To introduce myself here after 2 years since my wife left me is perhaps too late for any advice.
I was totally ghosted. I had no idea. It has been very hard. I sure wish I would have looked for this forum earlier.
Even my lawyer had never even heard of such a bizarre case.
Maybe there is someone out there that this has happened to, and who can give me advice, in hindsight or not.
Curious? Well then read on.
I am Canadian and met my wife in Europe when I was 20 years old. When I went back to Canada, she soon followed. We eventually got married in Canada and she became a citizen. We bought a house and had a child together. As time went by, the house got paid off (as I had my prior savings) and our child grew up and eventually moved out. My wife was home most of the time, taking care of us. She worked a few jobs for a few years here and there but stayed home for most of the time. She took care of everything, especially our banking and financing. I had no idea how much money we had.
We were happily married for 40 years.
Or so I thought. ..
Like every morning, we kissed each other goodbye on this particular morning when I left for work.
When I came home that afternoon, her car was in the driveway as usual, but she was not home. I soon noticed that lots of things were missing. I tried to call my wife on her cell. Her phone number was no longer in service. I phoned a few friends and our child, but nobody had heard from her.
I called the police. They came over, and found no evidence of foul play and soon found a very short "dear John" letter. They recommended to change the locks and call the bank, cancel credit cards, etc. which I did.
I found out that she had taken all our savings (which was a lot of money) from the bank. I asked how that could be legal, but was informed that it was fully within the law as the accounts were joint.
After getting to speak to the bank manager, they eventually gave me a photocopy of a bank draft issued to a law firm. I spoke to the law firm who then informed me that my wife had filed for divorce and I need to retain my own legal representation.
I was at a loss. What had happened? Why divorce? Why now?
She had just disappeared. I tried to contact my inlaws and her relatives but they all refused to speak to me. Why?
6 weeks later I was served. There were several restraining order applications and an affidavit with incredible false accusations of violence and abuse, extramarital affairs and embezzlement of our money. I was in absolute shock. None of her claims were even remotely true.
I hired a lawyer, who said not to worry. He said that in Canada, those affidavits mean nothing as we have no-fault divorce, and our divorce was a simple case of asset division 50/50. Simple. It should be cleared up within a few months and will not need to go to court.
Except...my wife disappeared. I was stuck in the house. Due to the restraining order, I could not sell the house, not rent it out or profit in any way from the house as my wife was also on the title. I had to live there to maintain it and protect our asset. Having to live in the house filled with 40 years of memories became too much for me and I attempted to end my life. I was found by a neighbour and I was hospitalized.
Jumping ahead a few years, It is now settled. No, I never did have to go court. I never got any money back from our joint accounts. I just followed my lawyer's advice, the house was ordered to sell and I ended up with less than 20% of our total assets. The rest my wife got. She is now retired, and I still have not been able to contact her to get any explanation.
So I will leave you with these questions:
1. Has anyone experienced or even heard of anything similar?
2. Is there anything within the law that I could have done differently?
3. She got 50% of the house, 50% of my private and Canada pension and 50% of my income to spousal support. In total, it becomes 80/20. Why is it considered to be a 50/50 division when it became 80/20?
4. I bought the house with my own money from before the marriage, but she still got 50% of the sale proceeds. Why?
I was totally ghosted. I had no idea. It has been very hard. I sure wish I would have looked for this forum earlier.
Even my lawyer had never even heard of such a bizarre case.
Maybe there is someone out there that this has happened to, and who can give me advice, in hindsight or not.
Curious? Well then read on.
I am Canadian and met my wife in Europe when I was 20 years old. When I went back to Canada, she soon followed. We eventually got married in Canada and she became a citizen. We bought a house and had a child together. As time went by, the house got paid off (as I had my prior savings) and our child grew up and eventually moved out. My wife was home most of the time, taking care of us. She worked a few jobs for a few years here and there but stayed home for most of the time. She took care of everything, especially our banking and financing. I had no idea how much money we had.
We were happily married for 40 years.
Or so I thought. ..
Like every morning, we kissed each other goodbye on this particular morning when I left for work.
When I came home that afternoon, her car was in the driveway as usual, but she was not home. I soon noticed that lots of things were missing. I tried to call my wife on her cell. Her phone number was no longer in service. I phoned a few friends and our child, but nobody had heard from her.
I called the police. They came over, and found no evidence of foul play and soon found a very short "dear John" letter. They recommended to change the locks and call the bank, cancel credit cards, etc. which I did.
I found out that she had taken all our savings (which was a lot of money) from the bank. I asked how that could be legal, but was informed that it was fully within the law as the accounts were joint.
After getting to speak to the bank manager, they eventually gave me a photocopy of a bank draft issued to a law firm. I spoke to the law firm who then informed me that my wife had filed for divorce and I need to retain my own legal representation.
I was at a loss. What had happened? Why divorce? Why now?
She had just disappeared. I tried to contact my inlaws and her relatives but they all refused to speak to me. Why?
6 weeks later I was served. There were several restraining order applications and an affidavit with incredible false accusations of violence and abuse, extramarital affairs and embezzlement of our money. I was in absolute shock. None of her claims were even remotely true.
I hired a lawyer, who said not to worry. He said that in Canada, those affidavits mean nothing as we have no-fault divorce, and our divorce was a simple case of asset division 50/50. Simple. It should be cleared up within a few months and will not need to go to court.
Except...my wife disappeared. I was stuck in the house. Due to the restraining order, I could not sell the house, not rent it out or profit in any way from the house as my wife was also on the title. I had to live there to maintain it and protect our asset. Having to live in the house filled with 40 years of memories became too much for me and I attempted to end my life. I was found by a neighbour and I was hospitalized.
Jumping ahead a few years, It is now settled. No, I never did have to go court. I never got any money back from our joint accounts. I just followed my lawyer's advice, the house was ordered to sell and I ended up with less than 20% of our total assets. The rest my wife got. She is now retired, and I still have not been able to contact her to get any explanation.
So I will leave you with these questions:
1. Has anyone experienced or even heard of anything similar?
2. Is there anything within the law that I could have done differently?
3. She got 50% of the house, 50% of my private and Canada pension and 50% of my income to spousal support. In total, it becomes 80/20. Why is it considered to be a 50/50 division when it became 80/20?
4. I bought the house with my own money from before the marriage, but she still got 50% of the sale proceeds. Why?
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