A new low for my ex?

[Nadia]

The clause reads as follows:

"The party removing the children shall provide the other with general information pertaining to his/her departure, including addresses and telephones where the children will be staying and a travel itinerary and copies of air tickets if travel by air is involved. The parties shall not require letters of permission in order to leave Canada with the children."

I am not sure why this information can not be shared. I've received no information whatsoever.

It would be pointless addressing any breach of the court order after the fact. Why would I pursue this matter in court after the fact? To what effect? Its not going to help the children much if Dad has to go to court for breaching his own court order?

Slug head, it may come as a surprise to you, but some of us actually prefer not to go to court unless it is "absolutely" necessary.

It is easier just to try and comply with the court order.

[Nadia]

Because "He" would expect me to provide him this information, if the positions were reversed. I am sure he would like to know where I was taking the children, where we were planning on staying and would want me to provide him with a number that he could contact the kids on. If I didn't provide him with ALL this information, he would be at the Airport with police officers in tow accusing me of absconding with the children and then he would drag me to court alleging contempt.

[dinkyface]

Nadia ... is that REALLY the reason?

[mcdreamy]

Nadia, you just have to put Slug on your ignore list.

He likes to play the victim and represent the fathers here, when in fact:
he and his ex played the welfare system for years with their ongoing brood of kids born in alcohol and drugs; he's successfully completely alienated the mother, presumably due to her dependencies and his inadequacies as a fellow parent; he continues to intentionally (and successfully, it appears) deliberately avoid the reuniting of their children with their mother.

he even offers his assvice on 50/50 scheduling! haa.. really?

and yet he whines, poor poor me and you are a bad, bad mother.

In the meantime, he actually is the male parallel of all of the worst ex-wife/mother posts we have seen posted here by the men on our sites. And there are some crazy ex-wives/mothers out there = meet Slug.
He plays the system. And then he screams victim.

This is not someone you need to be taking assvice from or even consider his hurtful comments as a reflection on your parenting skills. He sucks at parenting skills.

I've had him on ignore for the last several months and just undid that feature to see why he could possibly be posting/critisizing your initial post.
Yup... he's going back on ignore.

[mcdreamy]

Nadia ... is that REALLY the reason?

Would you offer up the passports to your ex, with no information as to travel arrangements? I'm pretty good with my ex, but if he asked for the passport, I'd have to ask ... umm where ya going? Relevant information, imo.

How about: I'd like to plan a fun trip with the kids, to "here", and I have time off work from Aug 14 - Aug 26. Could you please send the passports along when they come next. If I need a consent letter, I'll let you know.

See how easy that is?

[Nadia]

No, Dinky it isn't. Its been a very long day.

[Nadia]

Done. Added to Ignore list.

[hadenough]

Applause for Mcdreamy. Slug is a bottom-feeder. Nadia, your ex is so much like mine it's sickening. They will never change. Just celebrate, as I'm sure you do, that you are no longer married to the jack-ass!

[TLCRN]

As a Judge told my ex years ago when he asked for an Order for passports to be issued without my permission; the first question the Judge asked was: "why would do request you such order? and not informed you ex where you are taking the children? as obviously your are going out of the Country if requesting passports, No? unless you have something to hide and have plans not to return with the children".
The motion was denied. Both parents consent/letter is required according to Passport Canada in order to take the children out of the counrty unless an Court Order says otherwise.
The well being and welfare of the children is both parents responsibility, therefore, why not discuss travel plans as any other issues like education etc..

[Tayken]

don't really care what a custody evaluator would say...and if i remember correctly you have written about your thoughts of them in other posts<suck and blow at the same time?>.

Actually quite the opposite. I see grey in things unlike the "black and white" world you live in. You constantly equate critical thinking to "black and white" (binary) thinking.

I have stated that I think systemic changes outlining the guide lines for which professionals (registered clinicians) conduct these evaluations needs to be put in place. And like all opinions given to court the custody and access evaluator's is not final.

But, in this matter I highly doubt that you would find any custody and access evaluator in our country who wouldn't raise the issue to the court in the report that the parent is involving the child inappropriately in the matter.

you assume he had the kids call and so did the op. the ex provided an explanation which in my opinion was reasonable.

That is your opinion. I hold a different opinion. The call originated from the other parent's home. Something was said that prompted the child to ask for the passport. Was it something the other parent said? Was it a direct request? Either way the child felt a responsibility to "solve the problem" and not the adults. A very sad situation when a child is either forced to or feels compelled to do this.

i gave the opinion it was none of her business how he deals with their children as it is none of his business how she deals with them.

