Good day all!
I have not been on here in quite a while. As some of you may remember, I have a S6 and was implicated in a very lengthy and high conflict separation. The following post is to put you in context and questions follow.
My son's father and I agreed that prior to Court we would hire a professional, Social Worker, Custody Evaluator and Mediator to work with us and develop a new parenting plan/schedule to help our S6 in light of behavioral and academic difficulties. Prior to SW's involvement, S6 was diagnosed with ADHD and became extremely violent both in class and in other environments, there were also many other issues that derived from this such as socially being outcast and his own self esteem. Evidently this meant a material change and S6 needed to be well supported and assessed.
After the SW's assessments were conducted (3months of working with us), she determined that a change from a 50/50 access to an every other extended weekend with dad would help S6 regain control and feel stable in our home (I'm in a long term relationship). SW's disclosure didn't go over well with son's father, he became irate and belligerent in the meeting. The morning of this, my lawyer was informed that his lawyer was no longer willing to represent him and therefore he was now self rep. A few things to disclose, the SW made many recommendations for my son's father to seek help for basic communication skills, stress and anger issues and drug consumption (all of which implemented in our new Court order).
My son's father refused to implement the recommendations he had legally agreed to follow, this meant that we needed to go to Court to have the recommendations legally implemented and drawn up in a Court Order.
Now many months down the road, we were in Court, the judge granting me all of what I was seeking plus costs that were previously reserved were to be submitted for his review. (Costs are still in review.)
After Court, my son's father went on a social media slandering campaign. Going as far as cooking up and posting disturbing information about myself, and disclosing information about our son's condition and medication recourse. He has continued to defame my counsel and I on social media two months after Court. He's been put on notice multiple times but to no avail.
During the Court proceedings, my son's father became irate and could not seem to answer the judge when questioned, he was unprepared and became increasingly aggressive to the point where police placed themselves in a protective position of myself and my lawyer. I was escorted by police to my place of work afterwards and was flagged with OPP as being high risk. My son's father made remarks during Court that he would not be paying CS any longer which was ruled in Court that the support would be upped from 400 to 500.
As of now, there is an unpaid CS amount of 1600. Last payment was made on the 3rd of this month for the amount of 400. FRO has been implicated since we separated in 2010 and have now attempted to contact him via phone as well as put him on notice for the arrears via formal letter.
My questions:
1.If my son's father makes a payment such as this past one, does FRO continue to address the arrears issues?
2.How can I protect my S6 from the alienation and anger from his father? He's been continuously told, since Court, that the new agreement is unfair and should be 50/50 along with other questionable information that he omits to my partner, myself and his grand parents.
3.If you've been in a similar situation, how did you explain to your child why there was a change in access? (I initially told my son that a "Mr.Judge" had decided that he would have to spend less time with his dad, but this is not satisfactory to S6.
4.Where should I draw the line on slander and defamation of character? We live in a very small community and I work in the Social Services industry/ This could potentially have effects on my son and my family in the near future.
5.Should I inform Child Protective Services or Police Services? (My lawyer has suggested that I speak with authorities,but I fear there would be greater backlash and possibly be even more detrimental to S6).
I apologize for the extremely long post, I appreciate your support and compassion.
Thank you and have a splendid day!
I have not been on here in quite a while. As some of you may remember, I have a S6 and was implicated in a very lengthy and high conflict separation. The following post is to put you in context and questions follow.
My son's father and I agreed that prior to Court we would hire a professional, Social Worker, Custody Evaluator and Mediator to work with us and develop a new parenting plan/schedule to help our S6 in light of behavioral and academic difficulties. Prior to SW's involvement, S6 was diagnosed with ADHD and became extremely violent both in class and in other environments, there were also many other issues that derived from this such as socially being outcast and his own self esteem. Evidently this meant a material change and S6 needed to be well supported and assessed.
After the SW's assessments were conducted (3months of working with us), she determined that a change from a 50/50 access to an every other extended weekend with dad would help S6 regain control and feel stable in our home (I'm in a long term relationship). SW's disclosure didn't go over well with son's father, he became irate and belligerent in the meeting. The morning of this, my lawyer was informed that his lawyer was no longer willing to represent him and therefore he was now self rep. A few things to disclose, the SW made many recommendations for my son's father to seek help for basic communication skills, stress and anger issues and drug consumption (all of which implemented in our new Court order).
My son's father refused to implement the recommendations he had legally agreed to follow, this meant that we needed to go to Court to have the recommendations legally implemented and drawn up in a Court Order.
Now many months down the road, we were in Court, the judge granting me all of what I was seeking plus costs that were previously reserved were to be submitted for his review. (Costs are still in review.)
After Court, my son's father went on a social media slandering campaign. Going as far as cooking up and posting disturbing information about myself, and disclosing information about our son's condition and medication recourse. He has continued to defame my counsel and I on social media two months after Court. He's been put on notice multiple times but to no avail.
During the Court proceedings, my son's father became irate and could not seem to answer the judge when questioned, he was unprepared and became increasingly aggressive to the point where police placed themselves in a protective position of myself and my lawyer. I was escorted by police to my place of work afterwards and was flagged with OPP as being high risk. My son's father made remarks during Court that he would not be paying CS any longer which was ruled in Court that the support would be upped from 400 to 500.
As of now, there is an unpaid CS amount of 1600. Last payment was made on the 3rd of this month for the amount of 400. FRO has been implicated since we separated in 2010 and have now attempted to contact him via phone as well as put him on notice for the arrears via formal letter.
My questions:
1.If my son's father makes a payment such as this past one, does FRO continue to address the arrears issues?
2.How can I protect my S6 from the alienation and anger from his father? He's been continuously told, since Court, that the new agreement is unfair and should be 50/50 along with other questionable information that he omits to my partner, myself and his grand parents.
3.If you've been in a similar situation, how did you explain to your child why there was a change in access? (I initially told my son that a "Mr.Judge" had decided that he would have to spend less time with his dad, but this is not satisfactory to S6.
4.Where should I draw the line on slander and defamation of character? We live in a very small community and I work in the Social Services industry/ This could potentially have effects on my son and my family in the near future.
5.Should I inform Child Protective Services or Police Services? (My lawyer has suggested that I speak with authorities,but I fear there would be greater backlash and possibly be even more detrimental to S6).
I apologize for the extremely long post, I appreciate your support and compassion.
Thank you and have a splendid day!
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