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  #21  
Old 09-06-2011, 10:39 AM
formyGirls formyGirls is offline
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Well.... in typical fashion, my ex changes her tune in the 11th hour, and sends through an email this morning saying I am "allowed" to come to the school today... and that she's surprised at my sudden interest and that it's "better late than never."

Yep, she's got to get her digs in no matter what. Radio silence from me.

Anyhow, our kids were super excited to see me, and I did a good job of making my presence known to them, quickly wishing them well, and backing off for the ex to have her time, without me interfering.

Once the teachers had the kids into their classrooms and getting settled, I quietly slipped away to not create any disturbances. Our kids are great with the transitions now... though it has taken awhile to get them this way. If I felt there was any chance of them getting clingy and crying, I would have stayed away and waited for meet the teacher night instead.

All in all, I am glad I went. And I'm glad that my ex came around and "allowed" me to go too
  #22  
Old 09-06-2011, 10:53 AM
distraught distraught is offline
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I am very very happy for you!! Glad all went well and glad you and your kids had the opportunity to share it together. I am glad you had a great start to your day.
  #23  
Old 09-06-2011, 12:04 PM
formyGirls formyGirls is offline
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I should also mention, along the lines of some of the advice on here, I didn't take the time today to talk with the teachers at all. With my ex present, it is just opening up the potential for conflict and she may view it as me trying to interfere. I introduced myself and that's about it. Today was about the kids.

I will go to the parent teacher night next month instead. Their school does one on one meetings, and I can book my own appointment.

Again, I appreciate the opinions and ideas from everyone!

Thanks again!
  #24  
Old 09-06-2011, 12:58 PM
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wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
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I am very surprised that your undertaking allows unsupervised contact between you both.

I'm happy it worked out for you
  #25  
Old 09-06-2011, 04:27 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iceberg View Post
Since his ex has sole custody she lists names of the people who can pick up the kids or get info about them. If she doesn't put his name the teachers will just say ...ummm..who are you...your name is not on the list
Not quite. You don't have to have custody to be a parent, and parents have right to access to medical info and school info.

That said, not every school principal is an expert in family law and getting that info/access may be a lot of work. It can be done though. The courts will support a NCP having access to the school records and being able to interview the staff.

Attending the school when the child is dropped off or picked doesn't require being on paper as able to pick up the child.

Unless there is some risk of flight, there is no reason an NCP should not be on the list to pick up in an emergency, similar to an aunt or uncle or babysitter. If the CP is denying this, it is one of the first things I would address in a motion order.

Really, it comes down to if this is a high conflict situation or not. If it is not high conflict, the NCP should be able to be there, and should be on the list to pick up the child. If it is high conflict, the courts will not support excluding the NCP unless there is a sound, factual reason given. The FLA does support the NCP having access to medical and school records.
  #26  
Old 09-06-2011, 04:33 PM
MommaMouse MommaMouse is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formyGirls View Post
I should also mention, along the lines of some of the advice on here, I didn't take the time today to talk with the teachers at all. With my ex present, it is just opening up the potential for conflict and she may view it as me trying to interfere. I introduced myself and that's about it. Today was about the kids.

I will go to the parent teacher night next month instead. Their school does one on one meetings, and I can book my own appointment.

Again, I appreciate the opinions and ideas from everyone!

Thanks again!

Good for you!!! Individual meetings with teachers are always great, you learn more about you kids when you have the freedom to talk to the teacher without the ex. Sounds like your kids really appreciated you being there.
  #27  
Old 09-06-2011, 05:55 PM
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May_May May_May is offline
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How did it go today ? did you go to the school ?
Hoping you did go, and it was peaceful and uneventful other than ear to ear smiles from your children !
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