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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11  
Old 11-12-2021, 10:19 AM
ifonlyihadknown ifonlyihadknown is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sshan View Post
Hi,
...there lawyer is not agreeing for a end date ...
SSHAN
Don't believe a word of what their lawyer says. They are paid to screw you over.

Find your own lawyer, at least to get an idea of what a "fair" settlement would be and go from there. Once you know what a fair settlement would add up to, compare it to what your ex is offering and determine if it makes sense to just pay her off. Or to counter offer and save some money.
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  #12  
Old 11-12-2021, 01:28 PM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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How old r kids?

Could be longer because needs of children
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  #13  
Old 11-12-2021, 03:24 PM
sshan sshan is offline
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Hi ifonlyihadknown ,

There are not ready for an end date but they wanted to review it in 2.6 years for 6 years marriage but my concern is my ex is deliberately not working more than the basic salary and I'm wondering how long will I pay as the divorcemate calculation says from 3.25 years to 14 years.

I'm also paying in mid range and 1 year is completed so no idea as whether to go for trial or agree to 2.6 years review and then go back to to the court for an end date?

KKC,

My son is 6 years old and i'm paying the full child support and my ex took off from the place where she lived and moved to another city which 75 kms from my place and there are not in a position to give my son for long weekends, summer vacation etc holidays and I offered to settle but my ex is not willing to settle and she wants to have my son every 2 weekend only. No mid week and no holidays so wondering whether to take the spousal support along with the child for trial . Your thoughts will be highly appreciated.

Note : No notice was provided by my ex while moving and the status quota is not yet established.

Regards

SSHAN
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  #14  
Old 11-12-2021, 06:19 PM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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My thoughts...her moving away like that was horseshit
I'm sorry that happened

I would try to settle fast of the other side has any sense of reasonableness
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  #15  
Old 11-16-2021, 10:10 AM
ifonlyihadknown ifonlyihadknown is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sshan View Post
Hi ifonlyihadknown ,
I'm wondering how long will I pay as the divorcemate calculation says from 3.25 years to 14 years.
Have you read the SSAG? If you haven't, you should.

7.5 The Formula for Duration
As with amount, duration under the without child support formula increases with the length of marriage. Subject to the provisions for indefinite support (duration not specified), the formula generates ranges for duration with the ends of the ranges determined as follows:
  • a minimum duration of half the length of the marriage and
  • a maximum duration of the length of the marriage.


All the more reason, if you haven't already, to get some independent legal advice. A good family lawyer should be able to give you a ballpark idea of how things are likely to shake out.
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  #16  
Old 11-16-2021, 05:47 PM
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mafia007 mafia007 is offline
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What the HELL is all that crap?

For a marriage lasting only a bit over 6 years there shouldn't be any spousal support at all! The hell say no and let her bring this to court if she wants to. The onus would be on her side to convince the judge that she is entitle to that support. You can prove on your side that you did your share to help her to achieve that goal for the year you have paid but that is enough.

You gave her a year already, that's enough to settle an be self-sufficient. Is she young? Does she has health issues for not working? Does she has a degree? What kind of education? Experience? Did she and where she worked before? Have she had made any effort to find a job lately? (job search, interviews, letters of acknowledgment from employers, letters from employers confirming the status of the job following the interview)

You are self-represented as I did for my case. I said no to her asking 700$/month and I won my case for a 15 years of marriage.

STOP paying right now and show that you already help her enough.

Look at the following rules concerning short marriage. (less than 20 years) and the rule 65.

https://www.separation.ca/help-centr...e-spousal-sup/

https://hoflaw.com/spousal-support-m...s-of-20-years/

Build up your case with those information. Don't forget that after SS is ordered, it is a pain in the ass to have it reviewed later on and more pain in the ass to have it removed. Google on spousal support with key words and get as much as direction to justify your position just then. Look at the factors for long term marriage for comparison.

Do not rely only on the SSAG. Those are only a tool for a first point to start off.

https://justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/fl-l...g/toc-tdm.html

Remember that each case are unique and treated as case by case.

Most of the errors the poster will make is accepting the offer being proposed by the OP. Remember that the offer made by the lawyer of your ex-partner is to accommodate his client only. Not you. He doesn't work for you, he represent the other side only.
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  #17  
Old 11-17-2021, 02:27 PM
ottawaparent ottawaparent is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mafia007 View Post
What the HELL is all that crap?

