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  • Leaving in on a suite cases (50/50 access)

    Hello everyone.

    A lot of people here as myself try to get 50/50 in regards of child custody and access.

    I am trying to get on week about schedule. Yes I believe leaving with mom and dad will benefit kid.

    But in the same time idea that kid will have to leave with suitcase make me sad. If anyone have real life experienced could you give some input how your kids coupe with it?

    What alternatives what would be less hard on kid and still protect his right and dad to be part of his life - not visitor ?

  • #2
    "Leaving in on a suite cases"

    What does this mean????

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    • #3
      It means that both of you have to have a more or less complete set of STUFF for your kid. Is very expensive.

      Obviously some stuff would travel with kid (skateboard, ipod)

      The more cooperation there is, and the closer you live, the easier it will be to coordinate sharing of major stuff like sports equipment, winter clothing, hobby stuff.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
        It means that both of you have to have a more or less complete set of STUFF for your kid. Is very expensive.

        Obviously some stuff would travel with kid (skateboard, ipod)

        The more cooperation there is, and the closer you live, the easier it will be to coordinate sharing of major stuff like sports equipment, winter clothing, hobby stuff.
        Yea that what I meant. I have friend whose step-kids leave on week schedule. That is how he describe it. Everybody has a suitcase pack it got unpack it etc...

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        • #5
          Originally posted by WorkingDAD View Post
          Yea that what I meant. I have friend whose step-kids leave on week schedule. That is how he describe it. Everybody has a suitcase pack it got unpack it etc...
          Ahh, "Living in a suitcase"! But if there is 2 sets of stuff, why the suitcase?

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          • #6
            Its not about how it makes you feel, its about how it will benefit your kids. Not every situation is the same so look at your situation in particular and determine what is best for your kids. I know parents who have 50/50 access and their kids are thriving. I also know parents who have weekend access and that suits their kids as well. Try your best to determine what is best for your kids and move forward from there. Kids are very adaptable and flexible and will follow your lead. Good luck!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
              Ahh, "Living in a suitcase"! But if there is 2 sets of stuff, why the suitcase?
              Well as I understand mot all stuff can be in two copies... Especially when kids school age.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by first timer View Post
                Its not about how it makes you feel, its about how it will benefit your kids. Not every situation is the same so look at your situation in particular and determine what is best for your kids. I know parents who have 50/50 access and their kids are thriving. I also know parents who have weekend access and that suits their kids as well. Try your best to determine what is best for your kids and move forward from there. Kids are very adaptable and flexible and will follow your lead. Good luck!
                Thank you
                our kid is 2 y.o. My understanding was that in that age that would be ok to have 50/50. As younger kid easier him to adapt... May be when school come something should be changed ...

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                • #9
                  My kids were 6 and 9 when we divorced. I can only tell you what I learned from my experience. When we first separated I saw our kids on the weekend and 1 over night during the week. I was clueless about my rights and my fight to get what I have now (50/50 parenting schedule) was proof of that. I was also delegated to babysitter status when my ex needed one. I took it because the more time I got with them the better. Our kids were not happy. They went from seeing me every day to not seeing much at all. Today my kids are very happy and I would not trade what I have with them for anything. At the time of my separation I was like you, I thought that they would be better off with their mother more than me. Boy was I wrong. Fortunately I saw what was right in front of me, 2 very sad kids, who were acting out not because they were "bad" but because they felt rejected by me, they thought I did not love them anymore or want them. I decided to fight for our kids, for their well-being, for their sense of self even if I lost, at the very least, I would be able to show them that I tried. I would win either way.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by iceberg View Post
                    During school years, it would be the best to live close to your ex. (I know...dont attack me now) but that way the kid/s can have about the same friends and still spend about equal time with each parent if you live in that area and everyone is happy.
                    that obvious and logical. Nobody going to attack you for that )

                    Originally posted by iceberg View Post
                    Some people suggest "bird nest custody" which means that house/appartment or whatever belongs to the child and each parent spends a week there so the child/ren dont have to move. But I have yet to meet such people who have done it. Besides being too expensive, it doesnt seem right to rotate living place with your ex. Who knows maybe works for some, google it if you like to learn more.
                    That one different approach never heard about that. If I would win lottery maybe I would think for that but now there is not way I can do it. And I do not really understand how that would work if you have another family - basically you have be out of your wife and another kid...

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