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Living Nightmare! 4 Kids Taken By False Sexual Abuse Allegations By Exwife!

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  • #16
    Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
    I'm trying to understand this part:
    "Inconclusive" should read "no abuse verified" .. as they did not verify any abuse .. would be my thinking.
    CAS is very very unlikely to clear the dad's name specially given the nature of the allegations. in my case based on mere false charges by police of violence against the mother - yes the mother, not the child; the CAS "verified" to the OCL case worker that the child was "exposed to violence"
    -fact check; there was no violence and all charges were dropped before pre-lim. their "verification" was based solely on the ex's allegations and the charges again the charges were based on allegations from the ex.

    Do read the case of the man who had to spend 3.1 million dollars to get custody (2014) of his 3 children, the entire war was waged by CAS on mother's behalf and at the end CAS was ordered to pay 1.4 million and the crazy nutbar ex was only ordered to pay 600k while the 1.1 million remainder was left for him to bear.

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    • #17
      At this point CAS was open to me having supervised access with a family member. The mother refused this.
      CAS was fine with supervised access and mom wasn't. Maximum Contact Principle is not a toy to play with.

      I moved out and ended our marriage 2 years ago, after being made to feel like a lower member of the house than the dog.
      You ended the marriage. So it's safe to say there were considerable hard feelings on her part. Are her emotions over your relationship breakdown clouding over your true parenting abilities?

      Out of the blue, shortly after my two girls (2 and 6yr old) came over for a sleep over, I get a call from the police saying the 2yr old told her mother I sexually touched her.
      * About a week later, the boys reportedly told the mother that I touch them too and they saw me touching their sister on a previous weekend.
      Whoo .. back up a second. So you had overnight access after separation (ex had no concerns).

      Then police call, saying daughter reported sexual abuse to mother. Then mother LET BOYS COME THE NEXT WEEK? She seems ultra concerned doesn't she? No mention of abuse by your oldest girl because she too old to coach IMO. So did you mean the boys apparently "came out" that they'd been abused the following week? Or did they have the visit with you the following week also?

      She is asking for termination of access, and saying that I should not even have supervised with family because we will grill the children with questions.
      You should not have supervised NOT because your a sexual predator but because you grill them? Interesting.

      Phone recording's of her coaching children is golden (although I discourage surreptitious recordings if a parent is blatantly coaching a child it may be considered).

      Your ex doesn't like grocery meat, was sexually abused herself and feels her son was a predator at 2 yrs is worth analyzing further.

      She want's to homeschool her kids because they alleged sexual abuse which couldn't even be verified? Yikes. Not in their best interests to miss that experience on a hunch.

      They file answer with court stating that the children are attending sexual abuse counseling at a crisis center, but 'the results are not finalized
      No. You are not okay with this. If they are to see anybody it should be a qualified professional referred by a physician. The party needs to be completely neutral. Get on that.

      Is this what CAS is waiting for before they verify/unverify anything?

      You had a forensic investigation .. Was that with SACA (sexual assault unit .. police)?

      CAS closed the file stating that I have no access so they have no role presently. They advised me to contact my lawyer to get access back. They state the results of their investigation are 'inconclusive'.
      This continues to bother me.

      Are you in jail? No! Did the forensics find anything? No!

      When CAS get involved in a case like this yes access is stopped. The CAS contacts Sexual assault unit of the police force, who conduct an assessment (see if its a high conflict custody case). The police didnt even see me. But my daughter didnt report anything .. I just had a cray cray OCL.

      Did SACA see you? Did CAS send a letter to both parents after their investigation? In a proper Child Protection investigation the worker should be sending a letter to tell the parents if it's "verified" or "unverified". If it's "Inconclusive" then what are they missing? If it's the CRISIS CTR report done by those not qualified then do your laces up because you're in for a ride.

      To the other poster .. yes that was a crazy CAS case back in 2014. I also agree that they can go both ways. In my experiences their investigations were thorough and very professionally done and in a prompt fashion in conjunction with the police.

      The difference here is that the dad has to prove mom put them up to it. That makes it "inconclusive".
      Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-09-2015, 10:52 PM.

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      • #18
        Its been about two years since I first made this post and I thought I'd follow up with some progress. In case anyone else in the same predicament finds this thread, keep fighting, there is hope!

