Curfews

[kingstonmomof2]

Just wondering what others thoughts are on curfews.
My daughter is 13. 14 in March.
Aside from going to a movie (tends to be a later night) when you or another
parent are picking them up & driving them home, what time do you require your young teens
to be in the house at?
School night? Weekend? Summer?
Just curious :-)

[blinkandimgone]

At 13-14 weekday curfew was 10-11, depending on the activity. Weekends, 12ish, or later if they were just at a neighbour's. Summer, no curfew.

Keeping in mind, though, that we live in a small country neighbourhood and most of their friends are right here. If we lived in the city it would be different and my kids would most certainly not be galavanting around at all hours of the night.

[KMF]

Omg! My almost 14 year old doesn't even go out, so I can't imagine asking him to be home by midnight! Even when my 18 year old is home from school on weekends, I ask that he please be home by 1am. And I consider myself a pretty relaxed mom! lol!

[blinkandimgone]

I get that. In my opinion, I'm totally ok with my kids being out late at a neighbour's house, just as they are when their kids are here. It's like their home away from home so as long as they're 'home' somewhere safe I am happy. I trust them implicity with my kids, and vice versa. It takes a village to raise a child and all that. So far, we've never had any cause for concern.
I'd prefer earlier for school nights, but most of their weeknight activities are church or youth group related which tends to run later for the older group, so it is what it is. Between that, babysitting and now jobs, I feel it's reasonable for my guys.

But again, I'm comfortable with it because of where we live and the people they're with.

[KMF]

Yeah, I'd be ok if my son was at a friend's house. But in our fairly small town, the kids tend to wander around in town, and I'm not ok with that. With my 18 year old, I can't sleep unless I know he's home with my car and both are in good shape! lol! When he's at school, he can do whatever he wants, and I'm not there to nag, so he can put up with it on the odd weekend he's home

[blinkandimgone]

I don't mind the wandering, they're all good and respectful kids. I wouldn't be ok with it if we lived in the city, for safety reasons.

[KMF]

I guess I'm lucky, because my son seems pretty happy hanging out with the family. It's harder where we live, because it's partially rural, and half the kids live on farms and you have to drive to get anywhere. If we lived in Toronto, I'm sure it would be different. I remember wandering at the Eaton Centre at that age, and no way could I picture my 14 year old doing that now

[kingstonmomof2]

Omg! My almost 14 year old doesn't even go out, so I can't imagine asking him to be home by midnight! Even when my 18 year old is home from school on weekends, I ask that he please be home by 1am. And I consider myself a pretty relaxed mom! lol!

Lol yes I think that Blink sounds quite liberal, BUT, country/small community living IS different!

My 13, going on 16 yr old is SUCH a good kid! Its just hard to know how far & when to let them spread their wings.

On weekends it's usually group events like movie theatre or provincial level hockey game.
No issues if it's 10-11 pm as a parent is dropping off & picking up.

Sometimes she is at a girlfriends house + if it's as late as above, I pick her up.

School nights she is home by 8 pm. Curfew has never been an issue as she has never asked for any amount of freedom that wasn't (imo) totally reasonable.

Well.......last evening she came to me and asked if she could meet her bf (yes, bf.....pretty serious as far as grade 8 goes). It was 9:15pm!!!

He lives on our street & had just got home from hockey. They just wanted 15 min.
It was then that I realized it was time to set boundaries and prepare for the questions BEFORE they come up!

Boyfriends...another thread maybe?

[KMF]

Ah....so glad mine is still happy playing video games and with action figures Parenting is so difficult, and each kid is so different, so different rules may apply to each one. My daughter will have a curfew of 8 pm when she's 16! lol!

[kingstonmomof2]

Ah....so glad mine is still happy playing video games and with action figures Parenting is so difficult, and each kid is so different, so different rules may apply to each one. My daughter will have a curfew of 8 pm when she's 16! lol!

Lol. You are so right. Every child is different.

[Beachnana]

Never had a " set" curfew. Just kept the discussion going and treated each situation as they came up. Because there are no constants in a teenages life, just parenting challenges!

[kingstonmomof2]

Never had a " set" curfew. Just kept the discussion going and treated each situation as they came up. Because there are no constants in a teenages life, just parenting challenges!

That's really the way I'm leaning Beach. I AM really easy going. It's a little scary lol.
I've explained how trust works! She is a good girl but I remember being 14. Ugh!