have to update annually and if your ex decides to stop working then you can simply argue you wont accept that change in income as a material change and then they can take it to court.

If you pay spousal then you should have a clause in there about repartnering.
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Old 02-25-2019, 12:32 PM
GreenGrass GreenGrass is offline
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The OCL would care and interview that person wouldn't they and if they did not shouldn't they have?

This other person and my ex may have been presenting themselves as a couple for years before the separation. Would this matter?

I will admit there is also a small factor of me wanting the truth to be out there and my ex not being able to hide all the bad things she has done.
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Old 02-25-2019, 12:32 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenGrass View Post
There are other factors like the ex deciding they don't need to work if they have another partner with a paycheck coming in etc.
If ex's income goes down, get income imputed to her.

Quote:
This relationship of the ex's may have been going on for years.
I'm going to guess that this is the real problem you have with it

Quote:
They may even have a criminal record, smoke, be abusive, I don't know this person and it would mean my children living with them. What disclosure can be obtained?
None.

Mom is a custodial parent. Custodial parents get to decide which adults get to be around their children. That's part of the job of being a parent.

You get to do the same. Feel free to hook up with that stripper down the street with spacers and facial tattoos who dropped out of high school and now has her own online webcam porn empire, it won't matter.

Also, if mom told you that new partner has a criminal record and (gasp) smokes, it still would not matter, because as the custodial parent she has decided that this adult gets to be around your child.

Summary: You have no rights to know anything about the new boyfriend. Enjoy.
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Old 02-25-2019, 12:52 PM
GreenGrass GreenGrass is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
I'm going to guess that this is the real problem you have with it
While a legit guess it is not correct.
When someone does you wrong, yes it would be good to know the story but my concern is simply about the kids and financial.

The ex is capable but not working right now. Hasn't for 4 years but went back to school again for a new career, I don't know if they will finish. They already have a university degree. I don't see them working especially if they have me and someone else supporting them.

Their lifestyle and standard of living will be significantly higher than mine with them using me as a second income to supplement it or the same as mine with them sitting on the couch and me working.
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Old 02-25-2019, 12:55 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenGrass View Post
While a legit guess it is not correct.
When someone does you wrong, yes it would be good to know the story but my concern is simply about the kids and financial.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenGrass View Post
I will admit there is also a small factor of me wanting the truth to be out there and my ex not being able to hide all the bad things she has done.
You sound like you have the means...have you done some therapy?
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Old 02-25-2019, 01:16 PM
GreenGrass GreenGrass is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
You sound like you have the means...have you done some therapy?
I think you missed something.
The relationship going on for years is not my real problem with the new person. I can't care about the ex.
I really care about my kids and our future.
It hurts that my ex can expose the kids to whoever and whatever but if that is what I am stuck with I am.

The problem is material change in circumstance.

Here is another scenario. The other person has kids and my ex says that she can't work because she has their partners kids to look after 5 days a week.

I am trying to protect myself and kids here.
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