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  • Grandparent as child care

    I pay my mother $600 a month to look after the children (4 and 7) while I am at work and that is her only source of income. I don't claim this on my taxes and neither does my mother.

    I don't get a receipt from my mother to look after the kids and i was wondering if my ex should help pay for this child care?

  • #2
    I’d say no seeing as neither of you claim it as income what proof does the ex have you’re actually paying her? You could send her the money and she could easily give you cash back. 4&7 are in school so the $600 is for before/after school care?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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    • #3
      Agree with BF. No receipt no pay. $600 a month is actually not that much and she could offset it on her taxes by claiming expenses.

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      • #4
        Grandparent as child care

        You should get a receipt and your mom should claim it on her taxes. At that amount of income- she wouldn’t get taxed on it. Unless she has a lot of pension coming in and you can claim it as a child care expense.

        If you do that, then yes- your ex should be paying their proportionate share. I pay my mom $250/month for before and afterschool care. My ex pays his proportionate share of that. He hates it and fought me on it. But paid it in the end, because I had proof of the payments (receipts) for the last two years - and my mom claimed it as income on her taxes.

        There’s case law on whether grandparents as childcare is a legitimate expense. Basically- if you started paying your parents just to make your ex pay a portion. Ehhh. Also depends if grandparent has any other form of income (is it actually just a favour? Etc etc)

        As it stands now, your ex doesn’t have to pay his share.
        Last edited by iona6656; 10-23-2019, 11:38 PM.

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        • #5
          Personal, not a legal position:

          Forcing an ex pay a share of babysitting fees to a grandparent is complete and utter bullshit.

          Imagine that your household was a corporation, and that your corporation makes $100k per year. You decide to "pay" your new wife $40k per year for "household services", so your household income is only $60k. Obviously, we don't allow that, because the new wife is not an arms length employee.

          I fail to see how paying your parents to babysit is any different.

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          • #6
            Thanks everyone for their input. I don't think I will pursue this with the ex as it's not worth fighting for.

            My mother does not claim this on her taxes so I don't want to cause any issues for her.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Janus View Post
              Personal, not a legal position:

              Forcing an ex pay a share of babysitting fees to a grandparent is complete and utter bullshit.

              Imagine that your household was a corporation, and that your corporation makes $100k per year. You decide to "pay" your new wife $40k per year for "household services", so your household income is only $60k. Obviously, we don't allow that, because the new wife is not an arms length employee.

              I fail to see how paying your parents to babysit is any different.
              Absolutely disagree. Paying your wife to watch your children would be bullshit.

              People who own businesses pay their family members who work for the business all. the. time. The CRA absolutely allows it.

              But a grandparent who is using childcare funds a legit income stream? There are so many benefits to it. It's the best of both worlds. Let me list them out:

              1) Kids get the benefit of grandparent watching them- and there's a wealth of research that says able bodied grandparents helping with childcare is a good thing for the kids and the grandparents.

              2) Grandparents get a legitimate source of income. If they are providing child care similar to any other childcare provider- why shouldn't they get paid? And if they're declaring it on their taxes, and providing child care receipts- there is nothing shady about it.

              3) It sets up boundaries for the parents and the grandparents. My ex treats my mom as a childcare provider. He expects a receipt. He knows he has the right to ask about foods- snacks she gives her, etc. While I know my mom is doing me a HUGE favour- the boundaries allow for a clear delineation of our relationship when it comes to setting out guidelines for D3's care.

              My ex's opposition to it is him being full of shit. Before we separated- we both agreed that my mom would take a leave of absence from her job to be D3's childcare when I went back to work full time- to bridge the gap between 12 months - 20 months when she would start at preschool. At the time, it was a favour- and she was slated to go back to work after 6 months (ex and I were going to take vacation time to make up the extra two months). *THIS* was a favour.

              When our marriage went to shit- and I needed childcare after I moved out of the house, and in the crappy time inbetween- I *ASKED* my ex how he felt about my mom staying on as her childcare and waiting until we found the right preschool (in a new City- re: waiting lists). He was all for it. He saw that our daughter was thriving under my mom's care. Her weight was getting better. She was learning. My mom took her to early years centres, the library, etc etc. I told him- as this time was outside of the time my mom had agreed to take a leave to help us, and in fact she was taking early retirement and foregoing part of her pension to care for D3- I told him that I was going to pay her at a rate similar to other dayhome providers for infants/toddlers. He said "Okay. But I'm not paying her".

              Basically he wanted her to help for free. And that's not fair. I paid my mom since that time. On my own. I kept receipts. I was clear and upfront on this. He just wants the benefit of before and afterschool child care for free. If his mom was in a position to do the same- I would absolutely pay her too. For the reasons I list above. Especially for those lovely things called "boundaries".

              He argued this at our last co-parenting session and our PC said paying my mom was reasonable using pure logic on what was best for D3 and what was fair.

              So, no, not bullshit. Fair, beneficial and reasonable.
              Last edited by iona6656; 10-24-2019, 11:35 AM.

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              • #8
                It’s only a legitimate source of income for grandma if she’s claiming it as income. Cash jobs are not legitimate so if you want help with paying Grandma she has to claim it and give you receipts.


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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                  It’s only a legitimate source of income for grandma if she’s claiming it as income. Cash jobs are not legitimate so if you want help with paying Grandma she has to claim it and give you receipts.


                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                  Agreed. And if you want the ex to pay- you should discuss it like you would any other child care provider. After all, that's someone watching their kid- probably the most important decision we have to make as parents. Both parents should have say into it- regardless of the custody arrangement.

                  If it's one-off babysitting- that's different.

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                  • #10
                    A friend of mine went through a similar situation. His ex was asking him to contribute towards child care expenses, but refusing to provide legitimate receipts.
                    Ex filed court on him for the expenses with no receipts and she was told by lawyers she needed to provide legitimate CRA approved receipts. (There is a whole run down on the CRA about this, info the receipts need to have...child care providers SIN, days times of care, etc.)

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                    • #11
                      Try to find case law where a judge orders a parent to pay a blood relative for childcare. I have never found it myself. Not saying it doesn't exist but, one oddball case does not equate to the court ordering it all the time.

                      The reality is that the probability of a court ordering you to pay a blood relative is so low and the probability of you losing is so high and having to pay costs that I wouldn't ever recommend anyone ever bother.

                      Good Luck!
                      Tyaken

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