Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Parenting coordinators - any positive experiences?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Originally posted by Janus View Post
    ...assuming you are actually reasonable
    Parents who view or approach any form of counselling, mediation, parenting coordination as a weapon in their court disputes are not reasonable.

    It's like going to a doctor crying stress to get a "stress leave" off work and then flying out to Spain for a week when you're out of vacation days.

    You have to approach these services with genuine and clear intentions to resolve the issues. Otherwise, you're just gaming the system and wasting everyone's time.
    Last edited by tunnelight; 08-26-2019, 01:46 PM.

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by Janus View Post
      ...assuming you are actually reasonable
      If you're not...somehow- it always comes out in the wash.

      Originally posted by tunnelight View Post
      Parents who view or approach any form of counselling, mediation, parenting coordination as a weapon in their court disputes are not reasonable.

      It's like going to a doctor crying stress to get a "stress leave" off work and then flying out to Spain for a week when you're out of vacation days.

      You have to approach these services with genuine and clear intentions to resolve the issues. Otherwise, you're just gaming the system and wasting everyone's time.
      It can be both.

      You can approach it with a genuine purpose of trying to find some common ground and come to a resolution. I did. I listened to what our PC had to say. Like CoolGuy said- I was going to consent to certain things anyway. But it helps when there is a neutral third party who genuinely just cares about the kid(s)- and can steer you in the right direction for the sake of the sake of the kid(s). Also our PC had a social work background with child protection. If she said we should proceed in a certain manner- it meant something coming from her. So I listened.

      You can also use it strategically. It was strategy on my part to see if someone else could talk some sense into my ex so we could save the financial devastation that is a custody trial. It was also strategic because I realized after our first session that he can't hide his over the top temper tantrums, and bullying abusive behaviour. He can for a while- but it always creeps back out. Those are sophisticated high conflict people. They can try for a bit- but somehow- something always sets them off. Mostly cause they're not as smart as they think they are.

      Like I said- it's strategy. Doesn't mean I didn't go into it with genuine efforts of trying to find common ground for the sake of my kid. And it worked for the most part. We're not spending a 100k each on trial, and we have a plan moving forward and have a strategy when we hit the next milestone to reassess.
      Last edited by iona6656; 08-26-2019, 02:56 PM.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by CoolGuy41 View Post
        ...

        In my case the amount of parenting time withheld was small (< 24 hours). ...

        Can't comment on a parenting coordinator. Seems like it may not be useful with your situation.


        "Contempt" is a waste of time given it's only been the one instance that you mention, which is probably why your lawyer steered you away from that?


        If you are being denied your parenting time, on an on-going basis, you need to *document* it, and document your requests for make-up time, to show you don't agree with the other parent denying your time. (emails are good).


        Then, if it keeps happening, and the other parent is not following the agreement, that's when you can seek some remedy from court if needed, with your documented instances.


        One time disagreement over time, of less than 24 hours. Document it, but move on. When it keeps happening, with no reasonable compromise from the other parent, that's when you can look at getting it remedied via court or whatnot.


        Document it. And keep said documentation of discussions civil from your end - business-like.

        Comment

        Our Divorce Forums
        Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
        Working...
        X