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New and scared, case conference tomorrow

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  • #16
    Thanks Arabian,

    I am, in the proposal for solution, I have offered to pay all that is claimed to be owing by way of pension carve out, and if necessary some other way....regardless... I am actually mostly agreeable....because its for my kids.... i was just curious what if any weight is placed on that area as being one of the areas (obviously in my mind, as significant) as a break down that lead to this situation. I am coming at it more from a position of I am taking responsibility what can I expect a judge to see as important factors.... for example what are her responsibilities...

    does that make sense?

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    • #17
      And in the pension carve out I am including interest on the amounts asked for... the lack of agreement rests with how to pay....

      She needs it now... I don't have it..... hence some arrangement needs to made...

      (And being defensive now... I don't have it because I gave up the mat home and equity... screwed up with over paying stuff for the kids (I'm sure many can relate to trying to keep up with lifestyle that had been establish) then consumer proposal... There really is nothing except the pension... and very little by way of cash flow on a per month basis... )

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      • #18
        You filed a consumer proposal, I imagine when you say you signed over the house that you completely signed over the mortgage and the title? You would think if she trys going after stuff from past that you should get some of the house equity back, especially since you signed it over under duress. Have some sort of speach ready to read out at that fcc, don't try and wing it from notes...it made my second fcc so much better....and I had lots of evidence to back me up afterwards when the other party denied eveything I said. I was not prepared for all of the lies and outright denials the first time!

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        • #19
          Thanks undersc0re,

          Do you know who speaks first, I allotted 20 minutes for me and 20 minutes for respondent. Respondent booked the conference. Who speaks first... whats the protocol...

          Thanks

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          • #20
            My speech... which is true...

            I was thinking of something like... I may not have known all the right titles and what to call what or what act was used from action... what i did know, is my kids needed to be supported... so that's what I did... it wasn't a gift... it was just what I would expect any father to do... so I did it... now when I look at all the numbers of what I have paid .... it turns out that I paid 24000 over the fscg in the first three years. I got derailed by the actions of the respondent... and now as it turns out... in addition to promoting stability for my kids and the respondent... making her an additional 200,000 in equity from the house after signing it over.... that I haven't been able to pay almost exactly what I paid above the fcsg.... and now I am just tired and being dramatic...

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            • #21
              Originally posted by keebler View Post
              Thanks undersc0re,

              Do you know who speaks first, I allotted 20 minutes for me and 20 minutes for respondent. Respondent booked the conference. Who speaks first... whats the protocol...

              Thanks
              My fcc's were simple, an application for access order for a grandmother, directed to fcc at first court appearance,at first fcc it was an hour of mud slinging lies and trying to hash out some sort of interim order, 2nd time I had a speech I read out after she spoke, all my accusations and reasoning had evidence to back it up which I don't think she expected, that 2nd fcc meeting lasted 75 min, ultimately after the next court appearance I will end up going to a 1 day trial I am sure.
              She spoke first and lied like crazy and I had nothing ready to explain or disprove those lies that I suspected she might tell, the judge turned to me with evil eyes and I knew I already lost that round....Neither of us had lawyers
              The judge will try to get you 2 to probably consent on some important issues to address the important things for now, be ready with reasons and good examples of what you will agree on.
              It will most likely be a mud slinging, trump vs hillary type of deal. It is pretty laid back, of course you still call him your honor and a clerk will be in there as well.

              At the start of the first fcc the judge asked us both our names and if we seeked legal advice on the issues at hand...not sure if it helps to say no to the legal advice or not lol.

              Maybe you could mention signing over the house under duress when your there, and how you want your share back, and it may help push her(scare)into consenting on something a little more in your favour. Take notes on what your sure she is to make a huge issue about in the near future so you can figure out a plan of attack.

              I have little experience compared to most people here so take my input on your situation with a grain of salt...

