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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 07-22-2009, 09:09 AM
masterplan masterplan is offline
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I apologize in advance if something similar has been discussed before.

I married my wife in December 2007 and we later separated in June 2008. We were renting a place at that time. I moved back with my parents and she later moved to another town approximately 40 minutes away. When I moved out the only things I took with me were my clothes and my computer. She kept everything (television, furniture, etc).

Here is my problem: I contacted her in November 2008 after we decided that we would not be getting back together and to proceed with a divorce. I mentioned that we should split the assets that are now in her possession. However, she has refused on the basis that since I only took my clothes and computer, I have no right to ask for anything (that is right, she is crazy).

The other issue is debt. At the date of separation there was approx. $20,000 in debt. On the loan agreement I am the primary and she is the secondary. I have made all payments since the date of separation. I have asked her to pay for her half, but she has refused on the basis that she has no money. I later found out that she went on vacation with her boyfriend and is working full-time. I have a copy of the loan agreement with her signature. I also have a copy from the bank of all the payments made on the loan since the date of separation and I have matched those payments to my bank statement as proof that I have been making all payments.

I have filed all the necessary divorce documents and have requested an equalization payment. My ex has been served with the documents and the 30 days that she has to respond is going to expire on Friday.

I guess I was just wondering what everyones opinion of my situation is and any recommendations anyone has for the rest of this process. Thanks in advance for the help.
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Old 07-23-2009, 10:11 AM
AnnainOntario AnnainOntario is offline
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My husband changed the locks on our home and I was left with nothing. I had to get a court order asking that a date be set when I could pick up the items we settled on. There were thousands of dollars worth of items not settled. We went to a case conference, settlement conferences, mediation.... nothing was settled. Finally, we went to trial. Only a final support order was issued. The judge couldn't rule on equalization because we didn't have the items appraised. The lawyers were suppose to arrange this but it didn't happen. At the trial I presented pictures, quotes and documents showing replacement costs. I took the amount and divided it in 1/2 or 1/4 of the amount. This was worthless. Any item that belonged to you alone prior to your marriage is yours. If you have anyone who can fill out an affidavit stating those items belonged to you, that will help. Because the rest of the items, I am assuming, were purchased during your marriage it may help if you have receipts. And if they were purchased on your said debt, and she chooses to keep the items, she can be liable to pay more on the debt. My ex withdrew money from our credit line account after separation and was liable for this amount on top of 1/2. You could list the items, any proof you have and present them at your settlement conference. You may have to get it court ordered to have the items appraised.
Regarding your debt. This may be a bit of a problem. First go to the bank and have them place the debt on a reduced basis only. Meaning nothing more can be added to the debt. Both your names are on the debt. She is just as responsible as you, as a co-signer. My ex and I had a consent court order stating he is liable for his amount and I was liable for mine. I paid my amount but he didn't. The order stated that he is liable and shall idemnify and save me harmless. I didn't have the money to pay his portion so it went into collections with the bank. The bank does not accept court orders from a divorce proceeding. He had money left from his share of the sale of our home. I had it court ordered that he pay this money towards the debt. My ex claimed bankruptcy and now I am solely liable for the remaining debt. In my case, my husband has been hiding his assets, so I can't go to court and ask the judge to order monies be taken from his employment or other assets. I've even had him found in contempt for not obeying the original consent order. While he was going through his bankruptcy process, I took him to court again, hoping the judge could do something. She ordered that he makes payments towards support with FRO until the debt is paid in full. The bankruptcy cannot touch support orders. The problem is, he isn't paying the support either. Eventually, it catches up with him because FRO helps me ie. suspended his driver's license, reported to credit bureau, etc. But basically, no payments unless I can find his assets. Now, I should mention the judge that found him in contempt, refused to put it through FRO, where the 2nd felt it was absolutely necessary. She felt that if I knew he wasn't going to pay the debt, that I would have asked for more spousal support to cover the debt. He also, didn't claim me in his bankruptcy, but I'm presently opposing it anyway. You need to get a judgement on this debt were she is found liable. Once there is a judgement, you can place a lien on her property, garnish her wages, etc. My advise is to continue paying the debt off. My credit rating is damaged because I assumed the bank would accept the orders. With the words "indemnify and save harmless" included it means if you paid the debt, you can sue her. Divorce proceedings can take a very long time. There are steps to be taken. I would act on those steps as quickly as possible and keep moving. Try not to get frustrated with the process or with her, it will do you more harm (keep all communication documented, ie, e-mails). Always stick to the facts when filling out documents (judges are not concerned with your emotions, only facts). Have the mindset that this is a business venture. If you can't afford a lawyer, make appointments with as many as you can. Most will give you a 1/2 free consultation. Be prepared by writing your questions down and don't waste your 1/2 hr. talking about how she screwed you. I'm not sure where you are from but there is alot of info. you can get from the court offices in your area, regarding the court process, forms, fees, etc. If you are from Ontario Canada, I can give you a link.
I hope I've helped and all the best to you.
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Old 07-23-2009, 01:17 PM
masterplan masterplan is offline
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Thanks for advice regarding the assets and the debt.

I am not too worried about the assets. Their total value is approx. $4,000 so I am not too worried about receiving payment from my ex for my half of the value. I don't have any receipts, but I could probably get them if I had to. My main concern is the debt.

Thanks for the advice about the debt. I have been making all the payments so my credit rating wouldn't be ruined and there is no way she can increase any of the debt. It isn't so much that I cannot afford to pay it off it's just that I don't want this divorce to be a way for her to escape this debt. The horrible part is the debt belonged to her before I met her. I took out the loan to help her out and now she has left me with it to pay by myself.

I have consulted a lawyer a few times. The consultation fee was $75. The lawyer was okay and helped me get started on the process. I am just not sure what my odds are of getting my wife to pay for her half of the debt. I am not too worried about this dragging on. I know my ex cannot afford a lawyer and so therefore cannot afford to drag this on either. I am hoping she comes to her senses and begins to pay.

Another thing I was wondering about was that I filed the divorce papers along with all the other necessary paperwork. I then sent her a copy. She has 30 days to respond and file her own paperwork and give me a copy. However, she hasn't done that yet. If she doesn't file anything by 30 days, what happens?

On a side note. It is sad the mentality of some people. I have read other posts by members and it seems everyone has a story about their ex acting childish. I guess it is one thing that we all have in common.
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