Child's whereabouts unknown

[beenthere]

Thanks Tiredofthefight, I was trying to think of a way to let HAMMERDAD know it's not always as simple as people think to sort things out especially for military members. My ex did the classic "wait till he's on exercise 2 provinces away then take the kid, furniture, clean out the bank accounts move 9 hours away & file for custody". Been down hill ever since... I did my best to have a relationship with my daughter but with distance & military commitments not easy to do, like you once she hit teen yrs the brainwashing from Mommie-dearest went into high gear. I spent 20k just to get access but in the end I felt I had to back off for the kid's sake, her mother would go ballistic every time she came back from spending time with me, made the kid's life hell(according to step-dad). Now D is heading to university, told by her mother she does NOT have to pay a cent although she was left close to 30k by grandpa. I was hoping to get support changed to pay kid directly so I don't have to deal with ex ever again but after reading your experience I realize it's probably a long shot. I know I didn't handle things properly when ex took off, at that time the military was not viewed with the high esteem it is today & my ex told me point blank " try to stop me I'll say you abused me" and I knew the courts would believe her and I would lose my job along with everything else. She has used the "abuse" lie many times but now I have one "heartfelt" email from her during my 1st roto in Afghanistan where she states clearly she left because she couldn't handle being a military wife. I'm at the point now that I hold little hope my kid will ever want to see me again, like you I'm tired of trying to deal with ex that has nothing better to do then make up things to fight about. Wish these high conflict types could be shipped over to Afghanistan, being in a place like that sure changes your perspective about what is truly important. I totally agree with you that the system is broke, as a male NCP it has never done me any favours! Cheers brother!

[Tiredofthefight]

Thanks Beenthere.

Good to see fellow Afgh vets here. I suffered thensamemissues with my Ex. Same program, different day. I personally feel that we are held in extreme contempt by the Family Courts. When we try to get sole custody, it is denied by family courts, soley on the basis, we get deployed (despite having a family care plan in place). Ex wife's jump on the band wagon that we all have PTSD and are abusive - which the courts seem to support, and hold it against us. We put ourselves in harms way to protect fundamental rights, only to have it held against us by the family court system.
People do not seem to understand, that when we deploy, we need to be focused as the lives of our fellow sliders depend upon it. We are not abandoning our fight to maintain our relationships with our kids, but we need to focus on an enemy armed with IEDs as opposed to Court Orders.

The system we fight to protect, is broken!

[wretchedotis]

As an update, apparently the school that the child was supposed to have been at has a letter from the CP explicitly instructing the school not to release any information to the NCP or discuss the child with the NCP, directly contradicting terms of the court order.

I think that if you attend the school and speak with the Principal (with the Court Order in hand) and show him/her the official document indicating you ARE able to - you will find they start releasing information to you.

My ex pulled that $4it on me. Once the Principal saw the court order - they talked to me freely about anything I wanted to know.

[Exquizique]

I think that if you attend the school and speak with the Principal (with the Court Order in hand) and show him/her the official document indicating you ARE able to - you will find they start releasing information to you.

My ex pulled that $4it on me. Once the Principal saw the court order - they talked to me freely about anything I wanted to know.

Yes they did inform the NCP that once identity was proven and the court order was provided, they would provide the NCP with information that they had.

But it really doesn't help much when the child is no longer at the school.

[wretchedotis]

well its somewhere to start.

maybe the child was expelled, had problems, was referred to a different school.

I would think they would know where the child was transferred to...

[SingingDad]

If the school is in Ontario, the child's school file follows the child and the new school would have requested it from the old school, but the old school would still have a record of where it was sent to. Plus the new residential address should be in the file as well. They could also contact the school board directly.
SD

[Exquizique]

If the school is in Ontario, the child's school file follows the child and the new school would have requested it from the old school, but the old school would still have a record of where it was sent to. Plus the new residential address should be in the file as well. They could also contact the school board directly.
SD

Thanks SingingDad! Not being a parent myself, I did not know that this was the case. I will relay this information to the NCP.

Letters requesting information has gone out, looking at court options and direct communications with the school and school board.

[Tayken]

Thanks SingingDad! Not being a parent myself, I did not know that this was the case. I will relay this information to the NCP.

Letters requesting information has gone out, looking at court options and direct communications with the school and school board.

That is *UNLESS* there is a court order for "sole custody" in place and the school has a copy of it. They won't disclose the information.

Then you have to bring matters before the Superior Court, Family Law to get the information.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[blinkandimgone]

From one of the first posts:

As an update, apparently the school that the child was supposed to have been at has a letter from the CP explicitly instructing the school not to release any information to the NCP or discuss the child with the NCP, directly contradicting terms of the court order.

Although I couldn't find a post that detailed exactly what the custody arrangement is, ^^ that does imply that there is indeed an order and the court has instructed that the NCP be kept informed - which has not only not happened, but the CP has purposely obstructed others from providing said info.

[Exquizique]

Although I couldn't find a post that detailed exactly what the custody arrangement is, ^^ that does imply that there is indeed an order and the court has instructed that the NCP be kept informed - which has not only not happened, but the CP has purposely obstructed others from providing said info.

Yes, this is indeed the case.

[pasconsultant]

Hi
My name is Joseph Goldberg and I think I can help you
with the problem you are having. It sounds to me like you
may have problems with parental alienation. Are you at
all familar with this term ? I am an expert in this field and
I work helping parents and their lawyers on these types
of cases.
Please visit my website at - Goldberg & Associates
If you would like to contact me directly please write to me
at jgoldberg@cspas.org ( I am also the Founder of the
Canadian Sympsoium for Parental Alienation Syndrome.)
I do charge a fee for a consultation. Perhaps if you would
like to go into more details with me I can tell you how I'd
be able to best help you.

[HammerDad]

Hi
My name is Joseph Goldberg and I think I can help you
with the problem you are having. It sounds to me like you
may have problems with parental alienation. Are you at
all familar with this term ? I am an expert in this field and
I work helping parents and their lawyers on these types
of cases.
Please visit my website at - Goldberg & Associates
If you would like to contact me directly please write to me
at jgoldberg@cspas.org ( I am also the Founder of the
Canadian Sympsoium for Parental Alienation Syndrome.)
I do charge a fee for a consultation. Perhaps if you would
like to go into more details with me I can tell you how I'd
be able to best help you.

Didn't I recently read something in the rules about spamming.....

While I agree PAS exists, this sort of solicitation would be best by private message to interested parties directly.

[Mess]

Didn't I recently read something in the rules about spamming.....

While I agree PAS exists, this sort of solicitation would be best by private message to interested parties directly.

Don't give him ideas...

[HammerDad]

Don't give him ideas...

......noted....