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samej · #1 01-18-2022, 06:48 PM

Hello,

I gather from reading that it is common to have a child responsible for 1/3 of their post secondary expenses. In my separation agreement I am entirely responsible for the remaining 2/3.

Can I choose to pay more of my child's education? They are in co-op and have income, but I am well off and would like her to save her money to give her a leg up in her transition to work life, where, due to her chosen profession, she is very likely going to need to have a car.

I've suggested she keep 80% of what she earns and contribute 20% to her education while I cover everything else.

I am concerned that my ex will argue that I must pay only 2/3 in order to receive higher spousal support, which is re-calculated annually.

Your experiences and options are appreciated

rockscan · #2 01-18-2022, 07:28 PM

Are you paying your ex the money or your kid? If it�s the kid then don�t worry. Your ex would have to argue entitlement and just because you paid extra for your kid doesn�t equal entitlement.

Janus · #3 01-18-2022, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samej

I am concerned that my ex will argue that I must pay only 2/3 in order to receive higher spousal support, which is re-calculated annually.

Spousal support is your ex's money. You want to use that money to pay for your child's education. In other words, your ex pays for the education, but you get the credit for spending the money.

Now, if SS stays the same and you want to cover all of the education, nobody is going to stop you. I don't think you're trying to be generous here though, I think you would just rather give money to your kid than your ex.

Janus · #4 01-18-2022, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

Are you paying your ex the money or your kid? If it�s the kid then don�t worry. Your ex would have to argue entitlement and just because you paid extra for your kid doesn�t equal entitlement.

I think what he is going to try to argue is that because he is paying extra for the education, he needs to pay less than the calculated amount of spousal support. The ex already seems to be getting SS that is determined based on income each year... unusual but allowed.

So, if the calculation for SS was $2000 a month, but he is paying $3000 "extra" in tuition per year, he wants his SS reduced by $250 a month, so he only has to pay $1750.

I could be wrong, we will see by the replies

samej · #5 01-19-2022, 03:39 PM

Janus captures the core of the matter. I have a highly variable income and spousal support is recalculated every year with DivorceMate using my ex's income, my income and university costs as inputs - objective and verifiable by both parties.

My paying for more than the usual and customer 2/3 of education would reduce spousal support for the years my daughter in higher ed.

The non-legal background - I am in a new blended family and my step daughter is being covered for 100% for her post secondary expenses and my wife and I feel it unfair that my daughter not receive the same benefit.

I take the position that there is a benefit to the child and spousal support will rebound after university. This is not a case of my trying to avoid support but a valid cost I am bearing during university years.

rockscan · #6 01-19-2022, 04:38 PM

Unless you are willing to not count the extra you pay to kid you could do it. Or you could leave it and then buy kid a car when they are done.

It isn�t fair when you compare the kids BUT they are both different families with different circumstances even if you are now blended.

pinkHouses · #7 01-20-2022, 10:28 AM

Simply ask that the separation agreement be updated to reflect you will be paying 100% for schooling costs; blend it with a few other updates.
Maybe they agree.

rockscan · #8 01-20-2022, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkHouses

Simply ask that the separation agreement be updated to reflect you will be paying 100% for schooling costs; blend it with a few other updates.
Maybe they agree.

He already said she won�t agree as it impacts her spousal.

StillPaying · #9 01-20-2022, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samej

I am in a new blended family and my step daughter is being covered for 100% for her post secondary expenses and my wife and I feel it unfair that my daughter not receive the same benefit.

There's nothing stopping you from helping out your child. Follow your agreement with your ex, spend less elsewhere and pay 100% of school. Everyone would prefer to pay their kids instead of their ex - but no.

Janus · #10 01-21-2022, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samej

My paying for more than the usual and customer 2/3 of education would reduce spousal support for the years my daughter in higher ed.

You have a small, but fundamental misunderstanding. The money that you give as spousal support is not your money, it is your ex's money.

Imagine if your ex decided to buy your kid a car, and then said that spousal support had to increase because she had spent more money on the kid. Does that sound reasonable to you? Of course not, your ex does not decide how you spend your money, and you don't get to decide how to spend hers.

If your ex wants to spend more on education, then she can... but you don't get to take her money and spend it for her.

Quote:

The non-legal background - I am in a new blended family and my step daughter is being covered for 100% for her post secondary expenses and my wife and I feel it unfair that my daughter not receive the same benefit.

Again, let's flip the situation. Imagine that your ex has a new stepkid, and stepkid's biodad gives her $1000/month allowance (on top of child support, he's a great guy). Can your ex decide that spousal support should increase by $1000/month so that your kid and her stepkid can both get this $1000/month allowance?

Again, a big part of being divorced is that you make financial decisions independently. Spousal support muddies the water a bit in that you might think that it is your money, but it is not.

Quote:

I take the position that there is a benefit to the child and spousal support will rebound after university. This is not a case of my trying to avoid support but a valid cost I am bearing during university years.

Back to the car example. If you ex took the position that the increase in spousal support would only be for five years (until the car was paid off), would that be acceptable? This is not a case of her trying to increase support, but rather a valid cost that she is bearing during the childrearing years.

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