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  • Helping a friend

    I found this sight so I can help one of my daughters friends to some concerns she has. Her and her ex boyfriend have a signed agreement dealing with there one child that states shared custody on a 5225 schedule and it lists who has the child on holidays, just a basic agreement that says they each buy there own separate clothing, they share sec. 7 for expenses and they can ask for support. It was signed by both but it is not a court order.

    1. He is self employed but it looks like he earns much more than her. Two brand new vehicles, lots of toys in the driveway and lives in a single family home where rent is $2000 a month.
    2. She works 40 hours a week with a steady job and rents a apartment for $1100 a month.
    3. They have had this agreement for 6 years but in the last 14 months he does not want to contribute to there daughters medical monthly insurance of $20 dollars.

    4. He has not had his daughter on the schedule that was signed he only sees her every other weekend.

    5. He has not given her any child support in the last 14 months and has never given her any money for the child to have swimming lessons or soccer lessons which she enjoys very much.

    6. She had even asked him for support when they were following the schedule. And he threaten her with words.

    7. The mother loves the fact that the child is on a schedule and not going back and forth during the week.

    8. The concerns that the mother has is that if she takes the father to court and asks for child support that he is going to turn around and want the 5225 schedule so that he does not have to pay any child support.


    So what is the best solution to have this man pay and to keep in mind the best interest for this child?

  • #2
    Two results:

    A) Father decides to see the kid more, and starts following the 2255 schedule. That's great for the kid!

    B) Father decides not to see the kid, and starts paying child support. That's great for the kid!

    I don't see how this can possibly go wrong. As a side note, even in the first situation (father actually follows 5522) he might still end up paying some CS, it would just be a reduced amount. Then the kid super duper wins. Kid gets to see the father AND mom's household has money.

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    • #3
      I agree with you 100% that is exactly what I explained to her. Since a lawyer is not in her reach to afford I explained that she file a Motion asking for child support and arrears on child support and the arrears owing to sec. 7 expenses. I explained to her that even though he does not report his true income to CCRA does she prove to the courts how much money he actually earns? He has car payments, rent, food, insurance, gas. I know for a fact that the vehicles are under his name and there are monthly payments that are made. ($900 for two vehicles) And how far back is it that she is able to go back to have arrears owing to her? Thank you for helping

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      • #4
        How long has he been seeing the child on this new schedule? She could apply to have the agreement updated to reflect the status quo arrangement, with an adjustment to child support and section 7 expenses. They both need to provide updated financial disclosure. She should be able to provide documented proof of the current schedule as well as her requests for his financial contributions. Either way, child support should be updated.

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        • #5
          How do you know so much about your friends ex financial situation?

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          • #6
            You are asking me how do I know so much about my daughter friends ex? Very simple, go on MLS and see how much they are asking for rent is in the area for the identical home and the stickers on all the vehicles she said are his birthday month.

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            • #7
              On the new schedule it has been over a year. So in anyone's opinion can she apply to the courts and stick to this schedule? I once read that you can only request CS for 3 years back? Can anyone comment on that.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Codename View Post
                You are asking me how do I know so much about my daughter friends ex? Very simple, go on MLS and see how much they are asking for rent is in the area for the identical home and the stickers on all the vehicles she said are his birthday month.
                I get that but you said he was paying 900 a month in car payments. He may be just leasing the cars.

                It is in the childs best interest to have equal contact with both parents. If he wants to go back (and stick with) the schedule before then that is great for the child. Either way she will have to go to court and get this sorted out. Maybe send him a registered letter saying that if he will not live up to the orginal agreement then she will be forced to take him to court to update CS and the custody arrangements. It may be enough to get his ass in gear and do what he is suppose to do.

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                • #9
                  I asked her how she knows about the cars. Buying/leasing two vehicles with a total value of $60,000 (2017) and $55,000(2018) she did the math and estimated at $900.00 dollars. I totally agree with you in equal contact and my suggestion was to make a motion for arrears of Sec 7 and motion on the arrears of CS. Off set will be applied when the child was 50/50 and then there will be the full time of 14 months. Yes if he wants to go back to the original schedule it is very important that the child sees both parents. Or let the judge decide what is best now that the child is older (8 years old) and is on a schedule with school and activities and the father never once involved himself even attending an event with the child. I have to tell you that even when the child was 50/50 the mother informed me that she never scheduled not even swimming lesson on the fathers time, so not to disrupt his time with the child. And when the mother asked for him to share the swimming lessons the response was and I quote from an email I read, "I never took swimming lessons and I know how to swim, just because you took lessons doesn't mean that they need to have lessons". "You want swimming lessons so you pay for them". Now that's a lovely answer don't you think. Not wanting to pay $30 dollars he comes up with such a small minded answer. So tell me, in todays time mind you 99% of us now know how to read and write and have at least a grade 12 education (He is 32) what kind of thinking does this person have. Is it more important for him to buy the latest iPhone $1000 or to drive a new car. As I once read, just because your grandfather beat your father with a stick and your father beat you with a belt doesn't mean you beat your kids.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    sounds like she will probably have to take this to court to get all the details ironed out.

                    I never had swimming lessons but I am a firm believer that kids should at least learn the basics. I can swim but it isnt pretty lol.

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                    • #11
                      Swimming lessons are not an extraordinary expense. They are extracurricular. Both words start with the same 5 letters but mean something entire entirely different.

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                      • #12
                        The important item in this is that there has been a change in custody/access. They had shared offset custody/support and now they don’t.

                        The parent with more custody should advise the other parent that the schedule has not been in accordance with the original agreement and she will be filing to update. Then she should file a motion for child support based on the new schedule.

                        WHEN he responds, then she can request updated financial information BUT she must accept the fact that his lifestyle with a new partner IS NONE OF HER BUSINESS. What is relevant for support purposes is his income. If he is self employed then she should brush up on what to ask for.

                        Tell your friend to stop letting all the excess noise cloud her vision otherwise its going to a be long painful road full of expenses and pettiness. If her ex chooses to be an EOW dad then thats on him. Commentary and opinions on it mean nothing. If he chooses to be an EOW dad then he will be responsible for contributing to that life for his child.

                        *before you bash me, Im not saying he IS an EOW dad but at this point the status quo is this way. The full time parents on this forum step up immediately. This guy gives them a bad name.

                        Comment

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