Not when the conduct of the other parent is potentially hostile and potentially aggressive parenting.

if the travel plans are required for him to travel and he doesn't provide the details don't provide the passports but quit whining about how he deals with the kids on his time.

Children are not pawns in this matter or "messengers" between parents. It is not in their "best interests" to do this. Feel free to search CanLII and read the CLRA to better educate yourself prior to responding. This type of conduct and the judgments against it are quite easy to find in CanLII in all jurisdictions and the opinions of the court too.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Mess]

so you stoop to the same level as him? let your kids have their vacation and if you don't want to deal with it in court then don't or withhold the passports and the kids don't get their vacation....


you hold the cards whats in the best interest of the kids? if you have no safety concerns but are miffed because he won't share info then put your feelings aside and let the kids go

perhaps you could provide a cell phone to one of the kids for contact

or you can play his game.....

my opinion quit your whining and make up your mind.....i don't agree with him not providing info but you can't fix stupid

him discussing travel with the kids may not be what you would choose to do but he does....their is nothing you can do about it and it really is none of your business.

get over it

She is not stooping to his level.

What she is doing is setting reasonable personal boundaries and expectations.

She is expecting that the separation agreement be adhered to.

She is expecting to be treated as she would treat others.

She is expecting that she know the travel itinerary of her children.

She is ready to co-operate with the other parent on the understanding that co-operation is a two way street.

She is willing and capable to set a hard boundary to that co-operation. When the other parent is ignoring the separation agreement and ignoring her very natural needs as parent, she is withdrawing co-operation and support. In other words, she is refusing to be a doormat, which in the long run is in the best interests of her children, not just in this short term example, but as a long term demonstration of adult character.

Slughead, I have to ask you to stand down on this. You stated your opinion clearly in your first post. Since then you have just been repeating the same thing over and over. This type of behaviour is just spamming the board. If you have something additional to add, please feel free to state it. If you are just going to repeat the same point over and over, it is unnecessary; we can all read.

[LauraR]

My husbands agreement says that both parties have to give notice about vacations and any excursion out of the country. We went to Florida with all our kids and requested notes from both our ex's saying we had permission to take them from this date until this date. Apparently you can have problems at the border without consent. If he wants to be ignorant to you, maybe the border will teach him a lesson or two. Good luck, I hope he comes to his senses and acts more reasonable.

[Pursuinghappiness]

....he and his ex played the welfare system for years with their ongoing brood of kids born in alcohol and drugs; he's successfully completely alienated the mother, presumably due to her dependencies and his inadequacies as a fellow parent; he continues to intentionally (and successfully, it appears) deliberately avoid the reuniting of their children with their mother.

Interesting...and not surprising at all and its not the first time that I've felt extreme pity for the children that have to suffer such a father.

He likes to play the victim and represent the fathers here, when in fact:

My opinion is that Slughead is simply a person who gets very little attention in real life...particularly from women...and so comes here to get some. He strikes me as a person who's "invisible" in real life and has a serious case of Napolean complex. He's basically an "attention whore."

He comes here, says outrageous things, ticks everyone off and gets what he can't get in real life. He targets women in particular because he wants female attention most of all since I bet he's repulsive to them in normal life.

I've never seen him sincerely try to help anyone...particularly not any of the men here.

Again, just my opinion and I agree with using the ignore function. Its silly to get riled up over someone who's so insignificant that they spend their day trying to instigate arguments.


Back on topic...should a standard travel letter be included as part of a separation agreement? I added such a section in my draft parenting plan but if you give the ex a "blank" generic one...it could potentially prevent them from having to notify you in the event they take a vacation. I think the OP (and parents in general) have a right to know where their kids are.

[hadenough]

PH: I believe the B.A.U. (In Quantico) could benefit from your profiling abilities. Mess also summed up many good points above, as of course did Tayken. My ex also attempts to use the child as a messenger. It's annoying and unacceptable. Furthermore, as I've seen first-hand, it does stress the child. There is absolutely no excuse for that. It really is a shame how many out there just "don't get it."

Nadia: my ex hits all time lows on a regular basis. Just this week, another one. Not worth going into, but seriously -- "pathetic" doesn't even begin to describe the latest "low."

My son is fast learning all on his own to have little/no expectations of his father. Better for him to have that outlook than to think in any way, shape or form, that he is deserving of such nonsense. Or that somehow the behavior is normal/acceptable. He (son) KNOWS that it is not.

[Nadia]

Thank you for all the support.

Unfortunately, as some might have gathered from previous threads ours is a very high conflict situation.

If I didn't have my wits about me, I would have lost custody and all access to the children a long a time ago, most likely would have been arrested several times on false allegations and in all truth and honesty would be sitting in some loony bin having lost my mind.