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Do you feel guilt or regret?

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  • #46
    My kids asked why I didn't leave sooner, and made me feel guilty for that, but hey that's how the cookie crumbles!

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    • #47
      I regret that it didn't work between us. That it could have been so good. (like the Adele song--we could have had it all). But that was not to be and I miss what we used to be together, because it was good.

      The kids are better than ever since we split. They have taken it completely in stride. totally unexpected on my part but wow. so guilt? Not at all. I know I gave it my best shot at honouring my life-long committment, but I couldn't do it without sacrificing myself.

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      • #48
        Regret not splitting from him 15 yrs ago. Wasted my best years.

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        • #49
          In Denial for over 40 years

          No guilt about leaving him, and no regrets, ever.

          For over 40 years of marriage I refused to acknowledge the painful reality about the physical, mental and emotional abuse. I was in denial and put on a good show of everything being just fine, protecting my well-known husband in our small city.

          The kids are now 39 and 37. They had no idea of the emotional trauma I went through. Now with the separation , I'm finally free and feeling hopeful, and the "self" I thought that was lost is now...found.

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          • #50
            I have to qualify the first sentence and say that I did feel regret for not leaving him sooner; in fact I was very angry with myself for not doing so. But now I've accepted it as part of my life. It's what you do with your remaining time...that matters.

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            • #51
              I knew right from the day I made the decision that it was the right move. And the separation didn't happen until 6 weeks later! I have never felt guilty; this decision was made to give my daughter the chance to grow up with a happy mom, not a scared, wilting woman used to being stepped on.

              The only regret I have is that I did not report the abuse to the police. That would have lent some credibility to my story, and perhaps taken a little power/control from my ex.

              While things are far from perfect, she knows she has 2 parents who love her. And even if she still can still sense and feel the tension between us, I can be open with her and she can understand what it is about now. I dont have to hide anything, and can truly be the role model a mother should be. It was the main reason why I left, so she would not suffer, and hopefully she would learn what a "good" relationship looks like, and not just a "bad" one. I am happy to say that she now knows what it the good relationship looks like, and that disagreements do not mean screaming, and yelling and throwing things, but discussions, compromise and hugs afterwards.

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