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  #1  
Old 05-23-2021, 10:15 AM
canthisberight canthisberight is offline
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Default this is about my seperation situation..not my partners...

legally seperated for exactly 2 years.

My daughter 22, on odsp for severe depression, bipolar etc..stayed at her dads Friday night.

She went to wake him up at 2pm..which was very unusual ...and he had passed away.

Dont even know how to process this and what part I need to play in it. My daughter cannot deal with any of it. My son who is a cpa, has estranged himself from all of us, but especially his dad, havent spoken in 4 years.

Anyone been in this situation and any sort of advice?
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  #2  
Old 05-23-2021, 03:42 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Does he have any family? Siblings? Parents?

You may have to help her with the arrangements as technically she is his next of kin. As terrible as it sounds, there is no one else. Did he have any paperwork for arrangements around his wishes?
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  #3  
Old 05-24-2021, 10:10 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss. Although you have been separated for two years, this is a person who you were married to and share a history with and children.

It must have been traumatic for your daughter to find her deceased father, especially with her mental health history. She will need your support now more than ever. If she is already seeing a counsellor you should encourage her to speak to her therapist re processing this.
Although your son is estranged from the family, it is his father who passed away and as such you should reach out to him or have another person reach out to let him know and give him the opportunity to attend the funeral if he so desires. It’s the decent thing to do.
I hope you yourself are reaching out to friends and family for support to help you through this challenging time in your life.
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Old 05-24-2021, 10:39 PM
canthisberight canthisberight is offline
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Default Thanks

What a crazy few days and it hasnt even really started.

Thankfully my son responded, he is heartbroken, and wants us to leave everything in the house as is..but he cant get here til Saturday and I want to be able to be out by June 1st as its a rental.

What a mess, my ex and I were together a very long time, he had no friends or family and an alcoholic to the very end...over 200 beer and 7 or 8 40 oz of liquor in the house..craziness. All this is falling on me...every part. My son is willing to help but not being able to get here for a bit is an issue.
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  #5  
Old 05-25-2021, 09:05 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by canthisberight View Post
What a crazy few days and it hasnt even really started.

Thankfully my son responded, he is heartbroken, and wants us to leave everything in the house as is..but he cant get here til Saturday and I want to be able to be out by June 1st as its a rental.

What a mess, my ex and I were together a very long time, he had no friends or family and an alcoholic to the very end...over 200 beer and 7 or 8 40 oz of liquor in the house..craziness. All this is falling on me...every part. My son is willing to help but not being able to get here for a bit is an issue.
if last months rent was paid then the apartment is paid for next month. Your ex has family, his kids and now it is their responsibility to deal with their fathers last wishes and burial or whatever. None of this is falling on you,it is falling on your kids shoulders.

He will be there on Saturday and that isnt far away. He can call the a funeral home and make arrangements for his dads body to be moved from where ever it is now to a funeral home.
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Old 05-25-2021, 10:26 PM
canthisberight canthisberight is offline
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Default Wow....I had an unhappy seperation

But as a parent to suggest I wouldnt help my kids, makes me laugh
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Old 05-25-2021, 10:53 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Didnt he have any family?
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Old 05-25-2021, 10:57 PM
canthisberight canthisberight is offline
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Not one relative...other then me and my kids...
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  #9  
Old 05-26-2021, 06:28 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canthisberight View Post
But as a parent to suggest I wouldnt help my kids, makes me laugh
I am not saying that, you are the one saying that it is all up to you when it isnt. The kids are his next of kin so it is up to them, I did not say that you should not help them but you are saying that it is all falling on your shoulders when it isnt. Plus it sounds like your son is an adult who is working so its not like he is a teenager who has to deal with this.
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  #10  
Old 05-26-2021, 08:50 PM
canthisberight canthisberight is offline
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Default True, did I mention he hadnt

spoked to him in 4 years? Nope, I did not, I think any parent would help their child. However we all grieve in different ways and perhaps by my helping them...its helping me
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