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  • Too Broke to fight

    Scenaio; Wife moved out with her new man over 2yrs ago. She would not agree to anything and we spent 20k on lawyers and just as I was getting everything together(house, business, lake lot etc), she quits and will not discuss anything with me. My two teenage daughters stayed with me by the way. Now she sends me an email(answering one I sent her in December) requesting that I sell the lake lot, send her the house appraisal, etc, etc.

    Question: If she can no longer afford a lawyer, what are her options? She is still living with her new man. She apparently pays 1/2 of everything(even though he has two kids) and signed a pre nup made up by him! She took a brand new vehicle with her, some furniture, and got all of the RRSP's because they were spousal. Is there anyway that she can make me pay for her legal fees? Should I try and make the cost for her more than she can handle in the hopes that she quits again? Is there any sympathy in the fact that she was fooling around with him for 2 years before she left and she has been gone for 2yrs. That's 1/5th of the time with him since we were married for 21 years - 23 now.

  • #2
    she gets half the value of the house and the lake lot, there is no way around that. On the same note you should get half the value of the furniture she took. Whose name was the car in and was there a loan for it? What was the value of the spousal RRSPs and the ones in your name?

    Doesnt matter if she fooled around or not. I do not like the tactics you want to use by running up her legal bill in hopes she quits. If the courts figure that you are being unreasonable then i think you can be made to pay for her legal bills. Why not just get it over and done with???

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    • #3
      What are the options for people who cannot afford lawyer fees when going through divorce?

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      • #4
        Presumably you don't qualify for legal aid.

        You can do research here and read books. There are several layman books available on Canadian family law. Go to the library and look for Canadian Family Law by Kronby, Surviving your Divorce by Cochrane and Tug of War by Brownstone. Read them all at least twice.

        Although you are probably past this, you can get a workbook with a CD-ROM full of printable forms from Staples or Indigo to do your own divorce and separation agreement. This isn't necessarily a solution to your problems, but it gives you a skelton to start with, then you can fill in as much as you can, see where you are stuck and ask questions where necessary.

        You can self-represent in court. You can file your own separation and divorce papers if your ex comes to an agreement. If not, you can file an application for a trial. This will be a complete set of arguments with supporting facts and documentation, it is a big process. Once you file the application you can have a Case Conference with a judge. You may request the judge send you to court ordered mediation, which can be far cheaper than finding a mediator privately.

        Mediation may succeed or fail. If it fails you may file a motion order for interim support for you kids. Your ex should be paying at least a nominal amount of support, the courts won't accept that she is unemployed, supported by her bf, etc. This would put a lot of pressure on her to settle.

        As long as you have a reasonable offer on the table for settlement you are protected from having to pay her legal fees. You would pay her costs if you lose in court. If you have a reasonable offer that is as good or better than a court decision, the judge would find that the trial was unnecessary and she would pay the costs of the trial (or some of them). If neither of you have a lawyer then the costs are nominal, like printing costs etc. You cannot charge for your own time.

        At courthouses there are Family Law Information Centres where you can get legal advice on your case. If you have a high income then the help may be limited. At the very least you should be able to go in and get answers to a few questions. Separately, there is also a Duty Counsel at courthouses who can help you fill out forms or understand what forms you need, when they are due, etc.

        All of this is equal to a full time job, but if you are willing you can do it yourself.

        A big part of reaching a settlement is knowing what is reasonable and what is not. If you know what a court would likely find, you can offer something close to that. You understand where to draw your lines and be firm. You understand what she can demand and what she cannot.

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        • #5
          the way the OP made it sound is that his ex cannot afford a lawyer and he wants to run up her legal bill so she just gives up. I may be wrong

          Comment

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