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  • Would it be wrong if....

    Just wondering if it would be wrong for me to send an email to my ex and ask if he plans on paying CS this month? He is in arrears with FRO, since June, and with Xmas coming I could really use the help. Would it be wrong for me to ask? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and see what happens at our Settlement Conference in Jan? I don't even want all of the arrears, just something would be nice?

  • #2
    I wouldn't. If it's already filed with FRO, then they are working on it.
    If your ex is anything like mine (also doesn't like to pay child support on time), then it will just add fuel on the fire.
    It won't make your ex pay any quicker, and in fact, may do the opposite since he'll know he's getting to you.

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    • #3
      Thank you Ontario Momma. I was thinking the same thing....but just thought that I would ask others opinion. Waiting for FRO seems to be similar to watching paint dry, outdoors, in minus 30 degree weather.

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      • #4
        FRO might consider these "persistent arrears" in which case you might want to ask that FRO revisit your case for more aggressive enforcement actions.

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        • #5
          Just dealing with FRO for arrears for my daughter.

          I called them on a daily basis leaving polite and friendly message each time. Our case worker is quite good and after a couple of days she called back. I kept my house phone forwarded to my cell phone so I would not miss her call.

          So we asked for some enforcement and they have started garnishment. They to,d us garnishment takes a few months, so in the meantime they also did. Federal garnishment which means if he is entitled to any tax refunds, hst cheques they would immediately be taken and applied against arrears

          They sent him a letter outlining the process they would take,and have given him 30 days to call,them and set up a voluntary repayment schedule.

          You need to call your case worker and get them started on some enforcement.

          Good luck.

          Ps never give up the arrears. When you go to court in January make sure the judge knows he has not paid.

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          • #6
            Question for you Beachnana, how many months in arrears do they have to be before they will start garnishing and other actions??

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            • #7
              Actually after the fro action starts it is illegal to exchange money directly, it must go through FRO, so even if you ask and even if he is willing to give you some money, he mustn't give you any money directly.

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              • #8
                Thank you Beach Nana!


                Unfortunately my EX is a US Resident and doesn't collect any Government "bonuses". The other issue is that my EX doesn't hold a True employment, so garnishment is damned near impossible.
                I have followed a few posts that you have made about calculating cost for child care and what not and plan on submitting this at the settlement conference. I will be asking for costs, as well as arrears with interest, and ask that it all be paid through FRO. Don't want to deal with small claims court on top of all of this!! Thank you again for your wisdom!

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by OntarioMomma View Post
                  Question for you Beachnana, how many months in arrears do they have to be before they will start garnishing and other actions??
                  The " rules" state $3000. Yes, there are rules. It seems most payors read them ! Of course.

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                  • #10
                    One collection action taken by maintenance enforcement agencies is to have passport cancelled. This usually happens just prior to drivers' license suspension. Might be difficult/impossible for your ex to attend a settlement conference in person. He would have to do it through teleconferencing.

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                    • #11
                      Ontario Momma: I was told from FRO that collections actions can take place at either $3000.00 in arrears, like Beachnana stated, OR 3 months. Which ever comes first. For me $3000.00 in arrears would be 6 months....


                      Arabian: Having his passport cancelled wouldn't be any skin off my back! He hasn't shown up to the last 3 court appearances for HIS motion to change!! I highly doubt that he will show for the settlement conference either. I have had to miss time from work, using my vacation time that could have been spent with my boys, to attend court dates...let him have the pain of having to arrange teleconferences!! Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh....definitely not directed at you Arabian, I'm just not caring about his "best interest" anymore, as he obviously doesn't care about the best interests of the children.


                      I think my best bet is to just deal with what I do have, provide the boys the best that I can, and bring all the bullshit to the light of the courts and let them decide who's right and wrong. I can't and probably shouldn't play Judge and Jury when it comes to my ex?!? Thank you all for your input! I really do appreciate it.

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                      • #12
                        If he is a US resident it might be hard to use any of the enforcement methods. But you might be able to have him flaggex at the border. Is he a Canadian citizen living in US. If so going for his passport is the best enforcement. You really need to call your FRO person and explain your experiencing financial hardship. Let them know he has i dicated he has no intention of paying. I told our person that the payor laughed and said FRO is ineffective in recovering money ( which he did say) and she was not imlressed and has since been quite effective in pursuing our case.

                        But persistent calling of FRO to get enforcement started is the best option at this point. If you have any contact information such as recent addresses and work information make sure you fax this to FRO.

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                        • #13
                          Beachnana is correct. You have to be quite persistent with FRO. Always remember that when you call your call is going to essentially a call-centre.

                          call, call, call....

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by BitHunter View Post
                            Actually after the fro action starts it is illegal to exchange money directly, it must go through FRO, so even if you ask and even if he is willing to give you some money, he mustn't give you any money directly.
                            Its not illegal just carries a hefty fine!

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                            • #15
                              Hope you get money - if he offers perhaps you can suggest Wallmart Gift cards?

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