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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #41  
Old 07-27-2012, 11:26 AM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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Congrats Zenna.

I went through a very similar thing with being bashed to anyone and everyone. I just held my head up high and ignored it. Frankly, it was exactly what I needed. It helped me since had zero feelings of guilt or regret about leaving my marriage. How could I feel badly about leaving behind someone who would sink to that level during divorce...even to the point of harming his own children?

Interestingly enough, my new partner was also separated and going through a mediated divorce. He treated and continued to treat his ex-wife and mother of his children with absolute respect throughout the process. He gave her a very generous settlement...was always polite and kind to her during conversations...and never sank to trying to hurt her feelings even when she was barraging him with insults. It helped me know that I picked the right guy this time.

I am very proud that I have never and will never sink to my ex's level...no matter what may come. Its just not who I am and I'm long over reacting to his negativity...that's why I left. I've always been positive and happy and divorce isn't going to make me bitter or change who I fundamentally am.

If you want to really know who someone is...watching the way they handle a divorce can be extremely illuminating. When you can be fair, decent, honest and positive when the worst things are happening to you...then you truly are a good person.

Best wishes to you and your family Zenna.
  #42  
Old 07-27-2012, 11:43 AM
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zenna70 zenna70 is offline
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Pursuing...
I think you and I can share some stories...I thank you for your kind words and understanding.

Divorce for me was easy bc I was emotionally detached from HIM. My focus was my kids and going back to school and moving on with my life. I did what needed to be done and like I said I never looked back.
I got councelling for my kids (he didnt consent...judge did
I helped them through the process and we "talk" about everything. I don't want my kids to be put off from marriage. I want them to love with all their hearts.

I too am with a new partner who was separated when I met him ...he too was very generous, respectful and always, always has his kids' best interest at heart. He never bashed his ex and I envy that bc they are friends and they co-parent their kids... as it should be. I have also become acquainted with her and it's been a great experience. My kids see the respect that both ex's have for eachother and they wish that for me and my ex..I do too...for the kids sake.

Life is too short for anger and resentment. A lot has happened to me these passed few years and my kids have seen me at my most emotional low when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. They have grown emotionally and spiratually during this hard time and I am so grateful that they have stayed on a strong and focused path.

Best wishes to you as well...Z
  #43  
Old 07-27-2012, 01:17 PM
FaithandMorals FaithandMorals is offline
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I like the last few posts to this thread. It is important for me, and I suspect most others, to keep focused that these family law troubles are leadin to (I hope for most) much happier times.
Of course I realize some here will never get to this serenity (sorry WD) but it is uplifting to believe the conflict will end.
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