She won't agree to divorce...what do I do?

[knackered]

And the ex's father denied me Christmas access after snatching my girlfriends insurance info out of my hand/writing it all down.
Another stupid mistake, even showing him the insurance when he asked to see it---because he said he'd give me the kids after seeing it, all I thought was "flatter him, quickly show him the insurance and get the kids" I didn't expect him to snatch it out of my hand/write down all her information.

And then his exact words to me were "I know it is your weekend with the kids, but it is Christmas and we are denying your access"

Girlfriend and I went to the police station afterwards to report it all.
Girlfriend said she was scared of ex's father creating a false report on her driving record now. Cop said there was nothing they could do, just that if he did do any false reports on her that she could charge him with making a false police report.
Girlfriend asked for a record of the incident from the cop, and he said he couldnt' give it to her.

(This is a small town---I am wondering if ex's father called them ahead of time, told them he was denying my access, so the police officer was not taking us seriously? I don't know!)

[arabian]

Well you've certainly been to hell and back. In Alberta the maintenance enforcement program has mediation services for parents to access. I don't believe it costs anything. Another thing you might request in the future, as it sounds like you will have a future in the courtroom, is "case management" where you get the same judge every time you go to court.

I don't like hearing that your lawyer told you not to go after the 1,700.00 you overpaid.

Keep in mind that the maintenance enforcement people are usually swamped with files and unfortunately things take a long time to get cancelled off your file. Your lawyer has the ability to go to a court and get a stay of proceedings until your whole case is dealt with through case management.

Have you accessed any mediation services?

[AdTheDad]

You said she cried. Assuming it was honest, you don't now why she cried. For her, I assume she sees the affair as past and the harm she did to you as justifyable, assuming no apology.

1. Do you love her or want to love her? If so, you could go out on a date and see...
2. If you don't, regardless of your other partner, then back off and look at your situation with fresh eyes. Would you ever want to deal with someone who did all that to you? No, I'm sure, but your going to have to if you have kids. give her the request in writing. If her answer after cooling off emotionally is still no, you would have to file as contested, and that will need a trial of sorts. I've heard that's expensive, but my wife's lies to the police led to a lot of court costs. the advantage is that in the trial, all things are redecided, not just confirmed automatically and I thing by my experienced justices.

as another poster said, be the good guy in your behavior, but you are still doing what you must even if with care or love for her as a former lover.

Good Luck.

[NBDad]

You've been living separate and apart for over a year. You've filed (I assume) the RC65 form with Rev. Canada AND have some sort of actual agreement outlining custody, access, support? (and equalization is long over and done with as well).

Jesus, file the paperwork yourself. Total cost is ~ $150. Attach the existing order to the forms and write "see attached order" in the fields on the divorce application.

Only caveat: If you file a divorce order, it falls under the federal divorce act and places a stay on any existing and ongoing proceeding under the family law act. Just make sure you have all your ducks in a row vis a vis Custody, access and support, in regards to a signed order.

[knackered]

Thanks NBDad, yes RC65 was done, we have a separation agreement, just recently did the amendment for an increase in child support for her on that. FRO is involved, My lawyer sent me a copy of the order to go to FRO for the increase in child support...but FRO hasn't started collecting it yet---sure that will be happening soon.

So I literally just attach the separation agreement to the papers I file?

[NBDad]

That's what I did. Mind you I did write in "see attached order" as well as the specifics FROM the order in the fields for custody/access and support.

Just quote your order directly, attach it to the paperwork and it should be a lock. Separate and apart for 1 year, she doesn't get a say in being divorced.