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  • Office of the Children's Lawyer report

    My ex and I had our disclosure meeting with the Office of the Children's Lawyer (OCL) last week. When my ex and I separated, we agreed on joint custody with 50/50 access. Last year she filed an application with the court for sole custody when she found out I had gotten involved with an old friend.

    Our Judge requested an assessment from the OCL about 6 months ago, they have interviewed my new spouse, her daughter, my parents, the school, and so on. During the disclosure meeting, the social worker told my ex that her concerns about my care of our son have been invalidated and that she is recommending a joint custody arrangement with 50/50 access using a parallel parenting model. The SW is also recommending that my ex have final say on major medical issues and I have final say on education issues.

    This is a huge step forward for my family but I am concerned about the final say recommendations, mainly whether I will still be allowed to take my son to doctors visits as needed. Does anyone have any experience with how this works?

  • #2
    The OCL report is a recommendation - it's not set in stone - the judge will take it under advisement but it's not automatically turned into the order.

    If you agree with the final decision making power split that the OCL report suggests, you can ask the judge to allow you to attend dr's appointments - but in the end if you disagree with the medical decisions that your child's mother makes your only recourse is to bring it back to court. Likewise if she disagrees with your educational decisions.

    Good luck!

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    • #3
      OCL recommendations are endorsed by the court 80% of the time.

      Comment


      • #4
        Taking your child to the doctor for a checkup or for a strep test is not a MAJOR medical decision, it is as routine as it gets.

        You are still joint custody, and in any case you are still a parent, so you still have access to all medical records, just not a say in decisions.

        Keep in mind that a hospital does not need parent or guardian authority to provide emergency treatment or to provide life saving care. This has gone to court and been confirmed. So at both ends, routine and emergency, you have every right to take your child in without asking permission first, although personally I wouldn't be a dick about doctor's visits, don't throw gas on the fire.

        Of the two, I would happily take education, since if I could make sure the school was always in my own district this makes it easier on me, my child's friends will be nearby and it secures my custody against a future challenge a lot more than me being able to decide if my kids could have some kind of medical treatment.

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        • #5
          I would be wary of either parent having final say.. There is no reason you can't jointly have then final say and only go to court when you can't agree. My childrens mother and I communicate through a diary, yet we jointly register the kids for school, attend medical appointments and make decisions. If we cannot agree then we will go to court...

          It's not like you make 100's of majore medical and education decisions in a year.

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          • #6
            I disagree epicone. It really depends on the dynamic of the relationship between the parents. There are some parents that will fight any decision the other has made, and thus forcing it to go to court or mediation every single time. In that case allowing both parents to discuss the options and allowing one parent the final decision (in the event they don't agree) is a good option. It might not seem "fair" but neither is forcing the other parent to go to court over every little thing

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