For a marriage lasting only a bit over 6 years there shouldn't be any spousal support at all! The hell say no and let her bring this to court if she wants to. The onus would be on her side to convince the judge that she is entitle to that support. You can prove on your side that you did your share to help her to achieve that goal for the year you have paid but that is enough.

You gave her a year already, that's enough to settle an be self-sufficient. Is she young? Does she has health issues for not working? Does she has a degree? What kind of education? Experience? Did she and where she worked before? Have she had made any effort to find a job lately? (job search, interviews, letters of acknowledgment from employers, letters from employers confirming the status of the job following the interview)

You are self-represented as I did for my case. I said no to her asking 700$/month and I won my case for a 15 years of marriage.

STOP paying right now and show that you already help her enough.

Look at the following rules concerning short marriage. (less than 20 years) and the rule 65.

https://www.separation.ca/help-centr...e-spousal-sup/

https://hoflaw.com/spousal-support-m...s-of-20-years/

Build up your case with those information. Don't forget that after SS is ordered, it is a pain in the ass to have it reviewed later on and more pain in the ass to have it removed. Google on spousal support with key words and get as much as direction to justify your position just then. Look at the factors for long term marriage for comparison.

Do not rely only on the SSAG. Those are only a tool for a first point to start off.

https://justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/fl-l...g/toc-tdm.html

Remember that each case are unique and treated as case by case.

Most of the errors the poster will make is accepting the offer being proposed by the OP. Remember that the offer made by the lawyer of your ex-partner is to accommodate his client only. Not you. He doesn't work for you, he represent the other side only.
Just curious how you argued and won your case on SS for a marriage of 15 years. On a face value, 15 years looks like a slam dunk for SS receiver. That must have been a feat. Do you have thread on that?
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  #18  
Old 11-17-2021, 03:22 PM
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mafia007 mafia007 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ottawaparent View Post
Just curious how you argued and won your case on SS for a marriage of 15 years. On a face value, 15 years looks like a slam dunk for SS receiver. That must have been a feat. Do you have thread on that?
No i don't have a thread on that as I joined the forum only at the stage where i had a hard time to have access to my kids and my share of property.

Under 20 years is called a small marriage, so 15 it is. What everyone should know is that SS is not granted and if there is a good reason to challenge it, then it should as the payor might be stuck with this for life. The other thing, in court you can always ask the judge in the alternative it is ordered, to be temporary until she settle, reviewed in XX months, gradually reduced... anything to show that you are not willing to pay for the rest of your life.

My case was with children. The equation always put priority to CS and then SS. So basically, there was no other room for SS after CS was paid including all the other factors that make my ex-spouse to request 700$ a months an unreasonnable demand.

Accepting to pay SS out of a court order is pretty risky and might tigh you for long. Even though there is conditions. If you go that route, i would suggest you take your agreement you have settled with lawyers' advice and convert it into an order that you will request the Register of the Court to approve it by a judge. This way, the conditions you have advanced will be in concrete and hard for the other party to argue it in the future.
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  #19  
Old 11-17-2021, 03:37 PM
ottawaparent ottawaparent is offline
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Good to know- What everyone should know is that SS is not granted When you say no other room for SS after CS was paid. I guess that is because your income, if any SS was ordered would have left you in disadvantage for meeting basic needs and or would have made your ex having significant more income than you? Was your ex working at all in the 15 years, did that play a role in your argument of no SS?
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  #20  
Old 11-17-2021, 04:06 PM
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mafia007 mafia007 is offline
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That's the thing. She had her own business at home and was deducting every expenses of the house to lower her income down from 40K to 13K. Did not make any sense and the godam SSAG was favouring her a good range of SS.

So I had to argue with the judge that the expenses she was deducting from her revenue were also expenses I was to pay from my net revenue for my own house. Also, a portion of the CS is suppose to go towards such expenses of her house to the benefit of the children. Adding several other arguments I had pointed previously helped me to win my case.

Just to say that you point something else very important. You must show that at the end, each of you are about or around the same financial level of leaving. If one is showing a disadvantage in meeting basic needs, the onus reside on their side to prove it.
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