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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 07-19-2006, 05:11 PM
BestDad BestDad is offline
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First time poster, long time lurker.

I have 50-50 shared custody of my 5 year old son, as dictated in a separation agreement. There's a disagreement looming over summer vacation, where the issue is taking our son out of the province for two weeks. Our current custody schedule is based on alternating 2 days during the week and alternating full weekends, which works fine given the age.

Obviously a 2 week holiday breaks up this schedule and my concerns are over the period of time my son will be away. Plus I have concerns that this may not be in his best interest due to other factors.

I assume the parent must ask for agreement to this ahead of time, but are there any issues with the fact that this is out of province? What if one of the parents does not agree? What are the legalities around this situation?
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Old 07-19-2006, 10:18 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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BestDad,

welcome to the forum

Regardless of a custody regime in place each parent would need the other parent's permission in advance to take the child out of province. This is only courteous and proper.

Your child is somewhat older and if the matter is litigated, the court may choose either stance or they may ask questions in regards to the the intended vacation. Its a roll of the dice. I suspect the court would allow the vacation.

If one parent takes the child for a two week straight vacation, would it not be proper for the other to take the same amount of time.


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Old 07-20-2006, 04:57 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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I just want to build on what LV stated. It is always courteous and good form to inform each other of any out of town travel... even to a close by city. Some people find this invasive or controlling. I just think it makes sense. In case of emergency, accident, illness, help, etc.

I personally found it very annoying having my child describe a city they visited the previous week with my ex without me knowing. A simple "I'm flying to Calgary with Bobby Sue next week for 3 days. Just thought I would let you know" would do.

Now, you do not need permission to travel outside your province. You do need permission to leave the country (i.e via a notorized travel letter). The border security may not let you leave the country without one and it is a big no-no.

Since there about 8 weeks in the summer, you can divide it up any way you like. And as LV stated, if she gets 2 weeks, you should also get 2 weeks. Although, if you don't need them, you don't have to have them. Most people just divide the summer in half anyway (in 1 week blocks, 2 week blocks or 4 week blocks). Some people will just keep their regular week on and week off schedule and then add a week to each. The variations are endless.

As for legall stuff. Most likely anyone would win a vacation request. Unless they are at risk of fleeing, kidnapping, etc. A motion takes about 10 weeks so you will never see one this summer. Unless they do an emergency motion... which I have never done for summer vacation (can't recall why??).
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Old 08-05-2006, 01:07 AM
my2suns my2suns is offline
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I'm all for letting the children experience all he/she can, when presented the opportunity. I'm against keeping it a secret. What's she hiding? a guy? Anyhow, We live in the states, and when we moved out of the area, what we did to replace our regular scheduled visits ( every wed, and every other w/end) with my step children, we talked it over with their mom, and we "got them" every school break, and their school got every 3rd friday off, so we'd have them thurs-sun night, and every holiday, unless she was going somewhere with them.
I mean, I know there are laws, but sometimes, if you can agree to agree on different arrangements amongst yourselves, you are probably better off in doing so, vs getting courts involved.
just my opinion.
Been there and done that... all of it.
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