Again I appreciate the feedback and suggestions.
I'll be clear here, I am not taking this lightly, this isn't a 7 year itch, we are in councilling as am I seperatley. I said I need to make a descision soon in frustration.
Regarding my daughter, it wrentches my heart to think of her being put through this, but I know if we act like parents should with her best interest in mind she will be fine in the end.
I explained earlier why I WAS willing to have a second child, it was so my daughter can have a sibling and my wife could have a second child. It may have been stupid but it is what I chose to do. That door is now closed. As for why we were doing insemination, it was for medical reasons, but it is not something I feel is needed to go into here. However it does not affect out non sexual lives.
Through coucnilling I have come to realize that I have not been assertive with my wife, I frankly let her run the marriage for the most part. Unfortunatley this turned into constant nagging, being her punching bag for frustration and emasculation. To meet me I am not by any means a weak man or timid man. Without consciously realizing this I allowed this most likely from growing up from an overly dominant father and didn't want to repeat what I went through growing up.
Now I find myself incredibly angry and frustrated with myself and frankly resentfull. Now I can't put all the blame on myself, I did stand up many times, yelled, screamed and punched a few holes in the walls. That was the first 3 years. The last 3 I have stopped being passive and being her punching bag.
It was at this point 3 years ago I wanted councilling. She didn't. We stopped communicating properly. All our talks turned into nagging, tit for tat, all BS.
Through all of this there has been guilt, I hate to see her feel bad, not get what she wants, hate saying no, all from a feeling of guilt, and she plays the card well. Even when I know she's using that card it still works on me.
I'm sounding like a push over, I'm not. I own and run a demanding successful business, guess I just can't run a marriage.
So today I am starting to ask myself am I staying in this marriage out of guilt of hurting her? I think I am. There is love, it's not the kind that was there at the beggining.
I'm pretty sure I simply didn't marry the right person for me.
I forgot to add that I did speak to my doctor and she did assess mean and concluded that I am NOT clinically depressed am I depressed about the situation sure I'm angry and frustrated everything I said above. When I go out to work when I meet with clients I'm fine when I'm with my friends I'm fine yes I get a down about the situation but overall I am definitely not depressed.
I'll be clear here, I am not taking this lightly, this isn't a 7 year itch, we are in councilling as am I seperatley. I said I need to make a descision soon in frustration.
Regarding my daughter, it wrentches my heart to think of her being put through this, but I know if we act like parents should with her best interest in mind she will be fine in the end.
I explained earlier why I WAS willing to have a second child, it was so my daughter can have a sibling and my wife could have a second child. It may have been stupid but it is what I chose to do. That door is now closed. As for why we were doing insemination, it was for medical reasons, but it is not something I feel is needed to go into here. However it does not affect out non sexual lives.
Through coucnilling I have come to realize that I have not been assertive with my wife, I frankly let her run the marriage for the most part. Unfortunatley this turned into constant nagging, being her punching bag for frustration and emasculation. To meet me I am not by any means a weak man or timid man. Without consciously realizing this I allowed this most likely from growing up from an overly dominant father and didn't want to repeat what I went through growing up.
Now I find myself incredibly angry and frustrated with myself and frankly resentfull. Now I can't put all the blame on myself, I did stand up many times, yelled, screamed and punched a few holes in the walls. That was the first 3 years. The last 3 I have stopped being passive and being her punching bag.
It was at this point 3 years ago I wanted councilling. She didn't. We stopped communicating properly. All our talks turned into nagging, tit for tat, all BS.
Through all of this there has been guilt, I hate to see her feel bad, not get what she wants, hate saying no, all from a feeling of guilt, and she plays the card well. Even when I know she's using that card it still works on me.
I'm sounding like a push over, I'm not. I own and run a demanding successful business, guess I just can't run a marriage.
So today I am starting to ask myself am I staying in this marriage out of guilt of hurting her? I think I am. There is love, it's not the kind that was there at the beggining.
I'm pretty sure I simply didn't marry the right person for me.
I forgot to add that I did speak to my doctor and she did assess mean and concluded that I am NOT clinically depressed am I depressed about the situation sure I'm angry and frustrated everything I said above. When I go out to work when I meet with clients I'm fine when I'm with my friends I'm fine yes I get a down about the situation but overall I am definitely not depressed.
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