Confused

[FPI]

I been asking my ex to ask her lawyer if he practises Colobrative Law, So we could avoid going to court. Yesterday I called her and asked her why her lawyer is calling mine. I spoke to my lawyer earlier and she said she wan't able to get a hold of my ex's lawyer. My ex told me she asked her lawyer too arrange a four way meeting? Im not sure what to do, the last time we did this nothing came of it other than I had to pay $2500.00 in lawyer fees. I have a Case Conference scheduled for February 22. My ex said she will not cancel the date since she does not want to go through another year of battling, she wants her MONEY. I just would like your opinion would you attend this four way meeting? I just feel she may be up to something.

[Grace]

If you are not in court do what you can to keep it that way. Use mediation, use a collaborative lawyer, talk between yourselves, call upon a religious advisor. Once you are in court, you are like a passenger in a car. You want to go somewhere and you’re giving directions, but someone else is driving. You do, however, have to pay for the gas.

[FPI]

Thanks Grace , I agree with you I really don't want to end up in court, However, I'm only eight days away from it. As I said before my ex wants to aranage a four way meeting before that day. I just feel since the two of us don't talk at all it might end up costing a few more thousand dollars for this meeting and nothing might get resolved since court is so close. I would love to solve everything but thier are so many issues in my seperation.
I will be talking to my lawyer tomorrow and see what she recommends. Most likely if my lawyer has time this week I will agree to it, I just hope I'm, not damaging my case.

[Jeff]

I do think you should try the 4-way meeting. The costs of court are so high that even if there is a small chance of settling, these sorts of meetings are normally worthwhile.

I don't think that there would be a lot of extra legal fees for the 4-way meeting, other than the time the actual meeting occurs. If you have a case conference scheduled a day or two after the meeting, your lawyer would need to do much of the same preparation for the case conference as for the 4-way meeting, so there really wouldn't be a waste of effort even if the 4-way meeting turns out to be useles. And once you're at the meeting itself, you'll know pretty quickly whether it's going to be productive or not.

[Jeff]

If you are not in court do what you can to keep it that way. Use mediation, use a collaborative lawyer, talk between yourselves, call upon a religious advisor. Once you are in court, you are like a passenger in a car. You want to go somewhere and you’re giving directions, but someone else is driving. You do, however, have to pay for the gas.

That's a great analogy!

[FPI]

Thanks Jeff for your input. I will contact my lawyer tomorrow and hope that she has time to have a four way meeting. She is a very busy women, one of the top lawyers in Peel Region, Ontario. I hope she somehow can make time this week.
I just want to compliment you on your Web Page. It has been very useful for me in a great deal. I also have recieved much support from other member's.
People like you give me and I'm sure other's a desire to go on with our lifes even though we are facing the greatest loss ever.
God Bless.

[hubby]

That's a great analogy!

I'll second that!

Hubby

[FPI]

M lawyer told me since the Case Conference is next Wednesday, The four way meeting my ex wants to have this week may be difficult to do. She is a very busy Lawyer. She recommends that we try to settle at the Case Conference. What should I do? I'm affraid the Case Confernece may turn into a battle field. With my being the first causalty. I'm getting very nervous..