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  • #16
    As you know, there is nothing you can do about your ex's apparent unwillingness to see the kids. This is not a new phenomenon.

    I know it's difficult being a single parent and you wish that the other parent was more this/that. Well, he's not - and all the wishing in the world won't help. Accept that you are a single parent and do the best you can, as you are doing.

    Nobody can control what his decisions are wrt the kids. He has an obligation to support his children. Get the ball rolling w/MEP and accept the reality of your situation. While it's great to have 2 loving parents, plenty of kids are raised, and raised well with one loving parent.

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    • #17
      Well what a surprise everyone!! My stbx just gave my kids a Christmas present yesterday! He emailed them to tell them he hopes to see them after Christmas?!! Jeezazzzz it's only Nov 17th and he hasn't seen them since July. Hasn't spoke to them in months..... Merrychristmas kids sorry I didn't get you a better dad

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      • #18
        You can send him a Christmas card (letter from MEP).....

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        • #19
          Arabian!!! Whoooo hooo How r u!! Yess funny you say that all my paperwork just came in my lawyer wanted my marriage cert my property assessment and my bank account info so <<fingers crossed>> papers gets signed this week!! So he can at least be served, not sure how much longer until something is court enforced tho....
          I can't wait to get this ball rolling for my present !!!

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          • #20
            Make sure your lawyer has the clause in there about support being enforced by the director of Maintenance Enforcement.... Wouldn't hurt to put both FRO and MEP.

            I know once MEP gets the court order, assuming you know where he works, it doesn't take too much time at all. I guess in your case the trick is to get the court order.

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            • #21
              That's great news! Maybe your stbx had a huge change of heart. Strike while the iron is hot and file those papers as Arabian suggests.

              "..all my paperwork just came in my lawyer wanted my marriage cert my property assessment and my bank account info so <<fingers crossed>> papers gets signed this week!! So he can at least be served, not sure how much longer until something is court enforced tho....
              I can't wait to get this ball rolling for my present !!!"

              Sounds like things get resolved pretty quick in Alberta!

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              • #22
                dont fall ovahhh

                soo i just rec'd an email from stbx "i would like to get the kids for christmas since you have been non-compliant"

                are u kidding me i responded a couple days later addressing the non compliant remark stating that he has only asked for the kids 3 times in the past 9 months and 2 or which HE cancelled. I said no but was flexible on the 3rd try.

                he just emailed me again saying that he wants the kids jan 1-jan10

                all 3 of my kids are in elementary school.

                i said yes to christmas as they will be in Ontario and he can pick them up from a relatives at 1.

                he said he is wanting to fly all 3 of them to alberta their ages are 12,8,5? I would have to trust that he was their on the other side to pick them up? after he hasnt seen them since july? still he pays no support of any kind.

                thoughts? i put a call into my lawyer to see what she advises me if anyone can offer suggestions to me i appreciate it,

                i do know his game is to get me to say NO therefore he wants to use that no as his see she denies me the kids bs.
                i can almost guarantee he has a trip booked during his requested times, I am positive he is just looking for me to say no to justify his own behavior

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                • #23
                  I would be making sure that they are round trip tickets that are non-refundable. From everything you have said about the guy I wouldnt trust him. He is probably trying to get you to say no so he will have something against you.

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                  • #24
                    I'd probably insist that he come get them or arrange to have a relative of his escort them there. He's making the big bucks now, shouldn't be a problem. It would be devastating for your kids if he cancelled at the last minute.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                      soo i just rec'd an email from stbx "i would like to get the kids for christmas since you have been non-compliant"

                      are u kidding me i responded a couple days later addressing the non compliant remark stating that he has only asked for the kids 3 times in the past 9 months and 2 or which HE cancelled. I said no but was flexible on the 3rd try.

                      he just emailed me again saying that he wants the kids jan 1-jan10

                      all 3 of my kids are in elementary school.

                      i said yes to christmas as they will be in Ontario and he can pick them up from a relatives at 1.

                      he said he is wanting to fly all 3 of them to alberta their ages are 12,8,5? I would have to trust that he was their on the other side to pick them up? after he hasnt seen them since july? still he pays no support of any kind.

                      thoughts? i put a call into my lawyer to see what she advises me if anyone can offer suggestions to me i appreciate it,

                      i do know his game is to get me to say NO therefore he wants to use that no as his see she denies me the kids bs.
                      i can almost guarantee he has a trip booked during his requested times, I am positive he is just looking for me to say no to justify his own behavior
                      Take how he is acting and what he is or isn't trying to do out of it as its irrelevant. I know it's hard, however, what do you feel the children could reasonably manage?

                      Focus on only that aspect.

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                      • #26
                        Ok, so are you saying he wants to pay to have them flown to him on New Years Day - January 1st - and keep them till Jan 10th?

                        My instinct would be to say sure...providing he will sign an agreement of return on January 10 and that has a proven way of getting them to you (in Alberta) on January 10th.

                        Basically, since you have no agreements of any kind he could, in all fairness, keep the kids and not return them. You would want something from him, in writing, through the lawyers, that provides a course of action should he try this.

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                        • #27
                          Thanks

                          Hi yes thanks everyone I've virtually had zero contact with him since September when he told me if I contacted him again he would call the RCMP on me once again!

                          I appreciate all your comments that can assist me through this delicate situation as I know he is trying to build a case against me
                          He believes using the denying access is his poison.
                          Everything with him is money motivated he emailed me last night that he shouldn't pay for anything to do with our house in Ontario as he doesn't live there. he said he doesn't pay support because he doesn't see the kids.
                          When I talk to my lawyer what questions do I ask so my children are safe yet can enjoy their holiday with their dad?! Thank u all

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                          • #28
                            Why do I have visions of you sending the kids off and then having to fight to get them back???????


                            No agreement - no kids. Don't be feeling guilty about keeping them from their father - he's doing it himself. Sounds like an absolute prick.

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                            • #29
                              I agree with MiViLaLoco and Arabian. Get a signed agreement that he will return them before agreeing.

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                              • #30
                                Arabian that is horrible advice... she has not right to keep the kids from their father because there is no agreement. I believe that is called blackmail? Besides, even with an agreement, he could decide not to return the children and she would have just as hard of a fight as not having an agreement.

                                Given is track record he will most likely cancel, which sucks for the children, but you do have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

                                The only thing you should be asking for is travel itinerary, including round trip air fare and non-refundable (as Standing pointed out above).

                                OP- remember, you may hate him, but he is still the children's father, maybe it took him all this time to get his crap sorta straightened out, and lets face it, I am sure the children would LOVE to see their father. Always be their mother before you are his ex.

                                Comment

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