after divorce want kids to reside with me

[abuseddad]

Thanks everyone...I am thinking what other clauses should be put in the agreement to protect my kids for any step dad she will decide to date and what rights do I have in regards of her taking the kids and relocating? I think if 50 50 then she can't?..sorry many questions

[standing on the sidelines]

Thanks everyone...I am thinking what other clauses should be put in the agreement to protect my kids for any step dad she will decide to date and what rights do I have in regards of her taking the kids and relocating? I think if 50 50 then she can't?..sorry many questions

you cannot control who she dates. Unless the man is a person who is a danger to the kids. You cannot control it. How would you feel if she put the same conditions on you??? You need to wrap your head around that its over and each of you will move on eventually with new partners.

You cannot stop her from relocating but you can put in a clause stating the kids have to remain in a certain area. Just because its in there doesn't mean that its set in stone.

[Rioe]

Thanks everyone...I am thinking what other clauses should be put in the agreement to protect my kids for any step dad she will decide to date and what rights do I have in regards of her taking the kids and relocating? I think if 50 50 then she can't?..sorry many questions

To prevent her from relocating, you want a fairly standard clause that says that the residence of the children cannot be changed to outside of your school district or city, whichever geographic area you find appropriate, without agreement of both parents. Obviously, you want to make sure YOU reside in the right area if you don't end up in the matrimonial home yourself.

Then, if either of you moves outside that area, the children go to reside with the other parent instead of moving with the first parent. To move with the children, that parent would have to get the other's agreement, or take them to court to have the order changed, in which case the judge would look at which situation was in the best interests of the children - move or stay put.

The access schedule is mostly irrelevant, though the more access each parent has, the harder it is to prove to a judge that moving the children is in their best interests. If one parent rarely sees them, moving the children away from them isn't as important a consideration and might be outweighed more easily.

[Links17]

I dont agree

1. You can not prevent her from ever moving , you can only put in a rule about the notice she must give. People have a right to mobility. Having shared custody is a significant reason she cannot move away with the kids otherwise its almost guaranteed she can move away.

2.you cant protect your kids from pedophiles she might date. Even if she were to date a convicted pedophile you qould have to prove that the pedophile isba danger tp your kids. There isnt an automatic assumption that the pedophile is a danger. The judge would assess things like does your child fall in the "preferences" of the pedophile etc....

Any discussion you have about what she can or cannot will be used against you to show you are controlling and crazy. Family court is a woman's world becareful.

[Dadx5]

I was able to get an order that mom can not leave child alone with any male that isn't immediate family. Mom fought it actually telling the judge that she was straight and it was explained to mom that once she become common law or engaged, or with a written agreement from myself.

As for moving. Even when I was just an every other weekend parent I was able to limit her ability to move more then 100km the location at the time of the order. Once we moved into shared custody I was able to get an order that the child doesn't move schools, and her medical and service provider's stay the same. Also if she moves she has to do transportation. So it doesn't say mom can't move but it put a lot of restrictions on her ability to move or at least take our daughter.

[stripes]

If you are concerned about who she dates, would you accept a clause in your agreement that is binding on both of you? "Neither parent shall introduce Kid to any other adult of the opposite sex unless that parent is engaged or in a common-law relationship with that adult"? Do you think that would be reasonable?

Clauses in your agreement aren't there to control the behavior of just one party - if you want a clause that affects mobility for instance (children must remain in school district), it will affect your mobility too.