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              • #22
                It's tough to provide adequate advice as it seems you're not quite sure what you want (at least in my view). What you should want is to haul ass back to town and agree to that 50/50 that she's telling you she wants. She said it herself ... she's tired and needs your help.

                I'd personally go in to that CC with an "A" grade parenting plan, a plan for your transition back to the old neighborhood and how to handle a 50/50 relationship and leave the money alone. I wouldn't be signing anything money related until your financial situation is a bit better sorted out. The only thing I would sign are terms like I've described above (50/50, shared custody). Unless of course you don't want 50/50. It's rare I see a case where mom's practically begging for 50/50, saying she's tired and needs the othr parents help. Get all over that!!

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                • #23
                  I wonder how Keebler made out with his case conference?

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                  • #24
                    Got through the Case Conference

                    Coles notes version:

                    Judge didn't care about my speech.
                    Judge did however say, "since the matter is close to be settled, if you come back with an agreement this afternoon, I will grant you a verbal divorce."

                    That motivated me to work toward an agreement(agreement in the form of a consent order). So I did. We came up with an agreement that will be very and I don't like but none the less can live with especially because now I was going to be divorced. However, it was almost five o clock and the court clerk came out and told the ex's lawyer that they had to hurry to get this done this afternoon. In my discussion with the ex's lawyer, she wanted me to pay section 7 in advance to minimize contact with the ex( which I am good with). I disagreed with the amount, we then agreed on a just over half of what she was asking. She wrote up the agreement (minutes of settlement for a consent order) and as she was handing it to me she said "you have to hurry because the judge is leaving" The court clerk confirmed this information. So I asked the lawyer if there was anything she added or omitted from our conversations. She mentioned one thing she added but did not mention what she omitted. Then told me to read it.

                    I read it very quickly. Rushed into court, Missed what she omitted, signed it and waited for the judge to come out.

                    What is missing is an articulation that XXX dollars is for future section 7 expenses.

                    So it reads as an example:

                    200 for child support
                    300 for arrears
                    Child support to change to 250 after arrears are paid.
                    The total monthly payment being 250

                    what I wanted it to read was

                    200 for child support
                    300 for arrears
                    50 for future section 7 expenses after arrears are paid
                    The total being 250 but just broken out as mentioned.


                    What she omitted the articulation of future section 7 expenses.

                    The lawyer sent me the draft to sign. along with an amendment to the original separation agreement.

                    Clerk walks into the court room and says, judge is reviewing the consent order and signing it, and not coming back into the court room.

                    I was shocked and said what about the "verbal divorce" and the ex's lawyer just awkwardly shrugged it off and said "ya I don't know what that was about" and left.


                    My questions are:

                    Am I just out of luck because I believed the judge about the divorce.
                    Am I just out of luck regarding the draft order to sign. Do I have enough to file a 25E disputing the draft order in form and content because some content was left out of the original minutes...

                    What happens if I sign the draft consent order and not the amendment to the original separation agreement?

                    Can I submit a divorce order with the consent order at the same time for the judge to sign since he said he would grant the divorce? If so is there a motion I need to add to this....

                    I pretty confused. and I know this is a lot...

                    Thanks to anyone who might know something and share it.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Displaying a shocking amount of prescience, I said

                      Originally posted by Janus
                      Try not to sign anything tomorrow unless you actually understand what it is you are signing.
                      Then you went ahead and...

                      Originally posted by keebler View Post
                      I read it very quickly. Rushed into court, Missed what she omitted, signed it and waited for the judge to come out.
                      Doh

                      You need to stop signing things.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Imbecile....
                        What you can do though is get the other lawyer to agree in writing that the 250$ referred to 200$ + 50$ for S7 expenses and if they ever contest it that should be enough.

                        Lawyer X,

                        Just to confirm the 250$ represents 200$ Table Child Support and 50$ S7 expenses as we agreed upon.

                        Even if it isn't in the agreement their confirmation in an email should be enough to protect you

                        Comment

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