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arabian · #11 01-13-2016, 10:04 PM

Regarding you being late ....

make sure you always communicate with your ex via email.

I don't think it's kosher for her to deny you access because you're late, particularly because of travel/distance.

I was married to a very crafty ahole but fortunately didn't have to deal with child custody stuff. From what I've read on here DOCUMENTATION IS ESSENTIAL. "he said/she said" doesn't stand up in court. Your the male so courts automatically nowadays think your're a deadbeat. You have to have an impeccable, provable record of everything. Never leave yourself open for false accusations. CYA (cover your ass) in all things.

bmw1122 · #12 01-13-2016, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone

You seem to be making the issue of her belongings very complicated. Surely you can tell the difference between her clothes and yours....?

I was away last year in the US. She was at her parents. Nothing had happend then.
She came by 2-3 times and took many of her items. That is why I don't know what she means by that because she's already taken her stuff. There's old clothes that I want to give her, but she's making it seem like she's never come and has left everything there.
I just want to make sure there isn't anything I keep that she'll accuse me of. Tbh, i have no right over her stuff. I simply do not want it.

bmw1122 · #13 01-13-2016, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arabian

When I kicked my ex out of the house and changed the security codes I made sure that I removed all of his personal property and put it in a location that he could easily retrieve (there was alot of stuff).

Shortly thereafter (within a few weeks) I received a call from the police department. My ex had filed a report that I was denying him his personal property. I was astounded. Turned out that my ex's g/f had personal property in one of the trucks (we owned a trucking company) in one of the big rigs. Police made ex make a detailed list of the alleged property and I had to make sure that he received it. The "property" what my ex determined to be "sentimental" tools as well as children's articles (he had a young girlfriend LOL). It was insane really. However I had to comply. The children's toys and the old tools from a toolbox in a particular semi were made available to him. My 60 year old ex got his stuff and it cost me probably in the range of 2k for me to make these arrangements through my lawyer (I was a newby to divorce).

Give her the shit and don't look back - advice from an old warrior.

Thank you its very informative. That is what she is actually doing. Just saying "hey can i come tomorrow and pick up the stuff".
All I did was say its such a short notice, i can bring it on a weekday. She replies that I'm denying her and she will contact her lawyer etc.

Should I take pictures and document it ? That these are the items I'm giving.
She visited me last year when I was in the US and left her suitcase because she was on standby and the flight she got there was no luggage space. She just simply left her luggage in the US and i don't want her to claim those things because I don't have them. all she owned is women's generic clothing, burqas etc

bmw1122 · #14 01-13-2016, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arabian

Regarding you being late ....

make sure you always communicate with your ex via email.

I don't think it's kosher for her to deny you access because you're late, particularly because of travel/distance.

I was married to a very crafty ahole but fortunately didn't have to deal with child custody stuff. From what I've read on here DOCUMENTATION IS ESSENTIAL. "he said/she said" doesn't stand up in court. Your the male so courts automatically nowadays think your're a deadbeat. You have to have an impeccable, provable record of everything. Never leave yourself open for false accusations. CYA (cover your ass) in all things.

I do text her while on the way that I've left and if there's a jam, I keep updating her. Or there's an accident.
I see what you mean though, things are already stacking up and its best to try to everything properly. Appreciate the tips

arabian · #15 01-13-2016, 10:47 PM

Hope you are paying the appropriate amount of child support. If not, get that up-to-date asap. Others on here can give advice about it.

Hope everything works out for you. Remember that everything has a consequence. Beware of knee-jerk reactions which may feel good at the time.... you will surely pay for them in the end.

bmw1122 · #16 01-13-2016, 10:56 PM

I am paying monthly whatever I can. Since I don't have an income right now due to my injury. my injury maybe maybe severe?, I was paralyzed half way down in the beginning. But i have my limbs at least.
I'm on OW and have applied for ODSP. I guess I'll settle for whatever they court says, not keeping alota hope.
I really want to cover my bases. Not take shortcuts.

arabian · #17 01-13-2016, 11:09 PM

Perhaps look at retraining? You must live in Ontario - seems many people who can't get work are on ODSP....

You live at home with your folks so you should have some money to pay towards the kids. You have money to be able to drive 1 1/2 hrs to see your kids so you should be paying something on a regular basis (government cheques come to you on a regular basis don't they?).

Sorry about your injury but you have to realize now that the courts don't give a shit about you, rather what is in the best interest of the children. You can drive a vehicle so you are employable IMO. Stats Canada is looking for people to work on the census. Check it out online. You can do the work even if you are disabled. pay is 16 - 19 /hr.

Or sit on ODSP for the rest of your life. Whatever.

bmw1122 · #18 01-14-2016, 01:36 AM

..... Duplicated accidentally.... edited same as message below

bmw1122 · #19 01-14-2016, 01:37 AM

Well. I'm fighting with my employer to let me work, they're saying bases on the medical report doctors have said I can't do the job.
So I've been asking to work from home or something. I want to work don't get me wrong.
Medically I can't sit in a car for more than 10 minutes, I'm not supposed sit in a car. I have a spinal injury, if I were to drive for even 20 minutes. My foot goes numb.
So I'm adhering to whatever she's saying.
ow kicked in less than a month ago. So I was paying from my savings which are gone and now by borrowing from friends and family.

I did give an offer even with minimal access time. I said even to give her sole custody . I want to be involved in my sons life but what I read from others online I've given up hope. My lawyer said there's no reason for me to give sole custody since there isn't any police reports, psychological issues etc. so she's rejected that. she basically
Wants sole custody.

Berner_Faith · #20 01-14-2016, 07:18 AM

Wait, so you can't sit in a car for 10 min but are driving 3 hours round trip? How do you manage that?

If you're on OW you may not have to pay a thing, check with your lawyer on that one. Until a doctor medically clears you to work your employer won't let you work. You are to big of a risk to the company. If you get hurt on the job they are liable. Arabian is right, look at retraining. OW will help you with that. OW has all sorts of programs to assist with retraining.

Who moved the 1.5 hours away after separation? Don't take this the wrong way, but with a spinal injury, one that means you can't sit or work, how can you effectively parent your child? It wouldn't seem like you would be able to pick him up? Do you have assistance on your parenting time?

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