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  • The rights of school principal

    Having this school location battle, my ex went to registered our kid in her school zone. After that the principal (of current school) locked us on school zone so I cannot change it. He did it because she went first to him to do the registration.


    I called the school board and they pulled the child out of her school and made it so called "999" where neither of us can register him without a legal paper (including mediation). Since people from mediation services never called back, the principal is playing a judge and doesn't want to release the child to designated school which is still in my area but different school.


    Does anyone know how much power a principal has over where to register a child? He is lying that he gets orders from school board but they say otherwise even though they don't like to get involved much. The principal is on my ex's side.

  • #2
    you do not give enough information about the background for anyone to offer advice.

    who has custody
    who has decision making for education
    are you in the court process or are you even in the court process
    where did the child go to school before

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
      you do not give enough information about the background for anyone to offer advice.

      who has custody
      who has decision making for education
      are you in the court process or are you even in the court process
      where did the child go to school before

      Custody is shared both 50/50. Legal and physical. She filed something and is holding it back for some reason so nothing is in the court processing.



      The child went to elementary school closer to my home. Now he wants to go to JH in the same area because of his friends. But his mom is certain he must change location. Maybe because the principal told her not to worry.

      Comment


      • #4
        The child may be telling you they want to go to your choice of JH, and telling mom they want to go to her choice.

        If your current choice of mediator is not responding than book an appointment with another mediator. In my area school boards have a trustee who can help navigate conversations with Principals (I’m not sure if this is true in your jurisdiction as we don’t have JH around here). Perhaps the principal of the school you want can help as well, especially if most students in the current school stream to that specific JH. If she has not started something in the courts, then perhaps you should file as the court process is slow, unless your separation agreement says otherwise.

        Comment


        • #5
          The child is telling both of us what we like to hear. The difference is he says it to her out of fear. She did serve me with an affidavit then put it to hold due to mediation that never happened. We haven't been to court.


          I cannot afford a lawyer and she gets legal aid. I have to self rep but very difficult with my anxiety, public speech phobia and English.

          Comment


          • #6
            I can't decipher the situation, as your posts are not clear.


            So your child is currently in one school, and your ex and principal, switched her school, now, in May, near the end of the school year?


            Or you're meaning the school switch will happen, once the new school year starts (Sep. 2019)?


            It would make no sense to switch schools now. I find it hard to believe that any school change has happened yet.


            Your child does not need to be registered at a new school yet, until even the first day when the new school year starts, and a principal and the school board would likely state the same.


            Has your child actually switched schools then?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by SpiritWithAhatchet View Post
              The principal is on my ex's side.
              Ice, just wanted to point out that you usually seem to feel like the world is against you. I suspect that, instead, your communication to the principal was very unclear.

              I would make requests in writing, and have somebody edit those requests. Principals will usually respond to written messages.

              That said, with regards to your questions, principals have lots of power, so don't upset one unnecessarily.

              Comment


              • #8
                is this really such a big deal? How far away are the two schools?

                what are the academics like? Is one school superior? if so- why not just send the kid there. He's in middle school- his wants, while important- aren't really *that* important.

                what I'm really trying to ask is: Is this really a pissing match with the other parent?
                Last edited by iona6656; 05-21-2019, 02:15 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Dad2 bandm. I am talking about going from elementary to JH in September. It is all about next grade. Registration period was between April 15 and May 15. There was an option to do registration online. However the principal locked me out. My ex went to school and registered the kid in her school zone. My complaint to the school board was successful. Its just we are now stuck.


                  Janus . Principal told me that all he does is what his supervisor from school board tell him to do. But when I spoke to his supervisor she said that simply isn't true. Also I believe he blackmailed me when he said all the family law judges are his friends and made it clear that he can have an effect on a judges decision.



                  Regardless, I am not trying to get on his or anybodies bad side but now he wouldn't even register the child to his designated school area which is neither school that parents like. He said he will keep it this way to September and even longer if he has to. If I write to him he will probably ignore it. I had 2 meetings with him already. BTW he wants to see us on the 29th if mediation fails. He wants to question the kid too. Seems like I have to go to court and make fun of myself without a lawyer but I see no other option...or let her win.


                  Iona . The schools are the same. I will tell you why it is such a big deal. For one, the child wants to go to school A because of his friends. Mom wants school B because it is too far for her to drive every day to and from. She had hard time with it. She had her sisters, brother, bf and friends help her. But IDK why is it too hard when she is on welfare. I prefer either school A or C because they are both closer to me but if I could choose it would be the school of child's choice. I have to be at work at 7:30am and if my ex gets the school she wants, it can jeopardize custody as well.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    What I am deciphering from this:

                    -You and ex have a status quo of joint custody and 50/50 access. This is good. How long has this schedule been in place/how long have you and ex been separated?

                    - You do not have any sort of formal separation/custody agreement in writing, whether it is an order through court or amicably signed with lawyers. This is not good.

                    -You kid is moving from elementary into JH in the fall. This transition means a change of schools no matter what.

