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  • Mediation question

    For those that tried mediation.

    Did it work for you? Was it cheaper or more expensive than court? How many meetings did it take to come to an agreement for you?
    Still considering all options here.

  • #2
    If the two of you are amiciacable to each other it well work I believe. but if you both are hard headed and cant compromise it wont work. Our first mediation lasted 3hours and accomplished nothing.

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    • #3
      I would say that it really depends on how big a gap there is between what you want and what your Ex wants. Personally I think it's a waste of time. If neither of you is willing to compromise, it probably won't do you any good.

      Though if you can settle all issues without having to go to court you will save a truckload of money and Prozac. Give it a shot - see how it goes.

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      • #4
        Mine dosent care about money. she figure it grows on trees. It's always a great Idea to try and save. thats the whole Idea behind mediation. and of course emotional roller coster and the fighting. And when thats all said and done SLEEPING again.

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        • #5
          Did you go to pre-mediation meeting? If so did you go separately or together? And did emotions run high during mediation? If so do the mediators do anything about it? Can I bring a supportive person with me to mediation just in case I need emotional support?

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          • #6
            Janibel...Prozac lol!

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            • #7
              Childrenandhappy...if you don't mind me asking how many hours total did you do mediation before realizing mediation wasn't going to work? Mediation prices i got so far are not cheap! Cheaper than court I suppose but im afraid to waste money and time on one angle to only have to go another after.

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              • #8
                Total of six hours. Are you two able to talk. if you two can work things out right now without out fighting. I would say do mediation. but if you cant talk right now and disagree on everything then you are wasting your time.

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                • #9
                  We are talking right now, well we really haven't discussed much about money and assets just mostly about the kids. I don't foresee much arguing re as seats and money (hopefully) but im afraid that we might argue about the kids. It was a situation that involved the kids that made us separate. It's a touchy situation.

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                  • #10
                    *Assets not *as seats...getting late!

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                    • #11
                      This thread is a timely one for me. Spouse and I can't get by how to deal with the matrimonial home. Spouse wants half and then an equal amount in recognition of her blood, sweat and tears making the house a home. She won't discuss any other issue until I agree.

                      I'm willing to consider her request provided it's part of a wider package.

                      Right now, I'm super keen on trying mediation. I think it will save time and money, and avoid the use of Prozac And, I hope by speaking with a third party spouse might come around to seeing her request as without merit - IMHO.

                      Spouse says a mediator is a waste of time.

                      I've been waiting for a change of heart on her part for two weeks. My inclination is to be patient. Thoughts?

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                      • #12
                        Mediation didn't work for us as we are polar opposites as to how to split the marital pie. Later we had to go to a settlement conference were a judge gave her recommendations as to how a trial judge would probably rule - her opinion was very close to what I had suggested from the get-go.

                        Unfortunately the STBX and his (3rd) lawyer wanted nothing to do with it. So now we are headed to trial - more expense, more waiting for a clean break. Paying for yet another judge to basically decide what could have been accomplished 2 years ago.

                        There's no negotiating with a person who thinks 'my way or the highway'.
                        Being patient can be expensive ....
                        Last edited by Janibel; 01-13-2015, 04:16 PM.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Mike62 View Post
                          This thread is a timely one for me. Spouse and I can't get by how to deal with the matrimonial home. Spouse wants half and then an equal amount in recognition of her blood, sweat and tears making the house a home. She won't discuss any other issue until I agree.

                          I'm willing to consider her request provided it's part of a wider package.

                          Right now, I'm super keen on trying mediation. I think it will save time and money, and avoid the use of Prozac And, I hope by speaking with a third party spouse might come around to seeing her request as without merit - IMHO.

                          Spouse says a mediator is a waste of time.

                          I've been waiting for a change of heart on her part for two weeks. My inclination is to be patient. Thoughts?
                          Just speaking #s between spousal support, pension and the house can you afford to give her the house for free?

                          You can agree to perhaps pay her "in spousal support" the other half of the house so it becomes tax deductible?

                          Lower upfront sum, higher monthly payments - more tax deductions.

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                          • #14
                            I sent an email to Ex a week ago introducing idea of mediation. Today finally I get a response. He wants to take bio mom to mediation. I replied saying I don't feel comfortable with her coming. Now we are arguing back and forth over everything else. I've since stopped responding but now I'm wondering if mediation will just be a waste of time amd money. If the bio mom wasn't involved so much we wouldn't be arguing at all!! Our conversation via email wasn't even about money and assets or the kids just about her! If only we can get passed this perhaps we can just 50/50 everything and just move on! Im not asking for anything extra for taking 4 years of my life and staying in the home to raise HIS kids just that we split it down the middle. But he wants more!
                            Links17....im taking the patient route. Im still hoping mediation will work. If only he realizes that bio mom has nothing to do with this!

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                            • #15
                              Another question. Mediation package says no witnesses are allowed so can my ex bring bio mom for meeting that does not involve kids?

                              Comment

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