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What was the main reason for your relationship breakdown?

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  • #61
    This poll really should be revamped. Infidelity should be added. As well as my wife/husband was gay and one for sexual incompatibility. My friends husband was a cross dresser so she lost interest in him sexually and had numerous affairs. Who do you blame for that one? Odd thing is they got back together 13 years ago and are doing fine now.

    I also want to know how many people totally blame their spouse. I love when people turn the once love of their life into the most evil person in creation.

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    • #62
      Originally posted by Unatic View Post
      This poll really should be revamped. Infidelity should be added. As well as my wife/husband was gay and one for sexual incompatibility. My friends husband was a cross dresser so she lost interest in him sexually and had numerous affairs. Who do you blame for that one? Odd thing is they got back together 13 years ago and are doing fine now.

      I also want to know how many people totally blame their spouse. I love when people turn the once love of their life into the most evil person in creation.
      Take the initiative and start a poll ... you have the capability. lol

      By the way - welcome to the forum.

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      • #63
        What I find most interesting is that there always has to be someone to 'blame'. Why? Why not just accept that your marriage broke down for whatever reason on your/their part and move on? People spend so much time trying to figure out who is to blame and it never really does any good, most of the time just makes everything worse. Blech.

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        • #64
          Ok, but first could we get some input on what categories people want added?

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          • #65
            Originally posted by Unatic View Post
            Ok, but first could we get some input on what categories people want added?
            Few "Infidelity" requests earlier in the thread rather than grouped under "Other"

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            • #66
              Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
              What I find most interesting is that there always has to be someone to 'blame'. Why? Why not just accept that your marriage broke down for whatever reason on your/their part and move on? People spend so much time trying to figure out who is to blame and it never really does any good, most of the time just makes everything worse. Blech.
              great reasoning...accept change and move forward.

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              • #67
                I have a problem with 'blame'....right up there with guilt and regret. I just don't believe in it. I believe in accepting responsibility for your own life and choices whether that be with family, friends, work or whatever, learning from your choices (there are no mistakes in life - only choices) and proving it by not repeating them, making every effort to do better.

                IMHO, guilt, blame and regret are a waste of energy and tend to just cause negative emotions which are both contagious and toxic.
                Last edited by blinkandimgone; 05-27-2010, 07:38 PM. Reason: the voices told me to

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                • #68
                  Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                  I have a problem with 'blame'....right up there with guilt and regret. I just don't believe in it. I believe in accepting responsibility for your own life and choices whether that be with family, friends, work or whatever, learning from your choices (there are no mistakes in life - only choices) and proving it by not repeating them, making every effort to do better.

                  IMHO, guilt, blame and regret are a waste of energy and tend to just cause negative emotions which are both contagious and toxic.

                  Right on. Move on.

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                  • #69
                    Mine was infidelity. In fact, I have adultery as the cause of divorce on my divorce order. I was only the third man that my lawyer ever represented that got that!

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                    • #70
                      Ditto

                      Same story as Kenny [although the divorce filing hasn't started]. First relationship I decided to not have of any "backdoors". In other words no contingency should the relationship go sour. No escape funds [went into renos to her house]. Our first anniversary is this Sunday, June 6. yay.

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                      • #71
                        What was the main reason for your relationship breakdown?

                        Adultery is hard to prove. Basically the adulteress(r) has to admit it or the person she/she committed adultery with has to own up to it in court. Mine was a combination of the two. Of course, there is the funny TV type scenario where the private investigator kicks the door in and takes picture. If that was to happen, good luck in getting a judge to allow them.

                        My Saturday two cents.

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                        • #72
                          Sad really, he left with no indication of a problem in the relationship 23 years and just a letter saying it's time to go our own way. But moving on going on Monday to sign final seperation agreement, nothing left to say or do it's over and yes it hurts lots but what can I do, he is a very selfish man who got his own way through out the relationship, we have 3 grown sons that don't have the time of day for him. He doesn't bother with the boys, just a man that wants to party with his buds!! he will be a very lonely old man one day!

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                          • #73
                            Not sure what really happened,can across as lack of communication but there was no connection between the two of us.

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                            • #74
                              having a emotional affair with a male friend who was also a friend of mine.

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                              • #75
                                Having an affair with someone who worked for her. Sure puts those company socials in a more humiliating light. Couldn't someone have said something?

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