                    -You and your ex live in different school zones. Ex wants kid to transition into her zone, you want kid in your zone.

                    - It seems the underlying issue is that neither of you want to travel to the other parent’s school zone if the child goes there. You claim she is on welfare and therefore has all the free time in the world. She probably claims that you have a job (aka disposable income) to be able to spend money on gas driving kid to school, where she does not

                    Solution:

                    I don’t know what your access schedule is like but why don’t you tell her that if kid goes in your zone you will either:

                    A) come pick up/drop off child to her on some of her days so she doesn’t have to do so much driving

                    OR

                    B) Offer her some extra money every month to cover her travel costs to take the kid to and from school

                    I have a feeling option B may be your winning ticket, cause ya know, money talks. And if you are going to get the privilege of having the kid go to school in your zone, then you are going to have to sweeten the deal with something. If she doesn’t agree to either option or some slight variation, give her the opposite offer (her school zone, but she pays/drives)

                    Then, hurry up and get a detailed custody/access order signed. Like yesterday.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      What province and school board is this with? (unless you don't want to say)



                      In any case, despite what the school or principal(s) or your ex tell you, you can register your kid on the 1st day of school, when September comes. The school registration did not have to be set in stone, today. Sounds like it's not a private school?



                      It sounds like you need a formal custody/access agreement, because if your ex is just registering your kid unilaterally now, and you're having issues with principals now, you're going to need that piece of paper down the road for other issues.



                      Principals deal with a lot of crap, in situations like this (separated parents), and without that piece of paper, it makes it more difficult. Your ex beat you to the punch (in a shady way, perhaps), so the principal is probably just settling on that decision for now.



                      I have a feeling, that your impression of what the principal is doing, and what was said, is not totally accurate.



                      FYI, I had a similar issue, where a principal (and the other parent), were blocking my change of schools for kid, but in my case, our original agreement basically had a clause that said something like "mother's school decisions" will prevail, and the principal was relying on that, even though, I suspect, he knew my transfer attempt was for kid's best interest. And despite that my kid was living with me primarily then.



                      I went and got that piece of paper changed (court), and now, kid resides with me primarily still, and kid goes to school on my street. It was not a quick process. But it was needed, and it worked - for me and kid.



                      Maybe "mediation" deciding this (instead of court), would work for you, but mediation only works for people who can somewhat compromise, and aren't going to have these issues going forward too.



                      If you go through mediation or court, you could present your case as child was going to school X, and wants to go to school Y now, because their friends and school-mates are mostly going there too. Then you can also point out other reasons it's good for kid, and point out how you can accommodate that, to meet child's best interests.



                      That's how you should paint that picture. Don't paint the picture though, as, "too far for me to drive", or, "why is it problem for Mom - she doesn't work anyway". School changes can influence custody decisions (for primary caregiver), but a school change should not be done, to help one set that up.



                      So I think it's a fair point, to mention, if you go the court route, to say that a unilateral school registration done by the other parent without your input or say, should not decide primary caregiver role when done in that manner. (but maybe you were also trying to do the same?)



                      Did either of you move, or you're both in the same area as the original primary school? None of these schools can't be that far away?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        SelfRepMom. Yes we do have a legal agreement from 10 years ago when we separated but it doesn't mention the school.


                        If this matter gets to court, like you say the kid is changing the school anyway so why not her? It would be just who can prove what is in the best interest of the child. I don't know how much weight it carries to continue with your friends. Maybe not much. Or depends of the judge.



                        I already offered her both. Money and pickups/dropoffs on certain days but she refused. She wants it because she knows I can't drive to her area therefore she gets more custody and eventually full custody.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Dad2bandm. I got custody agreement. Shared custody legal and physical. My kid told me today that the principal asked him if I asked the kid which school would he like to go. He said yes, and I wanna to to THAT school. Then the principal said "Child should go to school of his choice". Now, I guess we still have this appointment with the principal on the 29th and will see what he has to say.


                          If he agrees with my ex then IM screwed in court. She will say the principal also came to conclusion what is in the best interest of the child in this case. He could witness for her. It is just my guessing but regardless of what principal does or says I gotta see a lawyer for 1 hour to get some info and then go to court if I can (she filed first, could be expired). But yes she lived here in this school area where the kid is now going to school.


                          She moved away. During our marriage she lived in this very area and that was 10 years ago.



                          No I wouldn't write that it is too fart for me to drive but Besides school friends and maybe status quo I have no clue what else to write.



                          I can't say she wasn't interested in mediation because I learned she did contact them but they couldn't get back to us. It is just too much stress either way.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Wow she refused to come talk with principal but her lawyer advised her to do so. So this Monday we will meet. She said there is no point and that she already registered the child to her school.


                            What pissed me off is she said to the child "If principal or anyone asks you where do you wanna go you must say mom's area".

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by SpiritWithAhatchet View Post
                              What pissed me off is she said to the child "If principal or anyone asks you where do you wanna go you must say mom's area".
                              How do you know she said that?

                              Comment

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