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  • SA states no child support

    My ex has proposed that our SA states no child support, we just share in common expenses on a monthly basis. 3 kids living 50/50 with us. We are trying to complete a comprehensive agreement and finally get divorced, 7 years later.

    We've been paying offset support to date. She has made more than me for two out the last three years, but minimally and she did not pay me child support (refused - it was only $40/month).

    I expect that I will again make more than her for the remainder of raising our kids. There is potential that I make twice as much as her as I used to.

    From this forum, agreeing to waive CS is presented as a bad idea.

    Can we do this? It does not matter too much to me, but it would be nice to just be totally separate. We are both professionally employed and should be able to take care of ourselves and the kids.

    Also for post secondary, I'd rather not have anything to do with my ex - I don't expect her to contribute much anyway. The more separate we are, the better.

    If she took me to court later, would the agreement have any weight? What is the longest retro period I may be ordered to pay back CS?

  • #2
    I know you guys take turns claiming the kids. If you don't "pay each other c/s", one of you may lose your ability to claim the kids. I'd likely agree to pay each other the exact same amount, like $500, and agree that each offsets the other.

    Also, be sure to do financial disclosure. Don't give her fair reason to revisit the agreement later by failing to advise of current finances.

    Whether this will work, I can't see why not. Just because you have potential to earn more, doesn't mean you will or that the agreement cannot be revisited in the event you do. Should your income increase significantly, advise your ex and state that you would be willing revisit the c/s clause in the agreement once you have received her financial disclosure. She may or may not do anything about it.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by billm View Post
      My ex has proposed that our SA states no child support, we just share in common expenses on a monthly basis. 3 kids living 50/50 with us. We are trying to complete a comprehensive agreement and finally get divorced, 7 years later.

      We've been paying offset support to date. She has made more than me for two out the last three years, but minimally and she did not pay me child support (refused - it was only $40/month).

      I expect that I will again make more than her for the remainder of raising our kids. There is potential that I make twice as much as her as I used to.

      From this forum, agreeing to waive CS is presented as a bad idea.

      Can we do this? It does not matter too much to me, but it would be nice to just be totally separate. We are both professionally employed and should be able to take care of ourselves and the kids.

      Also for post secondary, I'd rather not have anything to do with my ex - I don't expect her to contribute much anyway. The more separate we are, the better.

      If she took me to court later, would the agreement have any weight? What is the longest retro period I may be ordered to pay back CS?
      All that stuff about the CS being the right of the child and the parent can't waive it is what I'd be worried about. I would keep it by the books as best you can, but dealing in good faith.

      Here's my suggestion. Keep exchanging income information (I assume you are doing this or you wouldn't know she should be paying you $40).

      Then calculate the amount and keep a running tally of it over the years, even if nobody pays it. For example, she owes you $960 in CS arrears for the last two years. When you start to owe her again, instead of paying her, start subtracting it from her arrears, until it reaches zero. Then your arrears start accumulating because you won't be paying her either.

      Just keep the running tally of that arrears amount. She'll either change her mind and ask for it some day, in which case you have it handy. Or she won't, in which case you can use it for her amount of section 7 towards the post-secondary expenses you said you anticipate she won't cover.

      This way, if the worst case scenario happens and she takes you to court, you can prove you weren't neglecting your CS obligations. She set the precedent that the minimal offset amount wasn't worth bothering over, and you continued in that vein.

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      • #4
        My SA states no CS. I should be in receipt of it but it still states no CS. This has been in effect for 8 years. My support should be about 700 a month for CS. The court signed off on our SA and granted our divorce. Our whole SA is on one sheet of paper and access states only: the children will spend time with each parent as they wish.

        And yes, this is a very risky SA. However my children enjoy their father as much as they and dad want. He can swing by any day and take them at any time. I promote their relationship but in truth I don't really have to. They are their own family too.

        Obviously this worked for us. I have no regrets. Neither does he. I struggled over the years here and there and he bought some winter clothing for them once in response to my struggles (as one example). We don't always seek eye to eye but we respect one another.

        It's a crap shoot for sure. But what if you put a clause in that you would consider the circumstances ever year in February for instance. And if no application (or request) was made by 28 February of each year that it is deemed that you each waive and release each other from any CS arrears. You'd have to have the proper wording of course and establish how that request was made (fax, email, etc. )

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        • #5
          Bill I think you are asking for trouble by not exchanging financials. You are potentially setting yourself up for a problem down the road.

          While I can understand your desire to distance yourself from your ex, I think you have to do things so as to make sure you aren't dragged to court someday in the future. Also, you don't know what the future holds - you could suffer a debilitating illness/injury and you might need money from her.

          I'd exchange the financials on a yearly basis. Even if it means exchanging 50.00 you should do it. Years down the road if/when she tries to drag you into court you will then have proof that you played and paid according to the rules.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by arabian View Post
            Bill I think you are asking for trouble by not exchanging financials. You are potentially setting yourself up for a problem down the road.

            While I can understand your desire to distance yourself from your ex, I think you have to do things so as to make sure you aren't dragged to court someday in the future. Also, you don't know what the future holds - you could suffer a debilitating illness/injury and you might need money from her.

            I'd exchange the financials on a yearly basis. Even if it means exchanging 50.00 you should do it. Years down the road if/when she tries to drag you into court you will then have proof that you played and paid according to the rules.
            I agree... cover your ass. That and also to keep the CRA happy.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by arabian View Post
              Also, you don't know what the future holds - you could suffer a debilitating illness/injury and you might need money from her.

              I'd exchange the financials on a yearly basis. Even if it means exchanging 50.00 you should do it. Years down the road if/when she tries to drag you into court you will then have proof that you played and paid according to the rules.
              Yes, I would still exchange financials - though I don't think she wants to, but I can always give her mine.

              As for illness/injury causing a my need for support. SS is out of the question as we are separated and I wouldn't hold her responsible for me.

              However, I suppose it may lead to me wanting CS.

              Otherwise, I don't want anything from her. I was also considering that if she ever owes me CS according to guidelines, that it just be a credit for if/when she wants if from me.

              I'm totally surprised by her request. The only reason she thinks it has all been a struggle to determine CS is due to her legal actions and mistrust of me (and bad advice from her many lawyers). If she'd just leave me alone and provide her financials, I'd do everything by the book with proof, as I have always done since separation - it ain't rocket science. Maybe she's realized that all the lawyer/arguing crap has been hard on her and now she is overreacting and wants nothing to do with it.

              So if we don't pay each other child support, we can't claim a dependent??

              Comment


              • #8
                There are a lot of potential risks with an agreement that states no CS (tax, uncertain future, etc). There are no risks if you go by the book and say that you'll both pay CS, and it doesn't disadvantage you or the kids.

                My ex and I started out with an agreement in which we agreed I would pay the majority of after-school care expenses in lieu of CS (our incomes were in a 53/47 ratio, with me as the higher earner) mainly because I, like you, wanted to be as separate from him as possible and much preferred paying the care provider directly (this also made sure they actually did get paid).

                However, this was a mistake. It actually opened up more doors for the ex to complain and argue despite signing the agreement. In the final divorce order, we changed it to simple offset, and as a consequence have had much less haggling and unpleasant contact. I just set up an automatic monthly withdrawal from my chequing account, and I don't even have to think about it. So while you technically *can* deviate from table amounts if you have 50/50, I would suggest that this is a bad idea. You can minimize your dealings with the ex by sticking strictly to the guidelines, as opposed to a DIY arrangement.
                Last edited by stripes; 03-07-2014, 11:39 PM. Reason: Dumb typo.

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