Hi all,
I'm very happy to have found this site. I am feeling extremely lost and like I have no one to talk to about this.
I am 35 years old with 2 kids, one with special needs. They are young - 3 and 1 years old.
I have been married for 6 years. It's been rocky. I don't want to get into all of my husband's short comings, but we have slept on separate floors for 2 years, and it's a struggle to get along. Most of the time we are so tired from work, the house, and taking care of the kids that we just don't interact. I'm often too tired to fight so when he does something stupid, hurtful or careless, I just ignore it because I don't have the energy to fight.
Yesterday I took the kids out for a play date and I get a picture boxes of toys I had purchased for Christmas from my husband. It's accompanied by a nasty message saying he is sick to death of all of the junk in our house and he can't live like this and wants a divorce. He doesn't want to live with me anymore, and doesn't want to live with our children anymore.
I purposely remained calm in my texts, and he just fired off at me going off about how I'm a slob, criticizing my family, and my parenting skills.
I asked him if he was serious about wanting a divorce and he said yes.
I work full time (he doesn't right now), so I told him to leave the house and my mom will watch the kids later in the week.
He FREAKED out and sent my very kind and supportive mom a text message basically telling her to stay out of this.
She had no clue what he was talking about, so she called me and I filled her in. She was livid at what he had done and was very kind to me and told me her and my dad would help me through this.
This all happened yesterday and we have not spoke. My husband is still in the house and refuses to leave. He is now saying he DOES want to live with the kids and if I leave he will fight me for custody.
I truly don't care that my husband wants to leave me. If it was just me, I'd be happy and feel free. It just breaks my heart that he couldn't give a shit about the kids. I am also worried how I am going to raise two kids by myself. How will I have enough time or money for both of them?
I also refuse to allow him joint custody. He can't financially support them (he could only afford a small condo without me), and he drinks way too much. plus I think they are too young for the back and forth that would come with joint custody.
Today my mom, who is normally amazing, sent me a text telling me that I "have to figure this out". I have not confided in her about just how devastated I am, and I think she's annoyed at how juvenile my husband is. She's clearly fed up, and I don't blame her.
I don't know what to do or where to go from here. I have an appointment with a lawyer, and I'm trying to get into see my counselor (I go solo - my husband refuses to go).
I don't know if I should pack up the kids and go to my parents house, or if I should stand my ground and wait for him to leave. (I can afford our house on my own - he cannot).
I'm sorry for such a huge ramble. My head is just spinning and I don't know where to go from here.
I've never felt so lost, hurt, stressed, betrayed and confused.
Thank you to anyone who read this.
I'm very happy to have found this site. I am feeling extremely lost and like I have no one to talk to about this.
I am 35 years old with 2 kids, one with special needs. They are young - 3 and 1 years old.
I have been married for 6 years. It's been rocky. I don't want to get into all of my husband's short comings, but we have slept on separate floors for 2 years, and it's a struggle to get along. Most of the time we are so tired from work, the house, and taking care of the kids that we just don't interact. I'm often too tired to fight so when he does something stupid, hurtful or careless, I just ignore it because I don't have the energy to fight.
Yesterday I took the kids out for a play date and I get a picture boxes of toys I had purchased for Christmas from my husband. It's accompanied by a nasty message saying he is sick to death of all of the junk in our house and he can't live like this and wants a divorce. He doesn't want to live with me anymore, and doesn't want to live with our children anymore.
I purposely remained calm in my texts, and he just fired off at me going off about how I'm a slob, criticizing my family, and my parenting skills.
I asked him if he was serious about wanting a divorce and he said yes.
I work full time (he doesn't right now), so I told him to leave the house and my mom will watch the kids later in the week.
He FREAKED out and sent my very kind and supportive mom a text message basically telling her to stay out of this.
She had no clue what he was talking about, so she called me and I filled her in. She was livid at what he had done and was very kind to me and told me her and my dad would help me through this.
This all happened yesterday and we have not spoke. My husband is still in the house and refuses to leave. He is now saying he DOES want to live with the kids and if I leave he will fight me for custody.
I truly don't care that my husband wants to leave me. If it was just me, I'd be happy and feel free. It just breaks my heart that he couldn't give a shit about the kids. I am also worried how I am going to raise two kids by myself. How will I have enough time or money for both of them?
I also refuse to allow him joint custody. He can't financially support them (he could only afford a small condo without me), and he drinks way too much. plus I think they are too young for the back and forth that would come with joint custody.
Today my mom, who is normally amazing, sent me a text telling me that I "have to figure this out". I have not confided in her about just how devastated I am, and I think she's annoyed at how juvenile my husband is. She's clearly fed up, and I don't blame her.
I don't know what to do or where to go from here. I have an appointment with a lawyer, and I'm trying to get into see my counselor (I go solo - my husband refuses to go).
I don't know if I should pack up the kids and go to my parents house, or if I should stand my ground and wait for him to leave. (I can afford our house on my own - he cannot).
I'm sorry for such a huge ramble. My head is just spinning and I don't know where to go from here.
I've never felt so lost, hurt, stressed, betrayed and confused.
Thank you to anyone who read this.
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