        After about 11 months of no contact, my lawyer secured an order or supervised visitation. I was lucky enough to find a subsidized supervised access center that was in the city my ex lived in with the children.

        We underwent a section 30 assessment from a court appointed psychologist. He found no signs of abuse, but fell short of describing my ex's poisonous influence on the children. He ultimately recommended a generous visitation schedule for me.

        For about 13 months I saw the 4 children once a week for 1h45m. I made the best of that time but I did feel the children saw me as more detached from their daily life. As much as I missed through supervised visits I do truly appreciate the workers at the center. Without them I would have had no contact at all. So far legal fees for the last two years are running over $15,000. However I did prefer one of the best lawyers in the city who I felt could untangle the big "high conflict" mess my ex has created. So far he's done a great job of that.

        Just today I received an order for full weekend access, but supervised by family members. Looking forward to the next chapter of this saga, and very helpful for the support I received along the way.

        If you're facing parental alienation scenario and need a friend who's been through the worst of it, PM me anytime.

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        • #19
          Final order or interim? Every weekend or every other weekend? Why does it have to be supervised? Did you consent to it or was it ordered against you?

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          • #20
            This is an interim order. It has to be supervised I guess out of caution, even though he found no finding against me. It is for every other weekend from Friday at 9pm to Sunday at 7pm.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by thebookworm View Post
              This is an interim order. It has to be supervised I guess out of caution, even though he found no finding against me. It is for every other weekend from Friday at 9pm to Sunday at 7pm.
              Thank god it is interim.

              Have you gotten the CAS records? Have the sexual allegations been closed as inconclusive?

              What about the sexual abuse program the mother put the kids through, did you get that report? What does that report say?

              You should keep your access very child focused , do fun activities with them, and bring a motion for regular access in a couple of month and amend your pleadings for sole custody if there was no basis to you being denied access to your children for the last year.

              Supervised access is most always meant to be temporary.

              Do not agree to anything less than 50-50 on a final basis.

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              • #22
                Have you gotten the CAS records? Have the sexual allegations been closed as inconclusive?

                What about the sexual abuse program the mother put the kids through, did you get that report? What does that report say?
                My lawyer cross examined the CAS worker and that largely led to the judge determining she was bias and determined to support my ex's position. Yes their official report was "inconclusive" however the worker kept saying she believed I was an abuser, but couldn't prove it. That line emboldened by ex in her attempt to keep the kids away from me.

                As far as the counseling program, nothing was submitted by the counselor as evidence, or at least nothing was presented as evidence. I assume that worked in my favour as the only reason they were put in the counseling was to elicit "disclosures", which of course never happened.

                I wish I could provide a sensible explanation of how everything played out, but largely I just had to sit back and watch events unfold.

                My advice for anyone facing false sexual abuse allegations is to get the best damn lawyer you can afford and do everything you can to maintain the parent-child relationship during the storm. I attended all supervised visits without fail for 13 months and that worked in my favour as it provided 3rd party evidence as to the quality of my relationship with the children.

                I will update further as the case progresses. My lawyer thinks I will end up with full custody.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by thebookworm View Post
                  My lawyer cross examined the CAS worker and that largely led to the judge determining she was bias and determined to support my ex's position. Yes their official report was "inconclusive" however the worker kept saying she believed I was an abuser, but couldn't prove it. That line emboldened by ex in her attempt to keep the kids away from me.

                  As far as the counseling program, nothing was submitted by the counselor as evidence, or at least nothing was presented as evidence. I assume that worked in my favour as the only reason they were put in the counseling was to elicit "disclosures", which of course never happened.

                  I wish I could provide a sensible explanation of how everything played out, but largely I just had to sit back and watch events unfold.

                  My advice for anyone facing false sexual abuse allegations is to get the best damn lawyer you can afford and do everything you can to maintain the parent-child relationship during the storm. I attended all supervised visits without fail for 13 months and that worked in my favour as it provided 3rd party evidence as to the quality of my relationship with the children.

                  I will update further as the case progresses. My lawyer thinks I will end up with full custody.
                  Happy to know you're in good hands. I wish you the Best of all luck.

                  Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

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