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  • #16
    Thanks Pharah,

    We have kept every email, every text, and every payment to prove over and over again that we are trying to cooperate, put the children's needs first, and that we are willing to communicate. We have also started a video diary and intend to tape the kids melt downs to show the type of things they are being brainwashed with. Ex - "Mommy said if I wake up and your not there that she will come and get me." You can rest assured the child barely slept and was crying in anxiousness all night. Who wouldn't if you were 7 and thought daddy was going to disappear?

    At every turn it gets crazier. The parent alienation is hurting the kids so much they don't know how to just be happy kids any more. We are only going for 1st case conference April 13 so I imagine there is a long road ahead. Our situation is similar. Zero cooperation. We offered everything that is reasonable but she wants my fiancee out of her and the kids life and will stop at nothing to make this happen. 3 years a status quo of us having the kids 3 to 4 weekends a month, access at Christmas and in the summer. Now she wants sole custody and insists that he doesn't have any legal right to see his children at Christmas and summer. The separation agreement is a piece of swiss cheese as far as I am concerned as it details nothing.

    We are asking to remain joint, with parallel parenting structure. But now that she wants to upset the kids schooling and switch them a year apart to French Immersion. We wonder if this is our opening for custody to be granted to us. There is a distance between homes and if they are switching schools anyway, wouldn't it be better for them to move at the same time not a year being separated??

    I read stories like yours here and I am given hope that when all evidence is presented and one person is behaving like a tyrant that judges do in fact see what is best for the kids. We are also requesting an OCL. It'll be interesting to see what comes of that.

    Thanks for a light in the dark.

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    • #17
      Any major change can potentially mean a change in custody. That said, you have to be sure that any change you are requesting is in the best interests of the children.

      The Office of the Children's Lawyer was huge in our getting this resolution. I hope this works out for you.

      Cheers.

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      • #18
        It would be better for the kids to not be at separate schools - especially with all the emotional upset of the parental conflict. They are 6 and 7 and have always been together. If they were staying at the same school we wouldn't even consider moving them.

        How long does it take to get the OCL's involved and get their findings? Otherwise come September the kids will be torn apart regardless of what we feel is for the best of them.

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        • #19
          They are not moving schools just for the sack of it. They are moving to get involved in the French Immersion program. It is in their best interests to start this type of learning as early as possible. Languages are best/easier to learn at younger ages. You have to be careful, this is not what I would consider their best interests.

          What is your current custody/access arrangement?

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          • #20
            I agree, that french Immersion is in their best interest. I don't have issue with that. We have a school that my son goes to with the intensive french program that wouldn't require them being separated at all. They could both start in sept and the program starts in grade 4.

            We have joint custody with access on 3 to 4 weekends a month. To go to this school would require them to move and flip access but they would be together.

            The school that she intends to put them in has the youngest starting in gr 1 next year and the eldest in grade four - not for another year.

            We did not introduce the idea of switching the schools. We are simply responding to the concern that the separation will cause greater upset into two already troubled kids. We weren't even informed or asked about it when found out through the principal in one of our check in to progress calls as my partners ex refuses to keep us in the loop about anything.

            I'm all for learning French just not for putting french ahead of emotional wellbeing. If they could both start at the same time and keep the status quo, I don't think we'd fight it. I am just worried that dividing them is an easier tack to get them on board with mommies will. One child is well under the spell of "daddy doesn't love me as much as mommy" yet the youngest still is glued to daddy. Divide and conquer????

            Comment

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