I'm having such a time with scheduling access, my ex is only communicating and deciding with our 9 year when they visit one another. This is awful but so typical of him - he refuses to communicate via communications book - forget speaking, he's hostile unless it's to cancel - why can't the first thing be about schedules - why does it have to be so tied up with the financials and everything. How is this any good for the child. She is so nervous about giving me the message (I don't react - at least not when she's around) but come on she's not an idiot and this inconsistency is awful. Let's not forget he introduces her to his girlfriend and her parents within a couple of months of splitting up, their friends are of questionable morals (swingers, heavy drinkers etc - I'm so not making this up since I've known them for years and didn't hang out with them for those reasons) - most visits with the 2 of them are always with other people i.e. watching the hockey game etc..
I'm so worried about her - she's so angry. Therapy is not an option - I had her in it but she didn't want to go anymore - The therapist was asking hard questions - her dad all of a sudden had a problem with it - he blames everyone for his problems - she didn't want to spend overnights with him - it's a mess.
I try to ensure she has her play dates, our time together (boardgames, girl talk, shopping, walks), supporting her by reminding her about her homework, responsibilities about helping out - that kind of stuff. We never talk about her dad, I don't question her. But I'm so afraid, she's stressed, she's always been super sensitive I can tell, she's biting her nails, edgy.
Is this normal behaviour? I made a decision to bring a child into this world after a lot of thought and planning and understanding but I feel so helpless. I think the first step would be a schedule with less confusion and consistency - but how am I suppose to do this when litigation is so slow and everything is tied to financials and what's my rights and stuff?
am I making any sense?
I'm so worried about her - she's so angry. Therapy is not an option - I had her in it but she didn't want to go anymore - The therapist was asking hard questions - her dad all of a sudden had a problem with it - he blames everyone for his problems - she didn't want to spend overnights with him - it's a mess.
I try to ensure she has her play dates, our time together (boardgames, girl talk, shopping, walks), supporting her by reminding her about her homework, responsibilities about helping out - that kind of stuff. We never talk about her dad, I don't question her. But I'm so afraid, she's stressed, she's always been super sensitive I can tell, she's biting her nails, edgy.
Is this normal behaviour? I made a decision to bring a child into this world after a lot of thought and planning and understanding but I feel so helpless. I think the first step would be a schedule with less confusion and consistency - but how am I suppose to do this when litigation is so slow and everything is tied to financials and what's my rights and stuff?
am I making any sense?
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