Wasnt sure which thread to post to. Apologies if this is the wrong one.
For one year, I didn't pay C/S. I now know i should have and scared I will now lose my kids.
Reason I didnt pay:
-She moved out of our home while i was away with our 3 kids (aged 10-14) and then denied me access.-She "told" me when I could see the kids, which was Fri, Sat and Sun and every second Wednesday. 4/14 days. I wanted to see the kids on a 50-50 schedule (Mon - Sunday every second week.) She said no. So I showed up at school or at her house when I believed the kids should be with me and everytime I showed up she denied me access by locking doors or running to car. Not good, so I stopped showing up as not to cause more chaos for kids. My belief, for not paying, whether wrong or right, was that the kids should be with me 50% of the time, so if she was having a hard time financially paying for the kids, all she had to do was drop the kids off. I want my kids 50% of time. I have zero say in parenting decisions (i.e she does what she wants whether I agree or not for example she allows my 14 yr old to have sleep overs with his GF which i COMPLETELY disagree with!). I cant do homework with my kids, or make lunches, or take them to their sporting events. I have no say in any of their upbringing. I have a close family and we all live within 30km of each other and the only people missing now from holiday events are my 3 kids. They miss out playing with their cousins and seeing their grandparents and aunts and uncles. I'm devastated. From the outside, I now understand that it appears as though I didnt want to pay child support but that is not the case. I didnt want to pay her to watch my kids when I was readily available to care for them. I felt as though she was asking me to pay some sort of "babysitting" fee which I felt was not necessary because I was and still am available 7 days of the week to care for them. She won't let me see my kids for more than 4/14 days and then demands I pay support. I now regret that I didnt go to a lawyer the day she moved out. I have let the situation be status quo for 1 year now because I really thought she would eventually let me see my kids. Now, I know that will never happen. I never thought my ex would be this cruel and its taken me a full year to realize but now i fear i sat for too long and did nothing. I dont know where to start now with legal proceedings. I know court will take a long time and im just starting to learn about it but what I do now? I am going to pay her the money I owe for the past year, but how do i get more time with my kids going foward? 4 days is NOT enough. I want 7/14 days or 6/14 at the very minimum. How to I get her to make the kids come and see me? Do I have to stay in this 4 day situation until we get to court. Every day the kids stay with her is another day she manipulates them. Is there anyway to get a court or judge to tell her to STOP talking to the kids about our seperation ( we were never married but were common law for 15 years). She tells the kids that I will pick them up and never take them home again (this is what my daughter told me). I have a GF now and she tells them that daddy doesnt want to be with the kids, he only wants to be with his GF. she should not be allowed to say things like that. Is there any chance a judge will still allow me to see my kids even though i failed to pay her the money she wanted every month over the last year. She has retained a lawyer and keeps telling me that she doesnt want to take me to court but that she wants XXX amount of money and if i dont pay the number she has come up with she has no choice. I asked her to go to mediation and she said she will not go unless i take 50-50 off the table. She said the only way she will go to mediation is if i agree to 60-40 which defeats the purpose of even going to mediation. So for the long message. I guess my bottom line question is how can I get more time with my kids RIGHT NOW. From what I've heard, getting lawyers, and going to court can take years...so in the meantime...how do i get time with the kids NOW.
For one year, I didn't pay C/S. I now know i should have and scared I will now lose my kids.
Reason I didnt pay:
-She moved out of our home while i was away with our 3 kids (aged 10-14) and then denied me access.-She "told" me when I could see the kids, which was Fri, Sat and Sun and every second Wednesday. 4/14 days. I wanted to see the kids on a 50-50 schedule (Mon - Sunday every second week.) She said no. So I showed up at school or at her house when I believed the kids should be with me and everytime I showed up she denied me access by locking doors or running to car. Not good, so I stopped showing up as not to cause more chaos for kids. My belief, for not paying, whether wrong or right, was that the kids should be with me 50% of the time, so if she was having a hard time financially paying for the kids, all she had to do was drop the kids off. I want my kids 50% of time. I have zero say in parenting decisions (i.e she does what she wants whether I agree or not for example she allows my 14 yr old to have sleep overs with his GF which i COMPLETELY disagree with!). I cant do homework with my kids, or make lunches, or take them to their sporting events. I have no say in any of their upbringing. I have a close family and we all live within 30km of each other and the only people missing now from holiday events are my 3 kids. They miss out playing with their cousins and seeing their grandparents and aunts and uncles. I'm devastated. From the outside, I now understand that it appears as though I didnt want to pay child support but that is not the case. I didnt want to pay her to watch my kids when I was readily available to care for them. I felt as though she was asking me to pay some sort of "babysitting" fee which I felt was not necessary because I was and still am available 7 days of the week to care for them. She won't let me see my kids for more than 4/14 days and then demands I pay support. I now regret that I didnt go to a lawyer the day she moved out. I have let the situation be status quo for 1 year now because I really thought she would eventually let me see my kids. Now, I know that will never happen. I never thought my ex would be this cruel and its taken me a full year to realize but now i fear i sat for too long and did nothing. I dont know where to start now with legal proceedings. I know court will take a long time and im just starting to learn about it but what I do now? I am going to pay her the money I owe for the past year, but how do i get more time with my kids going foward? 4 days is NOT enough. I want 7/14 days or 6/14 at the very minimum. How to I get her to make the kids come and see me? Do I have to stay in this 4 day situation until we get to court. Every day the kids stay with her is another day she manipulates them. Is there anyway to get a court or judge to tell her to STOP talking to the kids about our seperation ( we were never married but were common law for 15 years). She tells the kids that I will pick them up and never take them home again (this is what my daughter told me). I have a GF now and she tells them that daddy doesnt want to be with the kids, he only wants to be with his GF. she should not be allowed to say things like that. Is there any chance a judge will still allow me to see my kids even though i failed to pay her the money she wanted every month over the last year. She has retained a lawyer and keeps telling me that she doesnt want to take me to court but that she wants XXX amount of money and if i dont pay the number she has come up with she has no choice. I asked her to go to mediation and she said she will not go unless i take 50-50 off the table. She said the only way she will go to mediation is if i agree to 60-40 which defeats the purpose of even going to mediation. So for the long message. I guess my bottom line question is how can I get more time with my kids RIGHT NOW. From what I've heard, getting lawyers, and going to court can take years...so in the meantime...how do i get time with the kids NOW.
Comment