Hello all – I am new here but not new to the divorce game !
Sorry in advance for the long post but I want to try and get as much info out there as possible.
I have been divorced since 2008, separated since 2003, and have an 18 year old son who is going off to college this weekend (he is staying in residence).
We have a ‘very bad for me’ separation agreement that I was fine with when I signed it back in 2003 but I didn’t have the foresight to see how it would affect me in the future. If we could only go back in time right ?
I have faithfully paid the required child support along with 50% of any extra expenses and have contributed every month to a RESP.
At the time the RESP payments were set up (2004), it was in my and my ex’s name but somewhere along the line it must have been changed to her name only. I honestly don’t remember when that happened but in our agreement there is a clause that says our sons RESP must be in her name. Now I am pretty sure we had an RESP set up before we split which I think this clause was put in for but I really don’t know which account all the money I put in went to as I don’t have any access to it at all. I did go to the bank but they could not legally give me any information.
So now the RESP has enough to cover 85% of 3 years of school expenses, including residence and a food plan. His program is a 4 year co-op program but one full calendar year is comprised solely of work terms so there are no fees involved.
Is it not reasonable to assume that the RESP would be used to the full extent to pay the school fees ?
And since that also covers the residence and meal plan then I would not have to pay CS while he is in school ?
My ex has always been difficult to work with and has always had it out for me since we split.
So she is saying that 1/3 of the costs will be covered by the RESP, 1/3 by her and 1/3 by me. If we went by this then there would be about $25000 left in the RESP once he is done school, does this make any sense at all ?
Where does that money go if its not used, back to her because its in her name or back to me since the money was put in by me ?
Now she has already paid the full amount of the first year’s fees with RESP funds so do I have any ground to stand on to not pay 1/3 out of my pocket or pay CS ?
Any help or advise from someone who was or is in a similar situation would be great.
I do have a lawyer that I went to see for a consultation last month that I could go to but I was really hoping to not have to get a lawyer involved.
I was really hoping to be able to ride out the last few years of dealing with her without getting into debt but I am not feeling good about the chances.
TIA !!
Sorry in advance for the long post but I want to try and get as much info out there as possible.
I have been divorced since 2008, separated since 2003, and have an 18 year old son who is going off to college this weekend (he is staying in residence).
We have a ‘very bad for me’ separation agreement that I was fine with when I signed it back in 2003 but I didn’t have the foresight to see how it would affect me in the future. If we could only go back in time right ?
I have faithfully paid the required child support along with 50% of any extra expenses and have contributed every month to a RESP.
At the time the RESP payments were set up (2004), it was in my and my ex’s name but somewhere along the line it must have been changed to her name only. I honestly don’t remember when that happened but in our agreement there is a clause that says our sons RESP must be in her name. Now I am pretty sure we had an RESP set up before we split which I think this clause was put in for but I really don’t know which account all the money I put in went to as I don’t have any access to it at all. I did go to the bank but they could not legally give me any information.
So now the RESP has enough to cover 85% of 3 years of school expenses, including residence and a food plan. His program is a 4 year co-op program but one full calendar year is comprised solely of work terms so there are no fees involved.
Is it not reasonable to assume that the RESP would be used to the full extent to pay the school fees ?
And since that also covers the residence and meal plan then I would not have to pay CS while he is in school ?
My ex has always been difficult to work with and has always had it out for me since we split.
So she is saying that 1/3 of the costs will be covered by the RESP, 1/3 by her and 1/3 by me. If we went by this then there would be about $25000 left in the RESP once he is done school, does this make any sense at all ?
Where does that money go if its not used, back to her because its in her name or back to me since the money was put in by me ?
Now she has already paid the full amount of the first year’s fees with RESP funds so do I have any ground to stand on to not pay 1/3 out of my pocket or pay CS ?
Any help or advise from someone who was or is in a similar situation would be great.
I do have a lawyer that I went to see for a consultation last month that I could go to but I was really hoping to not have to get a lawyer involved.
I was really hoping to be able to ride out the last few years of dealing with her without getting into debt but I am not feeling good about the chances.
TIA !!
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