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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 08-17-2012, 08:30 PM
caranna caranna is offline
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Default A Judge's View on Custody

I started to re-read a book "A Judge's Guide to Divorce" by Judge Roderic Duncan. The first page opened up to this message and for what it's worth, here it is:

Wisdom From the Bench - By Judge Thomas R. Murphy, retired, San Diego Superior Court. Judge Murphy says he began every child custody trial that was assigned to his courtroom with the following speech, which summarizes the reality, pain, and possibility in every court-determined case involving custody and visitation issues.

"The two of you are asking me to decide some very important issues affecting the lives of your children. That's going to be a bit difficult because, although I'll hear from you about these children, I won't personally know about you or them. Unlike you, I don't love your children, and I never will. (bold font mine.) Unfortunately, you know subtle little things difficult to put into words about what is best for your children-things that will never come out here in court.

"Proceeding with a trial on these issues is going to cost you quite a bit in attorney's fees-that's money that could otherwise be spent for your children's college education. Before going ahead with a trial, you should consider carefully whose college education you want to pay for-your children's or your attorney's children's.

Before we get started, I want you to go with your attorneys into the conference room across the hall and make one last attempt to agree on a custody plan that is best for your children. If you are not able to do so, come back into court and I will make those decisions for you.

My decision will not be nearly as good as any plan the two of you agree upon. But I will do it if you can't."
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Old 08-17-2012, 09:16 PM
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hadenough hadenough is offline
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That is a great speech and one that should be repeated. Thank you for posting that!!
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Old 08-17-2012, 09:22 PM
caranna caranna is offline
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You're welcome. It's funny...that was where the book opened to when I was about to read it. Hope it helps.
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Old 08-17-2012, 10:49 PM
ringettteplayer ringettteplayer is offline
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that is a great speech! thanks for posting
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