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Spousal Support - help me understand please!

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  • #31
    I can now research my own Case Law. Until I joined this forum, I didn't know about CANLII - guess that make me "stupid and lame".

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    • #32
      I guess coming to the forum helped you after all then. You're welcome.

      Comment


      • #33
        Logicalvelocity - I read somewhere on this forum that the only good responses given are from you. That whatever you say is reliable.

        Well I'd like to add that you are extremely helpful and intelligent. Thanks for taking the time to read my thread and for trying to give me some really constructive feedback and advice. I'd be happy to share the outcome with you.

        The judge was furious with my Ex and his lawyer.

        We spent the better part of a day with the judge - spread over a 2 day Trial Management Conference. Judge actually walked through our record and offered her breakdown based on the facts presented and made several recommendations for settlement. And not because I'm bragging or trying to make myself look good, but her recommendations were exactly what I've been presenting as a settlement offer for the past 3 years. My Lawyer and I both said we accept the offer. He refused said it was no where near enough.

        This is the first time in 3 years that a judge actually talked about the impact to my 3 kids - which could now actually be done because of the Children's lawyer and social assist disclosure report. The judge tried to get my Ex to move towards settlement for their sake. They stayed adamant in their position - the biggest one being the house because they insist it's worth $140K more than the purchase price, yet have failed to get it appraised. He was ordered to get the house appraised 2 years ago and didn't. I did get it appraised 2 years ago and he wouldn't accept it.

        The second issue for them is Spousal Support from me - demanding some bogus number based on manufactured calculations. We had the divorcemate numbers and they were clear where that would land. Remember, I have been ready to waive Child support since day 1 just to keep the peace - he continues to try to convince everyone - without any hard facts - that I owe him Spousal support and he owes me nothing. His Child support obligation based on income is $925/month. I haven’t seen a dime. FRO finally kicks in this month.

        Final outcome - They insisted on May sittings for trial. The judge said NO TRIAL because my Ex has yet to provide any evidence and said they are not ready for trial. I have yet to see a financial statement from him. I have 3 years of sworn financial statements. New Trial Management scheduled for end of September. The judge told both lawyers to work a deal. My lawyer said “your honour, she’s been trying for 3 years. Judge told my Ex that unless he got really lucky, no Trial judge was going to be unsympathetic to what he’s put me and the kids through.

        So I guess I’m back in court in September.

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        • #34
          Assign blame all the way to next Tuesday.

          You're still party to a ridicululously long court involvement and the "no trial" comment by the judge and you're willingness to engage in the blame game tells me that you love the drama.

          You're lame - send LOTS of cash.

          I'm a parent, not a lawyer.

          Comment


          • #35
            "Logicalvelocity - I read somewhere on this forum that the only good responses given are from you. That whatever you say is reliable. "

            I believe the quote was that LV only gives good responses, not the LV is the ONLY one who gives good responses.

            This forum may not be 'working for you' because you seem to only be happy when people tell you what you want to hear and unfortunately for you it doesn't work that way.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
              This forum may not be 'working for you' because you seem to only be happy when people tell you what you want to hear and unfortunately for you it doesn't work that way.
              No kidding!!! Got that right.

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by Stressed by Ex View Post
                Logicalvelocity - I read somewhere on this forum that the only good responses given are from you. That whatever you say is reliable.

                Well I'd like to add that you are extremely helpful and intelligent. Thanks for taking the time to read my thread and for trying to give me some really constructive feedback and advice. I'd be happy to share the outcome with you.

                The judge was furious with my Ex and his lawyer.

                We spent the better part of a day with the judge - spread over a 2 day Trial Management Conference. Judge actually walked through our record and offered her breakdown based on the facts presented and made several recommendations for settlement. And not because I'm bragging or trying to make myself look good, but her recommendations were exactly what I've been presenting as a settlement offer for the past 3 years. My Lawyer and I both said we accept the offer. He refused said it was no where near enough.

                This is the first time in 3 years that a judge actually talked about the impact to my 3 kids - which could now actually be done because of the Children's lawyer and social assist disclosure report. The judge tried to get my Ex to move towards settlement for their sake. They stayed adamant in their position - the biggest one being the house because they insist it's worth $140K more than the purchase price, yet have failed to get it appraised. He was ordered to get the house appraised 2 years ago and didn't. I did get it appraised 2 years ago and he wouldn't accept it.

                The second issue for them is Spousal Support from me - demanding some bogus number based on manufactured calculations. We had the divorcemate numbers and they were clear where that would land. Remember, I have been ready to waive Child support since day 1 just to keep the peace - he continues to try to convince everyone - without any hard facts - that I owe him Spousal support and he owes me nothing. His Child support obligation based on income is $925/month. I haven’t seen a dime. FRO finally kicks in this month.

                Final outcome - They insisted on May sittings for trial. The judge said NO TRIAL because my Ex has yet to provide any evidence and said they are not ready for trial. I have yet to see a financial statement from him. I have 3 years of sworn financial statements. New Trial Management scheduled for end of September. The judge told both lawyers to work a deal. My lawyer said “your honour, she’s been trying for 3 years. Judge told my Ex that unless he got really lucky, no Trial judge was going to be unsympathetic to what he’s put me and the kids through.

                So I guess I’m back in court in September.
                To me thats the problem. All they accomplished to was to establish three years of unnecessary cost to the parents at the expense to the kids. Amounts to a few years of post secondary education for same.

                Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                Assign blame all the way to next Tuesday.

                You're still party to a ridicululously long court involvement and the "no trial" comment by the judge and you're willingness to engage in the blame game tells me that you love the drama.

                You're lame - send LOTS of cash.

                I'm a parent, not a lawyer.
                and they are gridlocked -

                Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                "Logicalvelocity - I read somewhere on this forum that the only good responses given are from you. That whatever you say is reliable. "

                I believe the quote was that LV only gives good responses, not the LV is the ONLY one who gives good responses.

                This forum may not be 'working for you' because you seem to only be happy when people tell you what you want to hear and unfortunately for you it doesn't work that way.
                Agreed. Dadtotheend, Mess, Blink, Sillyme and all other members - All valuable views not to be overlooked.

                Stressed,

                Collectively, we learn from each and thats what a forum is all about. The members have significant experience with diverse background. They aren't against you but have determined your matters deficiencies based on what information you provided.

                So whats your next step-Offer to Settle? Your grid locked by way of motion without leave. You have no order for Trial in place yet. It's not automatic.

                Have you considered Form 20 and Form 22 at this point. Powerful tools to use if used properly to induce Settlement -


                Ultimately, Form 20 and 22 can form part of the TRIAL record - Book of Exhibits (basically the interim untested affidavit material) which should be prepared. Book of authorities which you will rely on. Witness List for Summons -- Your lawyer should know about these and if they go on to prepare its going to be expensive for both parents at the detriment to your kids.

                Settle and compromise and do whats best for your kids. At the end of the day, you and the other party are both parents to the children equally.

                by the way - I am a parent.
                Last edited by logicalvelocity; 04-17-2010, 03:21 PM.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Implore the judge to put you on the trial listings.

                  It's a travesty that you have allowed it to get this far.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                    Implore the judge to put you on the trial listings.

                    It's a travesty that you have allowed it to get this far.

                    DTTE, great idea...

                    In my experience, another parent once suggested to write the respective Justice and request that they remain seized to the matter. Of course - Sent by Registered Mail. Very effective.
                    Last edited by logicalvelocity; 04-18-2010, 11:31 AM.

                    Comment

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